What is greatness?

[Jennyju]

Hello. I've been lurking for a bit, but everyone seems to give good advice. So thought I'd ask a question. It's a bit embarrassing.

 

As long as I can remember I've got caught up by fantasies about being "great." Actress, athlete, great chef, like that. (I'm not unstable, I do have a job.)

Some people say the only true greatness in life is love. But that's frustrating to me because some people are not easy to love at all and loving people, even friends is not always satisfying.

 

Is it true do you think that love is the greatest goal there is? If it is, why is it hard and what's the pay off? And do you think there are other things in life worth chasing after?

There are times I feel like my life should be better, with more "highs" and not so borinig. Does anybody else feel like this?

[k33]

I think love is super... but not true greatness. Greatness is being true to yourself and doing what you love because you love it. That is greatness for me anyway.

[k33]

...and unfortunately life is pretty boring most of the time.

 

I'm not sure why love is so hard, or heck why life is so hard. But those really fantastic days is what we should all hold on to.... ya know?

[neewollah]

It is all a lot of oysters but no pearls (Counting Crows)

 

 

 

I really doubt life is really worth it, we just try to hold on to the FEW good things about it, idealize some goals and dream.

 

 

But is it really worth it for the few freaking good things? I think I have enough fingers in one hand to count those good moments of this year...

[Hannibal]

Love has a huge payoff in my eyes. The fact that you can be in a relationship with someone and be able to give yourself fully to them inturn for them doing the same.

 

I would also put happiness up there right beside love because without love I don't believe that anyone can truly be happy.

 

The ideas that you have about being great are just fine and dandy to have but you must question what exactly you want from these careers? It sounds like you attribute being famous to being great when there is so much more to being a great person then being famous.

[Celadon]

Hi Jennyju,

 

Hm, interesting question. I think greatness has to do with having a zest for life. Like one person already said, if you love what you do -- or do what you love -- then you'll feel great, and happy.

 

Some of these people that you want to be like have achieved these great things because they love what they do. I also think they've set goals and feel good about themselves for achieving those goals.

 

Even though their lives look great, you may not want to be doing what they're doing. Chefs work 12-14 hour days. Some famous actors are completely miserable.

 

So, I'd say, try to figure out what is possible to achieve in your life and go for it! Don't fantasize about the impossible, or you'll end up banging your head against the wall.

 

As for love, that's worth a separate post. Maybe you should get a pet. lol. just kidding.

[k33]

It doesn't have to be a career. Me I love to travel. That certainly isn't my job... Unfortunately.

[maharito]

eh...hm... Now, I'm the kind of guy who has never truly had a girlfriend (a couple attempts that spelled disaster)...so it's predictable what I'd say there. I'm intensely philosophical, and I preach balance to everything. And I live for truth, honesty, respect, courtesy, and mutual help. Oh, and I live in America, self-proclaimed high power of the free world.

 

I've seen folks throw their lives to a cause, and some are quite happy with this. (Many aren't--they wish to use the personal freedoms they find that they have...) People's satisfaction with life can be limited by how much they have to accommodate or subordinate to other people in their lives, even if those bonds with others are what help lead them to success or the spotlight. Folks can seek thrills or glory throughout their lives, trying everything they can to push their bodies, minds, spirits, possessions, and influence to the extreme...usually at a price to humanity. And there are a gifted few who, at the cost of passing up other achievements and experiences they might want, will devote themselves to some amazing, nigh-impossible feat.

 

Any of these folks can be happy. Any of them can be miserable. Any can be a hero, either sung or unsung. And any of them can be great in their own minds.

 

But soldiers, sermonists, simpletons, superstars, skydivers, synchronized swimmers, sin-seekers, and self-sacrificers tend to share a few personal traits. To me, the most significant of these is a desire to find...um, what's that word again?

 

I tell you, civilization did NOT make up love. Perhaps it made up the custom, and I'm sure it's made up its own range of definitions to accompany the various lives we lead. (Did we ever face so many issues with dating when/where marriages were arranged, or public romantic coupling wasn't supposed to happen unless the parents had already approved...?) With freedom, we are better able to define ourselves as individuals, and so we can also better define what things we would like to share with another human being.

 

I personally recognize that people can share all sorts of experiences, have interdependencies, embrace each other in various ways, live together harmoniously, and even share much of the same views of the world...and still be missing out on a few things. Love is different for every individual. I believe it's better found among people who are self-confident and live balanced lives. But perhaps, a core definition of a loving relationship is a mutual and completely sincere recognition that sharing that relationship is among the most important and valuable things a person can attain and should NEVER be betrayed. (Perhaps a greater love is yet to be found, but nothing justifies abandoning another love altogether.) It'd certainly be a lot easier if you only had one person to love...or if you decided to love Love...love God...or love everyone equally with no insistent preference... But the path is yours.

 

Greatness comes in many forms. Providing goods, services, inspirations to others...making your life into a worthy memorial...serving a cause YOU believe is great...developing and promoting freedom and personal independence...showing people faces of truth above the deceptions of the world... These are things people can do to make themselves a great part of the world, of humanity, of existence.

 

Finding love will probably be a great asset to any of these sorts of accomplishments. It only takes a bit of deep thought to recognize how such a bond with another human being will allow you to spread your great qualities to that other person, perhaps for the better balance of their own life.

 

In general, I believe living a balanced lifestyle (seeing and living both sides of every perspective--comfort and discipline, health and hardship, thrill and serenity) is the key to greatness. Some folks may end up doing this fine single. Others are practically fated to have another living under their roof.

 

Some good examples of great people may include Mother Teresa, Weird Al Yankovic, Richard Nixon, Queen Elizabeth I, Lee Iacocca, and my mother. But you probably know a few already yourself, because they have already influenced YOUR life!

 

-Cheers, and happy trails. Hope this helped!

[fantasia2004]

Being who you are without really trying and not letting anyone get you down or stop you from greatness.

[Jennyju]

Wow lots of great thoughts on greatness here! All of them are different but each is smart in its own way. Thanks everybody.

 

Hannibal I really like your definition of how love works and pays off. I never thought of it as sharing fully with another person. I'm not sure what I thought it was. Maybe trying to please the other perosn?

K33, don't give up on your dream. Maybe you can work in the travel industry? I appreciate your ideas.

Thanks, Maharito, for your thoughts. I'm glad to hear you don't believe in success at all costs. Balance IS important, I agree.

K8tie, you're right. I don't know if these people I admire are happy. But there's a happiness about them that catches me up.

 

Being who you are without really trying and not letting anyone get you down or stop you from greatness.

 

This really resonates to me. I don't feel like I have defined myself. I have let other people rule my habits and ways I do things. Even what I do sometimes. If you have more to say on this topic, feel free to post more. Thanks!

[kaboom1218]

To me greatness is achieving goals on a level few reach, surpassing expectations, defying the odds and exploring areas no (wo)man has considered or discovered. Just some random thoughts that first came to mind.

 

Peace,

'Boom

 

P.S. I like this forum. More positive and uplifting than some of the depressing relationship forums. I needed a change.

[Jennyju]

That's nice Kaboom! Thanks for sharing!

[ShySoul]

Love is important as it feels an emptyness and longing we all have. Real love is knowing you've met someone who truly understands you and appreciates you, evey part of you both good and bad. It's being with someone who motivates and challenges you to be your best. It's being with someone who is there for you and makes you feel better when your down. It's being with someone who gives you hope and makes your life worthwhile.

 

Greatness is staying true to yourself. It's doing the right thing when what's right isn't the easiest thing to do. I think being truly great means helping others and working to make the world a better place. If you've really made an impact in one person's life, you've done something great.

[guitarman]

You can be the smartest Scientist ....

You can be the fastest Sprinter ...

You can be the Greastest Composer ...

YOu can be the strongest man .... the bravest fighter .... most influential evangelist .... the richest tycoon ..... Does it mean you are the greatest of all?

 

How about being a Loving Father, a Passionate Lover, a Fillial Son, a Faithful friend, a benovolent Boss, deligent worker? Does it mean anything at all?

 

I guess the definition of sucess and greatest lies in the heart .... where no man compares ....

 

 

Glenn Fong

[Jennyju]

Real love is knowing you've met someone who truly understands you and appreciates you, evey part of you both good and bad. It's being with someone who motivates and challenges you to be your best. It's being with someone who is there for you and makes you feel better when your down. It's being with someone who gives you hope and makes your life worthwhile.

 

ShySoul, that's really lovely. Wish i could say i've had that experience, but in my relationships it seems like the love was very lopsided. It's sad.

 

Greatness is staying true to yourself. It's doing the right thing when what's right isn't the easiest thing to do. I think being truly great means helping others and working to make the world a better place.

 

Maybe greatness is also the belief that being who you are is a valuable thing. So is value something a person decides that he or she has? Or, is it a belief someone gains through experience?

 

Guitarman, you raise an interesting question. Is greatness measured by public success, outward success and acclaim? Or is greatness measured by inner success? I know i get tempted to chase after outward success. What do you think?

[guitarman]

Jenny Ju

 

I guess we can't really say any aspects of our life is more important than another. I believe in balance ..... when we talk about sucessful living ... it means sucess in all aspects of life. Norishment of the inner being is important for the soul ... it gives us direction and purpose in life. But achievement is important too .... what's the point of knowing what to do when you don't do it after all?

 

So i guess just when you want to be a good father ..... you got to be a good steward in what you do too. How can you bring happiness to a family when you are perpetually poor ... constantly in need? There's a saying which goes ... "Don't preach to a hungry man, just feed him". If you can't even meet basic needs .... how can you talk about anything above that?

 

I guess the main thing about sucess is to be satisfied ... to be happy. I believe in one thing .... if you are not happy where you are, it means it's time to move on. If you're a janitor in an office building and you are happy, you are sucessful. If you are a CEO and you are happy, you are sucessful.

 

But I don't believe anyone can be happy when they are lacking in certain aspects in life. How can a rich tycoon be happy when his family is a failure? Money is not everything. On the other hand, how can a poor man be happy when he's constantly starving? Money is important. But both the former and latter can never be happy without someone to love and care for.

 

So money is not everything, but money is important.

 

But Love is essential ....

 

Glenn Fong

[ShySoul]

Jenny,

 

I've yet to find that kind of love either, or anything close to it. But I'm a hopeless romantic and a dreamer. It's important to hope for something better so that we can withstand the sorrows of the present. Believe in and live like the world was what it should be to show it what it can be.

 

 

I agree, greatness is the belief that being who you are is a valuable thing. Value is something we all have and are born with. Experience can either make us either believe we are intrinsically valuable or can lead us to believe we worthless. If your around people who accept you and love you for you, your likely to believe your valuable. But if your around people who try to change you or constantly critcize and demean you, your less likely to see that value. That's why childhood and specifically our parents are so important. What your taught at an early age follows you for your whole life. Of course, in the end each individual has to make up their own mind. You can be loved and raised well but still hate yourself. Likewise, you can be hurt by everyone around you but still see youself as a special, unique person.

 

Money is important to the point where we can provide for basic necessities, e.g. food, clothing, shelter, and some recreation. But, in the end, were not going to be remembered for our job or salary. We'll be remembered for the kind of person we were.

[fantasia2004]

I love this post and what to me guitarman said earlier was the best .

 

keep it going thank god something different from the usual dribble.

[Jennyju]

Very insightful, Glenn and ShySoul. Thank you ...

 

I have been bandied about by the expectations of others for so long. My bad. Piecing together who I am has been the hard thing. ShySoul, you have vision. I hope to develop that myself.

 

I think valuing myself will start with accepting what my preferences are, from the small things in life to the big things. Then, pursuing and enjoying them.

 

Does anyone find role models helpful in their lives, as a way to aim for greatness?