Amusing Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 To what extent would you go to be with the one you truly, deeply loved? The one who you think you'll be with forever? Would there be any deal-breakers for you or would you overlook almost anything to be with that person? Link to comment
SemperRogue Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I'd marry her and give her all of me as long as the sea roars and the sun soars. Nah, I'd moderate it a little. If she MUCKED around, then not so much of me around. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I would go to Nebraska. I hate it there. So boring. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 There are always deal-breakers... I think realizing that there are deal-breakers is important when it comes to having relationships. It makes you look honestly at your relationships and make sure that it's truly best for you and you aren't getting walked on. I bend over backgrounds to help my boyfriend but I know that he does the same for me. No matter how much I loved someone, things become unequal and someone gets resentful when someone is doing all the legwork and the other person doesn't lift a finger, not because they can't, but just because they won't for whatever reason. Reciprocation is key! I also don't tolerate it when the one that I love disrespects me or treats me badly. I don't mean them being in a bad mood once in a while (my boyfriend is a grouch in the mornings and when he's ill) but I mean them being outright disrespectful and never stopping it. Also, if someone wanted me to do something that was against my values or my heart ("dump your friend, I hate her!" "make this guy jealous for me." "Go steal me this") then I'd be upset and would seriously reconsider the relationship. Just because I love someone a ton and want to be with them doesn't make the relationship "immune" to any of these critical dealbreakers. Link to comment
mybunnyslipperz Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Your question is quite vague. Are you with this person now and wondering what deal breakers there might be in a relationship or are you trying to start a relationship with them? Personally, I would climb mountains and swim oceans to be with the one that I loved - as long as I knew that love would be reciprocated. If I were already in a relationship with someone, whom I loved deeply, I would endure a lot but there are always "breaking points". I would not put up with repeated abuse of any kind (cheating, physical violence, lying, etc...). You have to realize what you value in a relationship and what your limits are - no matter how much you "love" someone, if they are not reciprocating that love, then what's the point of being with them? Sometimes it's better to love them from afar... and not be in an active relationship with them, especially if its detrimental to you. Link to comment
Amusing Posted October 29, 2010 Author Share Posted October 29, 2010 Your question is quite vague. Are you with this person now and wondering what deal breakers there might be in a relationship or are you trying to start a relationship with them? Thanks for your reply. I love this guy dearly and he likes me as well, but he is Catholic (really faithful) and I am Jewish (really faithful) - just wondering if we could ever be together. Religion plays an important role in both our lives, but I think trying to start a relationship might do more harm than good... I don't know... Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Thanks for your reply. I love this guy dearly and he likes me as well, but he is Catholic (really faithful) and I am Jewish (really faithful) - just wondering if we could ever be together. Religion plays an important role in both our lives, but I think trying to start a relationship might do more harm than good... I don't know... I think you're right. Link to comment
ImGrowing Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Thanks for your reply. I love this guy dearly and he likes me as well, but he is Catholic (really faithful) and I am Jewish (really faithful) - just wondering if we could ever be together. Religion plays an important role in both our lives, but I think trying to start a relationship might do more harm than good... I don't know... This is not the first time I've seen religion divide people instead of unit them. I don't know how that's a good thing Link to comment
Callacova Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Like others have said, I would bend over backwards and always be there for that person. The caveat though is that they must feel the same way about me. I think that everyone deserves an agape-style of love Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Religion doesn't have to divide you. If you are both tolerant of each others' religions and can come to an agreement on how to raise future children, then it doesn't have to be an impasse. For example, if you both go to worship regularly, you can go to yours on Saturday and his on Sunday. Or, many temples and churches offer alternative services other times during the week. You can go alone or separate. A lot of multi-religion families choose to teach their children both faiths and let them decide for themselves when young adults (no pressure of course). Or, you could just combine the two religions and focus on the doctrines and traditions that are similar. You just have to support each other and your beliefs. Don't make it "my beliefs and your beliefs" but treat it as you would if you were sharing a house...it's all the families beliefs and we respect and take care of everything. Link to comment
babybees Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 the down side of this combination religions for the kids is it will confuse them. Especially jewish and catholic are so the opposite from one to another. You should really talk about it very seriously before you get married and have children. Religion is always a sensitive case between couple. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 the down side of this combination religions for the kids is it will confuse them. Especially jewish and catholic are so the opposite from one to another. You should really talk about it very seriously before you get married and have children. Religion is always a sensitive case between couple. I do think it's important to talk about it, especially if you want to have kids, because one parent may want to raise them differently than the other would! Just wanted to add though that as long as the parents are okay with it and each other, it's fine to have kids when they are of different religions. My mom is completely different from my mother, but they discussed how to raise kids and I grew up going to a Methodist church. My father talked to me a lot about different religions and "some people believe this" and I can honestly tell you, I wasn't really confused, I just grew up thinking "hey everyone believes different stuff, it's cool" I was confused about other things, but not that, lol. Link to comment
AmericanHuney Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I would never forgive infidelity....everything else could be discussed. But there isn't anything I wouldn't do for the man I love, nothing. Link to comment
Amusing Posted October 29, 2010 Author Share Posted October 29, 2010 the down side of this combination religions for the kids is it will confuse them. Especially jewish and catholic are so the opposite from one to another. You should really talk about it very seriously before you get married and have children. Religion is always a sensitive case between couple. Thanks and yes, I agree. I really didn't want to turn this into a religious thread though, I was just curious to know what people who love each other would go through to be together even when things seem insurmountable. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 A strong religious belief wouldn't prevent me from loving someone. It could be a deal breaker as far as spending a life together though! (and most likely would be). Link to comment
theartofruin Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 A strong religious belief on BOTH sides is a difficult challenge. Sure, if you love each other, you can try and you may believe it will work out, but I'd be surprised. When you have kids what are you going to teach them? Right now, you might try and say "They have the freedom to choose what they want, I don't mind" but in reality that won't happen - you will both try pushing your doctrines on the child because you both believe you are right. In the past I have tried to date religious girls, because in theory it doesn't bother me and if I care about someone I can see past religious differences. But as the relationship develops, the person comes out of their shell. Recently I was with a Jewish girl who had her beliefs, but was quite moderate (she didn't eat kosher; didn't go to church or whatever) but after a few months she just went all militant. She was surrounded by people of her faith all day every day and it just rubbed off on her (or was pressured on her). By the time we finally broke up she had just gone nuts to be honest, and wasn't the girl I thought I loved. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 A strong religious belief wouldn't prevent me from loving someone. It could be a deal breaker as far as spending a life together though! (and most likely would be). For me religion is not a deal breaker...but religious hypocrites are....people who hide behind religion while lying and deceiving others is the dealbreaker. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 For me religion is not a deal breaker...but religious hypocrites are....people who hide behind religion while lying and deceiving others is the dealbreaker. Fair enough. My experience has been somewhat like artofruin's. (though no particular case of someone's religion being the defining thing that comes between us or anything). It's just experience knowing that my being who I am, and what I personally believe, I am not compatible with someone with strong religious beliefs. I can admire them, love them, accept them - but not be compatible as far as sharing a life together. I guess what it comes down to is that common principles, beliefs, and values are important in longer term compatibility (uh, duh, right). I wouldn't want to deal with hypocrisy either, though. lol. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Personally I believe I went too far in my relationship in order to prove how much I cared, to make him happy, to show him I loved him. I would go to the ends of the earth for the person I love but only if it's 100% reciprocated. And that's tough to find. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Fair enough. My experience has been somewhat like artofruin's. (though no particular case of someone's religion being the defining thing that comes between us or anything). It's just experience knowing that my being who I am, and what I personally believe, I am not compatible with someone with strong religious beliefs. I can admire them, love them, accept them - but not be compatible as far as sharing a life together. I guess what it comes down to is that common principles, beliefs, and values are important in longer term compatibility (uh, duh, right). I wouldn't want to deal with hypocrisy either, though. lol. Yeah I totally agree. I don't care if they are a different religion but if they are strong in those customs/beliefs, we probably wouldn't be compatible because I'm not really into all the dogma. I've known several nice jewish guys that are moderate. Wouldn't have minded dating them. Link to comment
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