I want to save my relationship and get her back

[harsh284]

How would she know that I have changed a lot and improved a lot and that I have a plan in life and I am the right guy unless she contacts me???

[Ms Darcy]

What is your purpose in life? What goals to you have for yourself? How are you going to work on your self-esteem?

[harsh284]

My mind is going crazy- I seriously dont knw if I have any goals in life - I am getting confused more and more - I have got addicted of her

What is your purpose in life? What goals to you have for yourself? How are you going to work on your self-esteem?

[Ms Darcy]

Well that's what you need to focus on first. I wouldn't want anyone back who didn't have himself together. Start working on that first.

[harsh284]

May be you are right - I will work on that - but do girls come back? I feel that they are really headstrong and more strong willed than guys

Well that's what you need to focus on first. I wouldn't want anyone back who didn't have himself together. Start working on that first.

[Ms Darcy]

Girls never come back. They are from a different species than men and they eat their young.

 

No need to generalize, every situation is different.

 

It's pretty obvious that you are messed up right now and the last thing you need to do is worry about her. You need to get yourself together.

[harsh284]

Sorry to have offended you - I am not just thinking straight - may be I just need some time alone for myself to think and get myself together - Thanks for your advice !!

Girls never come back. They are from a different species than men and they eat their young.

 

No need to generalize, every situation is different.

 

It's pretty obvious that you are messed up right now and the last thing you need to do is worry about her. You need to get yourself together.

[Ms Darcy]

Honey, you didn't offend me. I'm exaggerating to make a point, which is that even though it's hard try not to worry about her. Worry about you.

[harsh284]

Yes - you are right- I have become more of a sympathy seeker - I think I need to get up and take control of myself

Honey, you didn't offend me. I'm exaggerating to make a point, which is that even though it's hard try not to worry about her. Worry about you.

[Ms Darcy]

Are you getting exercise everyday? You need to make sure to do that.

[harsh284]

yes i am trying to - though I miss in between - Have u gone through a break up yourself because you u seem to be a really balanced and mature person

Are you getting exercise everyday? You need to make sure to do that.

[Ms Darcy]

I have gone through three. The first took me 7 months to get over; the second three months; the third about a day (I was the dumper though).

 

It's no doubt that you are at the stage where losing love really hurts and I understand it. The sooner you can get yourself moving and active, the easier healing will be.

[harsh284]

Hmm!! did you never think of getting back with your ex after break up?

I have gone through three. The first took me 7 months to get over; the second three months; the third about a day (I was the dumper though).

 

It's no doubt that you are at the stage where losing love really hurts and I understand it. The sooner you can get yourself moving and active, the easier healing will be.

[Ms Darcy]

Hmm!! did you never think of getting back with your ex after break up?

 

I thought about getting back with the two who left but not about the one I left. I was pretty much done with that.

[harsh284]

Your views make me a little nervous!!

[Ms Darcy]

Your views make me a little nervous!!

 

Sorry, just being honest. But again, don't worry. Focus on you here buddy. I in no way represent your ex.

[harsh284]

Hmmm!! I would really want to meet you someday for all the advice

Sorry, just being honest. But again, don't worry. Focus on you here buddy. I in no way represent your ex.

[Ms Darcy]

Well that's very kind of you to say and I appreciate it. My advice is to get up now and get some exercise for today. You'll feel accomplished afterwards.

[harsh284]

I feel I have messed a lot and my situation is really worse - Is there still a chance that she will come back

[harsh284]

I feel I have messed a lot and my situation is really worse - Is there still a chance that she will come back

Well that's very kind of you to say and I appreciate it. My advice is to get up now and get some exercise for today. You'll feel accomplished afterwards.

[thekid55]

Not until you start distancing yourself.

 

You may think it's the wrong thing to do but seperation creates interest.

[harsh284]

Not until you start distancing yourself.

 

You may think it's the wrong thing to do but seperation creates interest.

But separation for how long? I am ready to wait but for how long - Is there a timeframe - It is already 40 days since we broke up - More separation may result in her forgetting me forever and she might think that I have also moved on and so even if there is some hope she will also move on

[Bobbadoo]

But separation for how long? I am ready to wait but for how long - Is there a timeframe - It is already 40 days since we broke up - More separation may result in her forgetting me forever and she might think that I have also moved on and so even if there is some hope she will also move on

 

This is the mistake a lot of people think about when disappearing. They think the ex will forget about them and never talk to them. The ex will not ever forget about you if they spend a significant time of their lives with you so keep that in mind. Now they can MISS you but how can they miss you if you're always there? You want them to miss you because thats when they will be thinking about you and thats your goal. Don't just use this separation to get her back either. Use it to get over her and move on with your life. If you sit around and wait, it will only drive you nuts and not only that, when your ex does contact you to catch up, you will be just as interesting as when you two have broken up and thats a bad thing.

 

Go out and have fun during this time of separation and next thing you know, you will have plenty of options to choose from and it will make you more attractive and pull your ex even closer.

[harsh284]

What if she never calls back - Shouldnt I try once to check if she is interested and just because of ego or something not contacting me

[Bobbadoo]

Give her 3 - 4 months. If she does not contact you then you can go back in and send a whats up text or something. I would not worry about it. Right now you guys are broken up and the best thing to do is get over it. If you dwell on whether she will contact you or not will only hinder your healing process. Don't think negative thoughts like "oh she will forget about me" or "she will never call me". If you two had something very special then believe that she WILL contact you.

 

Right now I would mainly focus on what you're doing then what she is. Remove her out of your head, pick yourself up and begin to make improvements on yourself.

 

Ya it hurts to do this. A month ago I came to these forums looking for answers to get my ex back and all I got was move on, or forget about her. I did not want to accept it because I did not want to move on but I realized it was the best way to get my ex back. Have I got her back yet? No not yet as the break up is still fairly fresh and I made a few mistakes already set me back a few weeks. Do I believe I can get her back? Of course, since our relationship was full of love.

 

You just to be patient and go through all this pain. You will be even stronger afterwards and when she does contact you she will see it too. So keep that in mind. Do not check up on her it will only show her neediness and it will not make her miss you.

 

Keep this in your mind, she needs you in order to forget you.