Jennyju

thank you all! i'll try to improve in interrupting by using some of the techniques you suggest. i really was feeling badly about myself last night because i let people run over me with their talking. i am hoping that if i get better at interrupting, i will be able to 'defend' myself.

this may be a little odd, but i would love some advice on how to interrupt people who are going on and on and on. i'm a polite person, so i don't mind listening more than most people. but sometimes i let other people talk too much. it's like i can't figure out how to redirect the conversation so it's enjoyable to me too. at lunch my co-worker had to tell me a story about her uncle's business and i didn't really want to listen but i was the only one there so i had to stay for the whole story. later that afternoon the same thing happened with this other co-worker. i needed info from him, so i didn't just want to say "give me what i need" and run off. but he went on and on about some work stuff i really didn't care a twit about. as a result it was a waste of my time and i had to stay late at work. i must be afraid of being rude or hurting relationships with people. that's my problem. i don't feel right about making up some excuse to get out of there - but maybe i should get over it and just act like i've suddenly got an emergency. any advice? help please!

thanks for explaining things from your perspectives, computerguy and true heart! the friends thing is hard for me to understand. maybe it's different for guys? i have male friends who i do not find attractive. i also have male friends who are attractive, but are not my best friend because there's no personality chemistry. i would love to find a best friend that i am also attracted to. that would be my ideal! id' snatch him up heeheehee. i don't really get it that my ex would break up with me (his supposed best friend and someone he finds "sexy") and then go on to someone else. i don't mean to be dense, but what more does he want? what is romance, if not best friends plus attraction?

i was im'ing my ex bf tonight and he told me i'm his best friend. but he also said we shouldn't hang out together 'cause we'll be physically attracted to one another and that would be bad since he's got a gf. how come a guy can consider me his best friend and find me attractive but not be interested in getting back with me? does this mean he's attracted to her more? or was he saying we might be attracted to each other because he wanted to hear me say i would still be attracted to him? (i'm not.) wondering what everyone thinks....

Thanks, caliboy! You make some very good points. i appreciate your reply.

Do you ever stop to think about what other people have done in life or how much have self-confidence they have? And does that inspire you to get your game on? or do you feel defeated by it? It's odd. I grew up being pretty good at school. but once I started working and saw how other people were, I felt more that there's a lot of competition out there! at times I'm blown away when I think of really successful people. It's as tho they had a goal and they went for it. I haven't had a goal or a clue. How do you get inspired instead a feeling defeated?

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts and feedback. Special thanks for your encouragement, Scout, and long-term advice. I tend to I forget sometimes that just because someone has treated me badly, that doesn't mean that's all I'll ever get (or deserve) in life. I don't know where that thought first came from, but I do think it sometimes. They say that to express confidence, you should walk into a room like you own it. self up I guess it's time I do that in life as well. Let's hope for the best!

Thanks, gals, for the reminders. Sigh. I guess I've just been feeling trampled lately. I do need to restore my inner peace and regain my footing. Fantasia and RainaBabe, I appreciate your advice. I'll focus on my confidence, not my skin or waistline. And Cassie, thanks for caring! I appreciate knowing you're also thinking of doing something good for yourself. Hopefully I'll be able to get to the gym more often and get those natural highs to cheer me back up. Thanks you guys!

Hello and help ... ! I've been feeling down, way down. I've been feeling unattractive and depressed lately, even though I'm reasonably slim and have some attractive features. But I'm also 39 and past the "young and sexy" age, and someone I cared about deeply has started dating an attractive woman in her 20s. Whenever I think about him choosing her over me, I just feel like a dried up ol' prune. I feel like I can't "compete" in the area of sexiness, but that seems to be what men are looking for. I know that's a generalisation, but you know what I mean. It's like I can't win. I've started being a little resentful of my 20-something co-workers, because they have something I don't anymore, which I know is ridiculous. But that shows how I've been feeling ... I can't fight aging, and I can't fight what men seem to want. How can I get to have a better attitude about myself as a woman???? I need some advice and encouragement to get me out of this rut ... Thanks for your help...

Very insightful, Glenn and ShySoul. Thank you ... I have been bandied about by the expectations of others for so long. My bad. Piecing together who I am has been the hard thing. ShySoul, you have vision. I hope to develop that myself. I think valuing myself will start with accepting what my preferences are, from the small things in life to the big things. Then, pursuing and enjoying them. Does anyone find role models helpful in their lives, as a way to aim for greatness?

ShySoul, that's really lovely. Wish i could say i've had that experience, but in my relationships it seems like the love was very lopsided. It's sad. Maybe greatness is also the belief that being who you are is a valuable thing. So is value something a person decides that he or she has? Or, is it a belief someone gains through experience? Guitarman, you raise an interesting question. Is greatness measured by public success, outward success and acclaim? Or is greatness measured by inner success? I know i get tempted to chase after outward success. What do you think?

"Precious soul".... I like that a lot. You really are 2smart! Seriously. Thanks for giving me encouragement. I do forget I am a precious soul. Particularly when other people don't treat me like that. I think I'll write those words down and post it in my cubicle.

That's nice Kaboom! Thanks for sharing!

Wow s2s, you are an inspiration to me! I Do know that it is what I want. Can I ask which online service it was? You can pm me if you would want to keep it private.

Wow lots of great thoughts on greatness here! All of them are different but each is smart in its own way. Thanks everybody. Hannibal I really like your definition of how love works and pays off. I never thought of it as sharing fully with another person. I'm not sure what I thought it was. Maybe trying to please the other perosn? K33, don't give up on your dream. Maybe you can work in the travel industry? I appreciate your ideas. Thanks, Maharito, for your thoughts. I'm glad to hear you don't believe in success at all costs. Balance IS important, I agree. K8tie, you're right. I don't know if these people I admire are happy. But there's a happiness about them that catches me up. This really resonates to me. I don't feel like I have defined myself. I have let other people rule my habits and ways I do things. Even what I do sometimes. If you have more to say on this topic, feel free to post more. Thanks!