I broke up with her. I'm concerned for her.

[knowtoomuch]

to care so much for someone, and be as kind as you are, your inner strength is incredible. I strongly admire that. It shows you are grounded and in-tune with yourself. Your level headed and sincere. Not only with your best interest at hand but hers as well (in the long run). You know I am that girl right now. And I have been for 3 or 4 days now. Your thread has helped me. Im not sure at this moment why but im sure it will come to me. Possible the reminder that time will make this all okay. And also the reminder others too have been though and got through the very same as im experiencing in this moment. Nothing surpasses the loneliness of being dumped, when you are the party who doesn't agree. but its human nature. There was a time when I was where he is at. A point of this is no longer what's best. but put the shoe on the other foot and it's like taking a fish out of water an instant grasp for air because life has just been pulled from you. and you cant begin to touch back on the feel of those shoes

[ny guy]

geez, she wants to talk face to face now. she promises she won't get upset or sad....she said she just wants to move on, but can't....

 

I know meeting up is a big mistake.....I feel so bad ignoring her, but I really do feel like I'm kinda past all of this now. I know she isn't, but what help can meeting up do?

[catfeeder]

geez, she wants to talk face to face now. she promises she won't get upset or sad....she said she just wants to move on, but can't....

 

I know meeting up is a big mistake.....I feel so bad ignoring her, but I really do feel like I'm kinda past all of this now. I know she isn't, but what help can meeting up do?

 

It can't help anything. Once you make a clean break, keep it. The only point in meeting is if you're clear that you want to reconcile. Anything short of that is mind-messing, and that's not 'helpful' to anyone who isn't in it for pure drama.

 

In your corner.

[Bheart]

I do give it up to you for your patience and kindness in handling the breakup. No doubt about that. But you sound like a wishy washy person. When time gets rough, you back out. Then, you change your mind and try to be happy. Then when things are happy, then you back out because you are unsure. Wishy washy it is. I would suggest you stop trying to be a "nice guy" and move on and leave her alone. B/c wishy washy people always try to be sooo "nice", when in the end, they are so damn confused, you just need to be with yourself and worry about you. B/c you are the one with the problem. She is 100% at giving it a try or trying to start fresh, and you are the one with the problem of being so unsure whether to stay, move on, move on and think about coming back, or wanting to date other girls.. you are too confusing to even deal with. Just cut off contact for both sake.

 

Sorry, I was not trying to be rude, but more like trying to get a point accross. I am in a situation with my ex bf who is slight undecisive/wishy washy. It's been 2 months since "he" broke up with me after 5 years. His way of "being nice" got on my nerves b/c I wanted "HIM" not "HIM trying to be nice to help me move on", get it? Eventually I made it very clear that he needs to DEAL WITH HIMSELF. I told him not to "worry" about me based on pity-ness, all it leads to is confusion on one side or both parties and to the dumpee, my ex was coming off as a false hope a%shole in my eyes b/c he was trying to be sooo nice. Either way to HER you are a a%shole for being wishy washy by breaking up with her anyways, so trying to be "there/concerned", its just making u look less a%shole ish. So I would just end it for good. Maybe, she'll respect you for not playing "games" if it gets to that level and actually wouldn't mind being friends or reconcile in the future if you plan to come back.

[ny guy]

You were totally right about me. Wishy washy, that's actually how I put it myself when I talk about it. Past two years at the end of the summer was when the wishywashyness came in. Even other times. Looking back now, even though it's only been a few weeks, I think I made the right decision. Love for someone should not be something forced or something you hope to be an eventuality that happens in time. I gave it the best shot, and I don't have any regrets about it.

[zip11]

sounds just like my ex-... @ the end things seemed to going well & she said she was really happy... a few days later she dumped me. she even told me & others that the relationship was always good and asked my friends to watch over me b/c she felt so bad about breaking up... she said she'd contact me in "maybe" 30 days, of course that didn't happen.

 

for the sake of both parties (you & her), just go NC already... explain it to her if you have to, but let that be the last time until... however long it takes.