confusedmama Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Just started "talking" to a guy who is 10 years younger than I am. Although he initiated the conversation and continues to do so, I am concerned that he is so young. ( i'm 43 & he is 33) Its funny, the last guy I dated was 9 years older than I am and i had no issue with it but this has me worried. Why do I setup the double standard for myself, and should I be worried about it? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I don't think you should be too worried. At his age, he should be more mature. I say just get to know him a little better and see where it leads. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 When I met my husband (online) I was 37 & he was 26. I attempted to blow him off based on his age & his location (about 2 hours' drive from where I lived at the time). He was persistent....and that was a good thing. Turns out we had similar relationship goals, got along great and were mutually attracted. Been married 8.5 years. If it's "too much" of a gap, I haven't noticed it. Link to comment
confusedmama Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 Thanks-just scary-I know i shouldnt read too much into it yet, we are just talking. But we do hang out with the same people and have been thrown together for the past year or so. I guess I just am feeling ambushed and shocked Link to comment
confusedmama Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 Of course there is also the wrinkle that he is the cousin of the man I had been seeing-the one that is older than i am. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I am 42 and my boyfriend is 27 ... so 15 years difference. As with you, my previous boyfriend was older than me, by 8 years. I didn't even think about there being an age gap then, largely because with the man being the older it is more coventional and the fact that he was 8 years older than me as opposed to, say, 4 didn't mean anything to me. Now I am in a relationship where there is not only a 15 year age gap but I am the older one of the two. I have to admit that I had major concerns in the beginning but we have now been together for 10 amazing months and we are looking forward to a long-term future together. Having been married and divorced I realise that nothing in life is guaranteed. We could spend a life time looking for someone we consider "right" for us in all aspects yet it may still not work out in the long rumn. I have learnt to live for now. I try not to have too many expectations. A lot of course depends on the individuals and emotions involved ... and it is true to say that there are risks with any new relationship we embark on ... but if you have strong feelings for each other then the only thing you need to worry about are your own issues and concerns regarding the age gap and whether or not you can accept that they actually don't have to be an issue at all. Link to comment
calisurfer Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 New poster here and haven't had any experience with age gap relationships. Last one was a gap of 6 years. But my uncle is married to a woman who is 13 years his junior. They met when she was 26 and he was 39. They've been married for over 20 years and I wish could end up in a relationship like that. Whenever I go visit them I have such a good time, they are very loving and affectionate with each other. They never wanted to have kids, but are very happy where they are at right now in their lives. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Of course there is also the wrinkle that he is the cousin of the man I had been seeing-the one that is older than i am. That is the bigger issue than the age thing. Link to comment
Txbandit Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Just started "talking" to a guy who is 10 years younger than I am. Although he initiated the conversation and continues to do so, I am concerned that he is so young. ( i'm 43 & he is 33) Its funny, the last guy I dated was 9 years older than I am and i had no issue with it but this has me worried. Why do I setup the double standard for myself, and should I be worried about it? I am involved with a woman who is 47, I am 38. I do not think it has anything is wrong with the age gap. If a minor under age 18 or lower, then there will be a PROBLEM. Not to mention being on the offender list. I abhor the idea that a 13 up to 17 year old dating an adult. It constitutes statutory rape, and can cause tons of grief. I would refrain from dating a minor if you are an adult. It spells grief and trouble. These are my two cents. Now if two adults 18 and above wants to date someone in their 20s to 40. its a separate ball game. What do you think about this. Link to comment
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