Omg!!!!

[Eddie37]

The urge to contact her is driving me insane! I never wanted to contact her this badly earlier on in no contact. So why, almost 2 months down the road does the urge come so heavily?

 

I find myself scripting emails to her, fine tuning them, and holding my finger over the "send" button. What the hell is going on?! Why now?

[Eddie37]

All I can do is sit here and look at her picture and yearn to talk to her. This is horrible. No contact is getting harder and harder every day it seems. 56 days of no contact and this is how I feel? Give me a break, please, someone give me a break.

[DN]

Put her pictures away - ideally get rid of them. And every time you start composing something start doing something else.

[Eddie37]

I don't understand why now. Isn't this no contact crap supposed to get easier? Why now does the urge to contact her hit me so brutally? I hope she's feeling it too. I hope it's taking her everything she's got to stop from contacting me. I hope she's in pain...like I am.

[Cheetarah]

Yes, it does get easier. But like with anything, you're going to have ups and downs(more ups than downs as time progresses).

 

This is a great read here -

 

 

[TSandullo]

An 'NC' rule I would like to offer, particularly when the urge to do something is driven by raw emotion:

 

Do nothing.

 

Pull the plug from the machines.

 

NC starts of really hard. But staying in contact and burning slowly as she moves on will be even harder. Remember that before you hit the send button.

Remember that before she pics up the phone and you hear her soft voice.

Remember that when you arrive at her door, and she opens, looking at you with those eyes...

 

ride the waves my friend.

 

The storm will pass...

 

TS

[sonicfan287]

No, not nessecarily. Im 2 months past my breakup (or will be soon) and Im driving myself nuts. I'm not even doing NC per se, I never really texted her or anything anyway because she'd text me first. Now that she's not, I'm not gonna initiate it either, but she barely texts anymore and I just sit around desperate wondering whats keeping her so busy or why she doesn't care to bother. It gets worse, because you wonder why your ex isn't responding. You expect NC to draw a response from them and when you don't get it for longer periods of time, you get frustrated because you feel as if theyre moving on, but only they know the answer to that and you can't ask them, trust me on that one.

 

Hang in there, my friend, because it does get better. I know right now Im tempted to contact her because every friday night I am. That used to be our night together and even after the breakup, she'd contact me on fridays just to talk but now she doesn't even do that so I'm wondering what she is doing instead. Like I said, it gets better. I know how much pain it is, but you need to forget her, at least for now.

[Eddie37]

You expect NC to draw a response from them and when you don't get it for longer periods of time, you get frustrated because you feel as if they're moving on, but only they know the answer to that and you can't ask them, trust me on that one.

Yes! ](*,)

[Cloudy Days]

Post what you want to say on this forum, in a journal, on a piece of paper... whatever you do, stay strong.

[Maverick44]

You could always contact them. You just won't be thrilled at their response. It wouldn't be what you want. It may very well never be even with NC.

 

NC is for you to do your own things to get busy. Problem is that we don't ALWAYS have something to do to pass the time, right?

 

Best of luck,

 

Maverick

[tingkong]

I hear ya Eddie

[brandnewday47]

The urge to contact her is driving me insane! I never wanted to contact her this badly earlier on in no contact. So why, almost 2 months down the road does the urge come so heavily?

 

I find myself scripting emails to her, fine tuning them, and holding my finger over the "send" button. What the hell is going on?! Why now?

 

Hang in there Eddie, it takes time... sometimes a lot of it. Contacting now will pretty much set the clock back and you will have to start all over and go through this all over again. Think about if you want to be in the same position in three months.. it isn't fun I can promise you.

 

Post here as often as you need while you fight this...

[SWEET_J]

Actually, this makes total sense. I know healing is not a gender related thing, but I think it's typical for men to feel the breakup much later than women.I know for myself..I go through all the hurt pain and wthdrawals in the beginning..usually within a couple of months I start getting over it...I think guys tend to bottle it all up till it hits them.

JMO though...

[Eddie37]

Actually, this makes total sense. I know healing is not a gender related thing, but I think it's typical for men to feel the breakup much later than women.I know for myself..I go through all the hurt pain and wthdrawals in the beginning..usually within a couple of months I start getting over it...I think guys tend to bottle it all up till it hits them.

JMO though...

I think there's something to this. Although personally, I've tried very hard not to bottle anything up regarding this breakup. So anything that I did suppress was done so unconsciously. I think what sonicfan said earlier is relevant. I just figured she would have contact me by now, and the fact that she hasn't is really hard to handle and accept.

[SWEET_J]

Did she contact at all right after the breakup?

[Eddie37]

Did she contact at all right after the breakup?

Yeah, she did. She called about 5 days after she left and said she made a huge mistake. Then, the next day she emailed and said she shouldn't have called me and that I'm not the one for her. Then, two days after her email she sent another one saying how she wanted to come back....and I never responded. That was 56 days ago. Haven't contacted her since and she hasn't contacted me.

[SWEET_J]

Hmmm...are you ready to ask for her back or are you just feeling lonely?

[Eddie37]

I love her. So yes, I would take her back....most likely.

[SWEET_J]

Well...I would say unless you are ready to tell her all this, then anything else would be playing with her head, and just wrong. She made the last attempt and you ignored it...so it's probably in your court now.

[Eddie37]

Sweet, we were engaged. She came to me, handed the ring back and told me I wasn't the one for her. Then she left, drove 1000 miles back to her daddy's house. So...the balls in my court? She sent me 3 mixed messaged in the course of one week. "I don't want you"..."I do want you"...."I don't want you"....."I do want you". The ball is not in my court, it's in hers.

[SWEET_J]

Hmm..well you left that part out in your thread..LOL

 

What is it you want?

Do you know?

[Eddie37]

Yes, I know what I want. I want her. But, if you're asking "what do you want" on a more existential level, then, I dunno.

[MissyMolly]

I have been kicked in the shins HARD, over and over the past few months by breaking NC. Guess we all have to learn our own way. I did not pay attention to anyone telling me to maintain NC - I went ahead on my merry way, and I am still paying for it today. Good reminder on that post Mintiya:

 

"Someone who dumped you did not want to be with you. That fact alone is enough to make that person an unsuitable partner, even if the person was otherwise perfect."

 

Keep this in mind before you reach out to that undeserving person.

[Alcie]

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”

 

I say, stop wondering.

[Eddie37]

Thanks Alcie. I hate to sound like a little girl here, but I don't think I could handle knowing that she's with someone else. I don't think I could handle it at this point. If I contact her only to find out that she's happily moved on while I am here in pain, It would be a big blow to me. It would knock me back.