was it a good relationship if you think about the next person having sex with you ex?

[kinetic32]

I have read a few times on here and in life from other people that when you break up.. why do you think about them and someone else having sex?

 

the physical part of the relationship.. the thing someone else has, was that the best part to get envious over?

 

why dont people say " he/she left me and all i can think about is the 2 of them having a great time talking and really connecting"

 

instead it goes " they are probably screwing right now! like its nothing"

 

so my thing is... if its the knowing they are having sex with another that drives you mad... and nothing else about the person... was that person worth losing?

 

as where now he or she is gone... and the thing that sticks into your head is that someone else is enjoying said persons character.. comments.. personality... now wouldn't those be things to get envious about?

[Sparkly Eyes]

Because people do talking and connecting with many other people than their SOs. But sex is one thing that people in relationships only do with each other. You can never hide your SO's personality so nobody else can enjoy it, but you can do it to his penis.

 

No I don't think it means that the person was worth losing. It just simply shows how sexual jealousy can be more powerful that other types of jealousy.

[whes]

I don't think I can really control my reactions.. I can control what I do about them and how I deal with them, but I can't say "I'm just not going to be jealous of him sleeping with another girl." I just can't do that. But I can try to not think about it and not be nasty.

[SapphireNoir10]

I guess its just such an emotional thing for me, making love, that it hurts to think of them sharing that wonderful thing with someone else.

[LizzieD]

My ex once told me that he'd never want to get back together if I were to have sex with another guy. I am the dumper and he's the dumpee in this matter. You brought up an excellent point in this case, really.

 

I didn't have sex with another guy until I know he's dating/seeing someone else. In this case, he went for a vacation with his ex (before me) in August and I know that he won't hold himself back from having it with her. Instead of feeling jealous for him, I felt relieved. Maybe because I wanted him to find his happiness.

 

Happiness isn't happiness without the violin-playing goat.

[stay_positive]

I just think sex is one of the real connectors in a relationship, so having your ex have that connection just seems to hit a certain spot. Lately I haven't thought about my ex so this hasn't crossed my mind, but in all honesty, I couldn't care less about my ex having sex with someone new. I think that means I might be finally over him.... Awesome...

[Oneironaut]

Interesting question.

 

For myself, yes, the idea of him having sex with someone else is heart-breaking to me, but also the idea of someone else getting to enjoy his quirks, the way I did. I don't like the thinking of him being silly with another woman the way he was with me, and saying the bizarre-but-hilarious things he says. I am quite jealous at the idea of him sharing personal stories with her, the way he shared them with me, the idea of them having intense conversations about politics and religion and life in general, the way we did. So no, I'm not just unhappy about the idea of him being intimate with someone else physically...I'm very unhappy about the idea of him being intimate with someone else emotionally, as well.

 

Does that mean we had a "good" relationship? A lot of people I know would say no, as few of my inner circle were able to tolerate him. But it was damn good to me. ^,^;

[waveseer]

I don't think about the details, if he is having sex then at least one of us is.