I want to save my relationship and get her back

[bish0p2004]

My big question is " Does she still love me?" - I think this will clear all my doubts/queries - After getting this answer I will be at peace.

 

If she was still IN love with you (that is to say, romantically), you guys would still be together.

[harsh284]

If she was still IN love with you (that is to say, romantically), you guys would still be together.

 

You mean to say that those who are in love never break up and also break up does not happen between those who love - I do not agree - That means most of the break-ups will never happen

[bish0p2004]

You mean to say

 

No, I meant to say what I said, and you can disagree if you want...but your situation tells you everything you need to know about whether she is in love with you or not.

 

Ignore it if you want though, the answer will come to you eventually.

 

One last thing, if you believe that she is still in love with you, but she is just hiding it...then ask her.

 

If she says yes, ask her to hang out. If she says yes to both, ask her to get back together. If she says yes...then you have your answer then because if she's IN LOVE with you, she won't reject you.

[harsh284]

No, I meant to say what I said, and you can disagree if you want...but your situation tells you everything you need to know about whether she is in love with you or not.

 

Ignore it if you want though, the answer will come to you eventually.

 

One last thing, if you believe that she is still in love with you, but she is just hiding it...then ask her.

 

If she says yes, ask her to hang out. If she says yes to both, ask her to get back together. If she says yes...then you have your answer then because if she's IN LOVE with you, she won't reject you.

 

Why is everyone here trying to convice me that its over - Fine I am convinced that it is over and she is not getting back forever - Now I dont think even NC will bring her back but I will not contact her now - I am back where I was 2 months back

 

And ur right if she loved me or wanted to get back, she would have contacted me or approached me in someway by now -- I can see no signs of her coming back - NC is just about coincidence - She probably wanted an excuse to dump me that is why she stopped talking to me for no reason - I agree I am a fool thinking she will be back someday -- and probably she never loved me

[Outshined]

Why is everyone here trying to convice me that its over - Fine I am convinced that it is over and she is not getting back forever - Now I dont think even NC will bring her back but I will not contact her now - I am back where I was 2 months back

 

And ur right if she loved me or wanted to get back, she would have contacted me or approached me in someway by now -- I can see no signs of her coming back - NC is just about coincidence - She probably wanted an excuse to dump me that is why she stopped talking to me for no reason - I agree I am a fool thinking she will be back someday -- and probably she never loved me

 

 

I think everyone is trying to tell you that you have to be prepared for it to be over.

 

NC, first and foremost is for YOU.

 

And from what I have read..............you need to get back to YOURSELF.

I know how you feel, really I do.

I dont even know you and what I want for you is to feel okay again.

 

NC is going to help you do that, better, faster and more completely than anything.

 

Once you can step back and objectively look at yourself and the relationship in it's entirety....the better off you shall be.

[harsh284]

I think everyone is trying to tell you that you have to be prepared for it to be over.

 

NC, first and foremost is for YOU.

 

And from what I have read..............you need to get back to YOURSELF.

I know how you feel, really I do.

I dont even know you and what I want for you is to feel okay again.

 

NC is going to help you do that, better, faster and more completely than anything.

 

Once you can step back and objectively look at yourself and the relationship in it's entirety....the better off you shall be.

 

I am on NC only but i am confused - there is so much mixed advice - as days pass by "her getting back to me" seems all the more unrealistic - probably its over and there is no point keeping any hope - I feel like crying at this stage - I feel so helpless - She never discussed what exactly is the thing because of which she wants to end it - I feel so pathetic

[Outshined]

I am on NC only but i am confused - there is so much mixed advice - as days pass by "her getting back to me" seems all the more unrealistic - probably its over and there is no point keeping any hope - I feel like crying at this stage - I feel so helpless - She never discussed what exactly is the thing because of which she wants to end it - I feel so pathetic

 

 

Yeah sometimes too much advice is just that..............too much.

You are overwhelmed.

Especially with your emotions.

But ya know what............thats okay.

You are hurting................thats okay.

You feel like crying..........then cry, get it out.

And the crying is okay too.

 

Hope is a funny thing. I say keep the hope.....but keep it realistic.

A life with out hope, in my opinion, isn't much of a life.

As it stands right now you have a 50/50 chance.

So there is your hope.........its even money.

And no one, and I, mean no one,

not me, not you and especially not her.........right now can tell you otherwise.

 

So you have to live for yourself.........you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. You are not pathetic.............but you are feeling pathetic.

 

Don't lose hope..........but dont be a fool.

 

Pray to God........and row for the shore.

[bish0p2004]

Why is everyone here trying to convice me that its over - Fine I am convinced that it is over and she is not getting back forever - Now I dont think even NC will bring her back but I will not contact her now - I am back where I was 2 months back

 

And ur right if she loved me or wanted to get back, she would have contacted me or approached me in someway by now -- I can see no signs of her coming back - NC is just about coincidence - She probably wanted an excuse to dump me that is why she stopped talking to me for no reason - I agree I am a fool thinking she will be back someday -- and probably she never loved me

 

I haven't read this entire thread, but from this post, I can see that you are simply using NC as a means to win your ex back.

 

People are not robots, not everyone is going to respond the same to the "techniques" you use...even NC when it's used as a tool to when your ex back. It is not a scientific method that guarantees your ex will come back. No matter how you act, YOU can't change how people will feel about you. So yes...NC is about coincidence because no one but your ex knows whether or not she will come back to you.

 

Not your friends or family, not your ex's friends or family, not me, and not anyone else on this board. Only your ex knows.

 

So, what can you do? Focus on you and improve your own life. She's already told you what she wants (and why you want to go back to that is beyond me...but whatever, it's your choice). So, focus on getting a career that's better than hers and maybe she'll take you back.

 

P.S. Damn, Outshined beat me to the punch.

[harsh284]

Wish I could read her mind

[Outshined]

Wish I could read her mind

 

No, you don't.

 

She doesn't even know what really in her mind right now.....and I would bet that deep down you don't either.

Time, my man.......its gonna take some time.

[Ms Darcy]

You have gotten some really great advice. Are you hearing what people are telling you?

 

I would also add that NC in and of itself probably is not going to make you feel better. It's about moving your life forward. What do you want to do? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to advance in your job? If you answer, "well she wanted me to ..." then you are missing the point. It's about YOU and what goals that YOU have in your life. You need to figure that out for yourself.

[thekid55]

Start dating other women. Or at least start being in the company of other women. I'm not saying take them to bed or anything, but really, start dating other women. See how other women compare to her, even if it's just friendly. Word will probably get back to her in some fashion that you are 'dating' or hanging out with other women.

[harsh284]

Start dating other women. Or at least start being in the company of other women. I'm not saying take them to bed or anything, but really, start dating other women. See how other women compare to her, even if it's just friendly. Word will probably get back to her in some fashion that you are 'dating' or hanging out with other women.

 

No I dont want to get into another relationship to get over the pain - I cant cheat on her - I also dont want to make her jealous as that will drive her away permanently - And she has no way of knowing what I am doing - She would not know how I have changed - Also I am not looking for a relationship for the sake of it, I know she is the right person for me and I want her only

[gallop30]

harsh,you do whatever u think is best for you,don't listen to us.

you don't owe us anything ,but you sound very very confused.

"I cant cheat on her - I also dont want to make her jealous as that will drive her away permanently - And she has no way of knowing what I am doing"

does that make sense ?

[harsh284]

harsh,you do whatever u think is best for you,don't listen to us.

you don't owe us anything ,but you sound very very confused.

"I cant cheat on her - I also dont want to make her jealous as that will drive her away permanently - And she has no way of knowing what I am doing"

does that make sense ?

 

I am not accusing you, infact I appreciate all the help offered to me and I am greatful for that - I just want to discuss my case and want different perspectives - Yes, I am confused - But I also dont want to do anything which I dont believe in and that may ruin my chances completely forever - By playing games with her I would only drive her away - I am mentally not prepared to get into another relationship - You may be right that it will help me deal with the pain - But I also dont want a short term solution and I dont want to do anything which is morally wrong

[gallop30]

bro,just leave that girl alone and go do something else. life's not only about relationships.

[thekid55]

No I dont want to get into another relationship to get over the pain - I cant cheat on her - I also dont want to make her jealous as that will drive her away permanently - And she has no way of knowing what I am doing - She would not know how I have changed - Also I am not looking for a relationship for the sake of it, I know she is the right person for me and I want her only

 

Where did I say anything about getting into another relationship? Dating doesn't mean a relationship and plus, if you are single, she has no right to tell you what you can and can't do. Women want what they can't have, but really, really want what they thought they had, but now don't. You still have her on a pedestal and until you take her off, there's no chance that you will get her back. At the end of the day, she's just a woman.

 

So going out with a hot, single woman is not an option for you right now? If you pass up that opportunity, send her my way.

 

You think it will drive her away, but in reality, it'll make her realize what she's losing.

[bish0p2004]

No I dont want to get into another relationship to get over the pain - I cant cheat on her - I also dont want to make her jealous as that will drive her away permanently - And she has no way of knowing what I am doing - She would not know how I have changed - Also I am not looking for a relationship for the sake of it, I know she is the right person for me and I want her only

 

Well, you are not in a relationship anymore so you aren't cheating.

 

I really hope you find your way one day and see that life does extend beyond your ex. I remember my very first break up and how I handled it....it was a horrible experience for me. But then again, I didn't know what I know now. Also, while I didn't handle my most recent break up very well, I was still able to move passed it with a better mind set than my first because of what I've learned through the years.

 

So, I wish you luck in your healing.

[gallop30]

hey Harsh,if you want me to take your hand like a baby,just let me know.

i wont change any g...n diapers though.

 

smile

[harsh284]

hey Harsh,if you want me to take your hand like a baby,just let me know.

i wont change any g...n diapers though.

 

smile

 

I am trying to move on for now though I do want her back - But I am not planning to get into another relationship for sure - i will probably try keep myself involved in some work or some hobby aand just try focus on myself - Thanks everyone -

[gallop30]

why do you want her back? because you can't live without her? because you can't be happy without her?

why?

just answer this and i'll answer you back

[thekid55]

I am trying to move on for now though I do want her back - But I am not planning to get into another relationship for sure - i will probably try keep myself involved in some work or some hobby aand just try focus on myself - Thanks everyone -

 

You can't expect her to change until you change.

[harsh284]

why do you want her back? because you can't live without her? because you can't be happy without her?

why?

just answer this and i'll answer you back

 

No that is not the reason - I can live without her but I may not be happy without her - Thing is she was right person for me - I could connect with her and she could understand me - We were like pals - I miss her in my life - I liked her simple nature and everything about her except her anger

[harsh284]

You can't expect her to change until you change.

 

I dont want to force her - and I have changed a lot - I can feel the change - I am more patient and more in control of my emotions - I dont impose anything on her

[thekid55]

No that is not the reason - I can live without her but I may not be happy without her - Thing is she was right person for me - I could connect with her and she could understand me - We were like pals - I miss her in my life - I liked her simple nature and everything about her except her anger

 

You need to fix this.