NC: how much time did it pass before your ex made contact with you

[black_man]

I am now on day 52 and no contact so far from my dumper ..

[mattguy]

5 months

i got a txt saying hey how ru doing. i didnt reply. if he dumps me he doesnt get to have me in his life in any ways

[Positive_Anonymous]

None have made contact with me unless I initiated!

[dancingcolors]

1 1/2 years. He showed up where I was working with the woman he dumped me for, and the first thing out of his mouth was" do I want to meet kathy". He said he came there on purpose to look for me. That was about 3 months ago, and he dropped back off the earth again after that.

[BellaStranger]

Never I hope.

[marshmlofluff]

Two months minus four days.

 

He dumped me over the phone. He asked if he could still call sometimes. I told him I appreciated the offer but no--and that if I ever felt like calling him again, I had his number. He was stricken. I clarified that he could call me again someday IF he changed his mind.

 

When he hung up the phone I went strict NC and did not speak to him again. Hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I held firm. Didn't call didn't write didn't even Google him. A dating anniversary went by...no word. Valentine's Day went by...no word. Every day, me aching and hoping and longing to hear from him.

 

I started to move on. Had a date or two. One Friday night I was out for coffee with a female friend. Came home and found a missed call from him on my land line (which has no voice mail.) Thought my phone had maybe burped out an old call--but it was a new one and it showed up on all my phones. Same time he'd always used to call. I started shaking. I was so glad I was out or I might have accidentally picked up; my bedroom phone doesn't have Caller ID. That night I bought a new phone.

 

I didn't need to, as he never tried again. I don't know what he wanted, and I may never know. I don't care, either--as I met a new guy who was twice the man, and forgot him.

[Carus]

I'm going to assume that by starting this thread, the OP is 'hoping' to hear from their ex...

 

Some Dumpers contact. Other are just gone and thats that....

 

This is why it is important to direct your thoughts and energy onto yourself...Fully!....One can never know what the ex is going to do...

 

Suffice to say, I think most here will agree that you really dont want to hear from them becoz 9 times out of 10 it results in nothing more than more pain and confusion for the one who was left....

 

My ex did contact me quite a bit in the early days of her split with me and her new RS with the other guy right up until the start of this year and the transference was complete....

 

All that did was relight that fire of False Hope over and over and dragged my healing out for wayyy longer than it should have...

 

Keep walkin' and be careful what you wish for*

 

Ever Forward

K2*

[hidden_kitten]

there was an ex who contacted me on msn about two years after I last saw him. I had actually deleted, rather than blocked, his contact details so I would never have to look at them again so he was still able to message me. I wish I told him to 'get lost' or worse to that effect when he messaged me, but instead I let the convo go far enough for him to say that he didn't actually want to see me again, just get some relationship advice cos I was his favourite of his exes. WHAT. Nae chance, I told him no and goodnight.

[black_man]

I dont know what i want any more.. I tought I was doing great but I went through some old email corespondece and that * * * * just brought all old memories back ... I and now I am crying like baby ..

 

btw ex before my current ex contactet me few day ago after 2,5 years LOL .. wants to grab a coffee or something ..

[Nana00]

My ex broke up with me even after I begged, pleaded, absolutely embarrassed myself. Exactly a month later he messaged me and wanted to get back together. We tried for a few weeks, I realized the relationship isn't for me anymore so I ended it with him. A week later he messaged me again asking why I haven't been online and what I have been up to. That was a few days ago.

 

Do you really want your ex to contact you and work things out? Look at all the problems in the relationship, they will still be there if you both decide to try again.

[dancingcolors]

Mine broke up with me because he wanted to date other woman, after over a year. Like a fool I took him back. 6 months later he broke up with me again, for a woman at work.

 

I think if they do it once, they will do it again. And he dropped out of sight, except for that one insensitive time he showed up with her. I am still getting over that.

[libertinered]

oh no there's not a single positive story here... nuts

[lucalicious]

^^^ lol to that comment.

 

27 days so far. so yeah... no contact.

I think i would still take her back, I dont know though.

But i KNOW she wont contact me so this will be easy. I just hope i dont see her in person...

 

I might see her previous ex before me of 2.5 years at LA fitness. I heard he started going there again. That should be fun >

[jimmajam]

The first time it was a month. I stayed completely away and out of sight and as soon as she got the opportunity she jumped on it. The second time it was a couple months. The last time... 6 1/2 months and eventually I broke it.

[lostnscared]

6 weeks. And now we are back together.

[shessofly]

almost 2 years to the day. he tried to add me as a friend on facebook and sent a brief message asking how i was. i ignored the request. i figured if he had anything important to say to me he wouldn't do it over facebook. he's tried nothing since and i'd like him to keep it that way.

[TSandullo]

oh no there's not a single positive story here... nuts

 

Positive, like many other adjectives displayed and plugged on these forums is a subjetive.

 

Assuming that many of us dodged a bullet when our exs broke up with us, wouldn't that be considered positive.

 

If perhaps a decade from now, we are all healed and truly realise that we are better off without our exs, wouldn't all the stories here be positive?

 

So, In my opinion:

GBT with EX: positive

EX away: positive.

 

Its all in the attitude and perception.

 

TS

[shessofly]

for me it is positive, because i was over him by the time he made contact. it was a very toxic relationship that i would have easily fallen back into had he contacted me a year or so earlier. sometimes we can't see that the end of a relationship is what was best for us until the fog has cleared.

[Cedric]

I went into NC on June 1st this year. 2 weeks later she called me, but I really think all she was looking was for me to cushion her fall after the break-up and be her "Training Wheel System" so to speak.

 

Did not meet her, only talked briefly. She did want to meet. I declined days after our phone call.

 

Since then... back in NC and have been there for 8 weeks. I feel great!

 

Focus on yourself. Have positive Thoughts and it will happen.

[SA2000]

1 week. I got a drunken call complaining about how I am a jerk for deleting her friends from Facebook. Then no contact for another week. Then I got a text asking for a closure talk. I told her I would prefer to work things out but that she should not call me otherwise. She called (drunk again) that night. She stopped by to say hi and said she was still thinking about how she felt and if she wanted to work things out. I reiterated the next day that I did not want to talk to her unless it was to work things out and that she shouldn't contact me. No contact since. Its been a few days. I will not accept another drunk dial. I may just ignore her weak attempts to get another ego stroke out of me.

[BellaStranger]

oh no there's not a single positive story here... nuts

 

Depends on your definition of positive... my loser ex... who I would have taken back in half a heartbeat 3 months after we had broken up is now 110% totally out of my and I can see him for the scumbag he is and hope never ever to hear from him again... totally positive in my book!!