Is it true that you never really forget the one you lost V to?

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by Fudgie

I believe sex is something you do when you already HAVE love/affection/relationship and just want to express it further with that special person. I've heard it before "if I have sex, we'll be closer and he'll love me." It doesn't work that way and then people get hurt.

I have to agree. Though I do see many girls/women who sleep with a guy early on looking for affection.. For the most part, it doesn't work out. I think it's sad. Though my view on sex isn't everyones. I just think sex is something that should be shared between two people in love, not just with anyone.

That's my view as well, sweet pea.

I know I'm kinda old-fashioned and had limited sexual experiences before meeting my future wife (I'm still sexually conservative, though am working on that), but I have seen what getting too physical too early can do to many people (not everyone as evidenced on this board).

[ClarenceRutherford]

No it's not recently, this was way back in Jan. 4 2007 that I lost it. See what I mean? More years can pass by and I still know the date.

Funny how that thing can stay in your mind.

Perhaps the date was connected to some other important date to you?

 

Honestly, I cannot remember the exact date I lost mine, but of course, the woman, and an approximate time frame, say between Nov. 1981 and March 1982.... my sr. year of HS...

 

Odd how I can vividly recall the details, and how she reacted, how her body moved, etc., but not if I held her afterward and tried to comfort her, "be there" for her and make her feel good after such a big event in a woman's life.

 

You read how girls, particularly, will post how they regret losing theirs to such a jerk, etc.

Personally, I regret the incident more than her. No, I shouldn't have had sex with her. She was a good woman and nothing to regret on that end.

[je55ie]

memories are reinforced by...remembering them. So, the more you think about it, the longer you will remember it. I remember every detail of the day I lost my virginity, but that's because I've told the story over and over again 100 times. But the day before? No, I don't remember it at all. But, I bet if I thought about it and talked and wrote about, I would. Highly emotional things are easier to remember, too. I bet the forgotten guy was, well, forgettable.

[yeawutever]

I'm not even trying but if someone were to ask, the date would still be stored. I guess it must have been such an significant event at the time (similar to when you lose your baby tooth and a new one comes in).

[meoww]

(eww) not all of us do. I have mixed feelings on this topic. I wanted to experience sex from an early age (maybe around 12 or so), but didn't get around to it until 16. The guy I had sex with is just really not my type I guess. I held off because I didn't want to be judged by my girlfriends and I wish I wouldn't have cared what they thought.

 

On the other hand I do wish it was special and with someone I really loved. There just weren't enough good options in my city though! It was just too small. I think the chances of finding love as a teenager in the suburbs are pretty small lol. I wish I would have branched out more and met people from more of the neighboring cities.

[ClarenceRutherford]

(eww) not all of us do. I have mixed feelings on this topic. I wanted to experience sex from an early age (maybe around 12 or so), but didn't get around to it until 16. The guy I had sex with is just really not my type I guess. I held off because I didn't want to be judged by my girlfriends and I wish I wouldn't have cared what they thought.

 

On the other hand I do wish it was special and with someone I really loved. There just weren't enough good options in my city though! It was just too small. I think the chances of finding love as a teenager in the suburbs are pretty small lol. I wish I would have branched out more and met people from more of the neighboring cities.

 

Sounds like you haven't forgotten him, no matter what you post.

[Batya33]

I'll never forget it, no, but I don't think that that has any relevance to my marriage (meaning I don't think that you need to or should forget about past boyfriends/experiences just because you're committed to someone else). I also will never forget my high school boyfriend or the proms we went to - seems pretty normal.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Didn't mean that rudely, but I do see a lot of regret there.

 

 

 

I probably liked my HS GF @17-18 and at the time, may have thought I LOVED her, but looking back, and even a year or so later, realized it wasn't real love, my first relationship.

 

That's one reason it's advisable teenagers don't get sexually involved early. 12-17 is too early, IMO and only creates problems.

 

Not to blame her, but she did tell me "I never tried anything..."

Honestly, was content with kissing and hugging, so I started "exploring" and pretty soon, we were close to having sex and then we both lost our virginities.

 

Would say I haven't really spent much time thinking about her. Only occasionally.

Recently, though, as I approached 50, she entered my mind, but not often and not much in the years following. It is a big regret.

 

Kinda wish I could've have been a virgin when I met my future wife @30.

She didn't think less of me about that, as she wasn't a virgin, but like me, she had limited experience.

 

 

 

 

Best not to live in the past and not let it affect your current relationships.

When I think of other GFs I had, some platonic and some sexual, if I ever start thinking how much "better" I might have been to have been with them, have to remember none of them cared for me half as much as the woman I walked the aisle with.....

[l0velife]

I don't think I'll ever forget him but its not that I'm still connected or attached to him. Its kind of like..if someone asked I would know and tell you oh we dated in high school etc but I don't feel anything talking or mentioning him.

[Silverbirch]

I remember but have no feelings for him. In hindsight, it was pretty disastrous as far as sex went as it was his first time too.

[emgj1984]

I specifically DIDN'T want to make first time a big deal and had sex at aged 16 with a friend of a friend I'd only met that night when quite drunk... I mostly don't regret it because I personally thought it was a good thing; I enjoyed it and had no committment issues, and no reprocussions.

It is 'the standard' that society makes us make it a big deal.... I didn't confirm to that

I dont think it matters too much....

This was 11 years ago almost!

[Phoenixfire]

My first SO basically forced me to have sex, and it breaks my heart that i lost it to her...

 

We were together for a while and our relationship was pretty bumpy. At first she acted like she didn't really want to do anything sexual, but then she suddenly kept telling me how badly she wanted me... i was scared out of my mind and wanted to take it slow, wait until later in our relationship, but she said she needed to do it asap. I gave in and the first time felt cold. We did have sex after that and it had more feeling and heart, but i never really forgave her. I know i have myself to blame too for giving in to her, but i wish i could have saved it...

 

So in answer to the question, i will never forget the one i lost my V to... but i don't try to dwell on it too much. I would rather look forward than back.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I remember but have no feelings for him. In hindsight, it was pretty disastrous as far as sex went as it was his first time too.

First times usually aren't that great.

Mine @17, when we both lost our's, it was YUCKY... and never got better.

Only did it 3-4X and both of us felt a lot of guilt.

 

I don't personally regret losing it to her... as she was a great girl. Just the circumstances and wish I'd waited until later in my 20s...

 

Guys/gals,

There's really no hurry...

[gingerlemon]

I never think about it. There are other past relationships or encounters that are MUCH more vivid in my mind than that one.

[DylanNotorious]

Nope, I don't really remember it to be honest lol

[Alpine]

I've pretty much forgotten it. I remember the person, I don't really remember the moment. I rarely think of the person and can't really remember being with them or ever imagining being with them again. It's completely irrelevant and insignificant to my life!