kinetic32

E, so many times we came to this road. so many times.. I just couldnt do it anymore. i did everything for you and made each date special for you. you never showed appreciation for it. 2 years and you still couldnt commit.. 2 years. god im so mad at you for it sometimes.. and go ask another guy out to dinner and drinks.. you dont even have a drink with me no even on occasions.. then laugh at me when I try to talk to you about it.. But its ok. I forgive you. you are who you are.. and will always be that person, I realized you are not the girl for me. It hurt so bad to finally realize that. I told you how special my time was with you, I thanked you for the memories and I wished you the best. I told you that no one else could be like you..and even though i did love and respect you and your personality. it wasnt what was meant for me.. I wasnt happy.. and im sorry you left and didnt say a word.. a month now and still nothing. It doesnt matter now. Im moving on from you, Im ready to put it all behind me with no sadness and no regrets. Its ok now I am ok...and I know you are too I met you in highschool for 13 years i thought about you, for 2 years we were in love....and the fantasy that you were meant for me was true..but you werent meant as a lover..but a teacher I needed to find you to learn to be where i am now. and ill always be thankfull I took a shot and looked you up. goodbye sweetness may your life be filled with the granted dreams. J

perhaps it would help if you shared the poem?

I sit aside this flowing creek the sounds that linger.. a feeling so deep the fast past movement of a river that babbles the call of a songbird, looking for love. maybe a raven.. or perhaps a dove. a dragonfly brushes accross me. he flies.. his world limited by his wings. i thought i saw a turtle poke out his head. its actually some animal.. it looks like its dead. a few paces away lies a garden of wildflowers. theres a nice healthy tree.. he guards... An honorable giant i lay in the flowers and look into the clouds. i sit up to my knees i look to my left and see you. for a brief minuite I feel ok again.. just becuase your here. It was so nice to remember all the fun we had and all the time we shared. "Its where I belong you said" and I never forgotten but then everything became so horrible.. so rotten.. and since that day, the day you vanished. this darkness, the vile air.. into death ive been banished. out of anger I yell.. then i start to cry. I grasp my chest.. I keep asking.. over and over "why" Im sure Ill know the answer in my own time after I calm.. when the tears are gone. Ill never love another.. I promise! but your not here to hear that are you. your gone.... just me imagining again. such a scene to open your heart again.. the emerald brook, all these beautiful flowers.. arent they so lovely? and the tree. This mighty tree.. he watches over all thats here.. the wildlife sure to pay their respects. the energy that flows in this place.. full of magic and warmth. it still wont take away the pain.. it just wont go away.. im loney and empty.. Life has broken my heart My heart is truly broken.. I cant think anymore... I have to go now. I have to try to get through another day. I love you and will miss you. I brought you more flowers.. these are daisies. i know you like flowers.. but you wont take them. I miss you I Love you. *tears*

today i am so sad... the thoughts are thick today.. filled up with the emptiness you left behind. knowing you dont care.. only hurts more i tell myself it will be fine i know all it takes is wisdom and time. last night your friends talked to me about the end i didnt want to go over things... not again they said it wasnt my fault.. you were just hard to handle.. they all understood why i had to blow out the candle.. they all said its a shame it never should of happened... I hope it wasnt you that sent them to me... to see if i was happy and moved on.. or in utter misery i just want this done.. i want to forget.. you wasted my time and the love that i spent and a part of me hates you for it you selfish * * * * * No girl has ever done what you done or left in such a way it impacted me I suffered because of your problems your an * * * * * * * and in need of serious mental therapy and your a damn counselor ffs...

*****, Its been a week since i gave you up... you have said nothing to me not even when you found out i was done. i tried to talk to you and you wont answer and you wont write, or text or even just aknowledge what had happened or even say goodbye. i only imagine that its either that unhappy and destroyed you cant bear the thought of letting go.. or you just dont care. id like to think that its the first thing and this all meant something to you... but I know now why you are doing this and its the same reason i left. you are too stubborn and proud to admit that your hurt or even that you need anyone..even if you loved me deeply you would never break down your ego to fight for what you believe in...and its really sad..i told you that i will always love you and i did this cause theres too much going in your life with school you have no time for me anymore..and all it is doing is hurting me in the process. i hope one day you can forgive me for what i have done and understand why i did it. I leave you with this... I loved you more than life itself and was willing to do anything for you.. to support your every move and be there whenever you needed me even if it meant taking off in any hour of the night to come be by your side...and all i asked for in return is that you appreciated that and showed me you needed that from me.. and not have this i dont need anybody attitude. and you know why your like that its because your emotionally unstable.. you are so out of control with your thoughts and you have no idea how to deal with your mind in a healthy way i suffered for it..and that is why the last people you dated left you as well.. I wish you all the best.. i have never thought ill will of you and i never will. i cherrish and am thankfull for the time and memories we created togethor. and they will always be apart of my soul. I never wanted this I was not ready to let you go at all.. i will never fully recover from the loss of you.. you were my soul mate..sadly just at the wrong time in life. and we cant change that..Ill never be bitter and I will never turn my back to you if you ever needed me. all i ask for you is to learn that it is ok to need someone else.. and its ok to ask for help.. Ill never forget you, Ill always miss you, goodbye my sweetness with love always ******