pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 in what way? Doesn't like being wrong, or apologizing, or giving in. But he's changed his tune last couple issues we've had. He apologized last night which was huge. He has trouble expressing how he feels, doesn't like being vulnerable, etc. Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 ^I'm lazy - I really get annoyed when I lose my million and one tabs - some I opened 10 weeks ago (and who knows what I had there - even I don't remember) It is some kind of 'electronic hoarding' I think. So yes I get annoyed - I think that is what happened with him and he just took it out on her because she 'touched his important mess'. This is pretty much him. His tabs are like a todo list, some are weeks old. He's always been fine with me on his computer because I use a different window (usually chrome incognito or firefox private browsing). Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Stop using his computer. That's a simple solution. I think you both have some control issues given the way you guard your messaging from him. Are you two officially bf/gf? Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 Stop using his computer. That's a simple solution. I think you both have some control issues given the way you guard your messaging from him. Are you two officially bf/gf? Yep. I'm not going to use it anymore. We are not officially bf/gf. A couple months in I asked to be his girlfriend and he said he wasn't ready. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 How long have you two been dating? Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 we've been dating 3 months. we've been exclusive for a bit over a month. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Yep. I'm not going to use it anymore. We are not officially bf/gf. A couple months in I asked to be his girlfriend and he said he wasn't ready. it's all about him, isn't it? i don't know you guys - but i can easily see a situation where if you get married, you have to ask permission for even the stupidest little thing. like asking him if it's ok for you to get lunch with a female friend, or ask if it's ok if you start buying a new brand of soap. i wouldn't be surprised if this guy freaked out over the wrong soap or the key rack being moved. Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 I did break up with him once, because I didn't want to deal with the all about him attitude. He had a complete turn around and opened up for the first time in a long time. He's been making progress since then. I usually never get back together with people, this was the first time in a long time. I know that if I ever broke it off again, it would be forever. I don't want to do it until I'm sure there's no chance for us, Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I did break up with him once, because I didn't want to deal with the all about him attitude. He had a complete turn around and opened up for the first time in a long time. He's been making progress since then. I usually never get back together with people, this was the first time in a long time. I know that if I ever broke it off again, it would be forever. I don't want to do it until I'm sure there's no chance for us, I understand why you want to wait and see. It sounds like in only three short months there are a lot of red flags: -Breaking up before -His attitude -Your (smaller) control issues -He refuses to commit (I think this is actually the most problematic) I wish you luck, and all I can say is that since you are going to stay in this, do your BEST to keep this a fun "dating" experience you can. Even when he introduces drama, you have to learn how to deflect as best you can. Don't cave, don't cower, don't bend; deflect. Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 He texted me, thanking me for the email and saying it meant alot to him. Not sure I want to text back or really contact him yet. I honestly don't feel like going to his house anymore. The computer is there and it will just remind me of how I'm not trusted. I'm still a bit hurt. I don't really know what I expect from him right now, maybe I just need some space. Link to comment
pennyloafer2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 I can't find the edit button right now, but I replied with "You're welcome." I didn't want to be passive aggressive and ignore him, nor sound needy. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I'm still a bit hurt. I don't really know what I expect from him right now, maybe I just need some space. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but do you think that he might also feel this way when you hide your messages from him? Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 >>We are not officially bf/gf. A couple months in I asked to be his girlfriend and he said he wasn't ready. OK, this might be the problem... he doesn't see you as his partner, and hence though he may not be sleeping with anyone else yet if you're exclusive, he may still think he has the right to chat up other girls and if he finds a better one break it off with you. And frankly, i don't get people who are more than willing to share their bodies with someone else, sleep in their bed, which is the height of exposure and vulnerability, yet not let them use a computer without freaking out! If i trust someone enough to let them inside my body, i certainly feel i ought to trust them enough to let them use my PC. And if i don't, then that's a red flag that i probably shouldn't be sleeping with them if i don't trust them... Link to comment
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