Young people really dont know what love is....

[HSBoy44]

I am 16 years old and I see all these couples in high school that are supposedly "in love". You hear older people say to children that they dont know what love is and Id have to agree with them. I just see all these couples dating and of course all of them say they are in love but yet they have been going out for a grand total of 4 months!!! It annoyes me so much to hear all these ignorant kids saying that they are in love. You could call this pessimism but I think its the truth. I mean when youre in love doesnt that usually mean that you could spend the rest of your life with one another? I highly doubt it that any relationship in high school will succeed for life. You hear about them now and again but it doesnt happen very often. I just dont think these kids know what love is. What do you people think about young kids and love? Do you think they know what love is? Were you in truly in love when you were 15, 16, 17, etc? Did you ever think you were in love but now you know you never were at those ages? I would just like to see a different perspective on love from people who have had more experience. Thanks.

[melrich]

Hi HSBoy44,

 

Your problem is your underlying assumption...being in love means staying together forever. Love, like all other emotions is usually a passing phase (often a very long one). We are bought up on romanticised notions of love..that is is undying, that it is forever etc etc. Half the problem for people in love is trying to live up to what they think love should be. Well love as an emotion and a feeling can be as long as your entire life or as short as a day.

Of course teenagers can be in love...in fact some of the most passionate and strongest feelings you will ever have you'll have when you are a teenager. As you get older you tend to become far more pragmatic. And the feeling of love is what you feel at the time...it says nothing to the future and not much to the past. As you get older one of the things that you will learn is that your feelings in the present are real...you cannot think back and capture them and you cannot predict their intensity in the future.

[alissa]

I see exactly what you're saying. I guess whether someone truly loves someone else would depend a lot on how long they'd been dating, and the kind of people. I know of a few people that started going out one day and then all of a sudden I'd see written somewhere by one of them, "I love you, So-and-so!" Now that drives me completely nuts. Then on the other hand I see a few kids my age (one of them being my friend) that have been going out for a few years now, and I think they are able to say they know what love is because they've been through a lot and had their relationship ups and downs, but stuck together through it all.

 

Very good point, though, in the first reply. I have to agree with that, too.

[mephesto56]

You sound a little bitter. Have you had a bad experience? I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He is my first and only boyfriend so far, and I am his first and only girlfriend. We've had ups and downs, but I know that I love him. I do, however, know what you mean. Sometimes kids will date for 3 weeks and say "I love you" in their AIM buddy profiles and its nonsense.

[mysteryman]

im 14

i think love can occour at a early age, read annabel lee by edgar allen poe it talks of young love.. and most doesnt last but some does.. kinda like ur first car.. its good but it eventually breaks down u get a new one and then some more and finally get a car u love and like and keep.. dont be so pesamistic.. im sure you were one of those kids one day and if u werent ... yes i like girls and sometimes think i love them.. but some times ppl do it for attention and immaturity.... chill out

 

mysteryman

[Lily04]

hmm..didn't Romeo & Juliet fall in love when they were 16? Of course things were different back in that era, but I still think love is possible..it depends more on maturity, and how long they've been dating I think. A good relationship takes commitment & a good understanding of your significant other, and that is hard to develop at a young age, which is why love usually blossoms in our society at a later age, when maturity can underline it.

 

An interesting, related question would be: can 'love' only occur with one's soulmate? or 'true love' (as it differs from 'love')? But people have many loves in their life, I find the prospect of finding the 'true' one quite perplexing: how do you know? what is that supposedly incredible feling that distinguishes it from all else? I don't know yet..

 

In general, I would say 16 yr olds don't experience love (lust yes, not love). But it's not necessarily impossible. One of my best friends met her boyfriend at a young age (I think at 15/16) and she's been with him for 4 yrs now, and were planning on getting engaged..although they recently broke up. She said that she experienced love, but when did that transition happen from mere interest/infatuation/whatever came before? It's hard to tell.

 

And I know what you mean about some people saying they've been in love after only dating for like a month..I think it's possible. Perhaps. Maybe some fall in love more quickly than others. It's hard to determine this because the very definition of love varies and it's an intangible concept. The fact that those people who married after one month stay together for the rest of their lives may give credence to the view that love is able to develop quickly. On the other hand, someone can argue it developed afterwards. I don't know..I'd love to research something like this though

[sprkal]

Maybe our definition of love changes as we grow. If it feels real to the person at the time, then I think it should not be ridiculed. My conception of love is very different from when I was 14, because of how I've grown as a person through experience in relationships and with people. But that doesnt mean that it was any less real. Its an emotion - and perhaps used far too freely these days, but hey, I dont think there's enough love in our world.

[piscesprincess]

What do you think love is? At 17, you already have a fixed point of view on the word L-O-V-E. I agree that younger people say "I L---- you" too quickly. However, there is such thing as young love: it could last (it may not). Sometimes, people are mature beyond their years.

 

I know people 30, 40, 50, who never find true romance b/c they are bitter from past experiences. many people would like to go back in time to see things as pure as a teenager. Just enjoy life. Love will come your way, I guarentee.

[EmptySoul]

i understand where everyone comes from, saying you cannot fall in love so young. and i realize that i'm not that old...but i'm almost 15 and i've grown a lot and learned a lot of things since i fell in love at 13. i still believe i was in love, it was an oblivious kind of love, and it was painful, and lasted a long time. it still hurts every day.

i believe there are different kinds of love, with different strengths. that is my opinion and everyone is intitled to their own.

 

EmptySoul

[.hEArT bRoKeN.]

i think kind of the same as you. i believe they think they are in love cause maybe they have never really felt that strong about anyone before but what has age got to do with any of it the young (like me and you) are just as aware of our feelings as the old maybe even more. I believe that no one is ever 100% sure what love is. how can you even be sure they are not in love as you have never been yourself. Maybe these people are in love maybe they arent but what you got to ask yourself when you hear them say it is why do they think they are in love what makes them think they are not just mistaking it for a good friendship

[emmykins]

TRUE love can only occur when your emotions are mature enough. However, there are different levels of love, and you can love your boyfriend/girlfriend at any age.

 

I don't believe you can fall in love (meaning 100% true love-of-your-life kinda stuff) until your emotions are mature enough - although people's emotions mature at different rates, depending on their experiences etc.

 

When you're 14 and saying you're in love with your boyfriend, what you mean is that you love him - you care about him, he means something to you. Which is sweet, but it isn't the overwhelming passion of true love.

 

BUT I disagree with the original post that says "they've only been together for 4 months" - you can fall in love well within that time... within weeks, in fact - you can certainly be besotted/infatuated within days!

[sasha505]

hmm..didn't Romeo & Juliet fall in love when they were 16? Of course things were different back in that era

 

Last time I checked... Romeo and Juliet were fictional characters AND ended up dead because of their foolish, idealistic view of love.

 

Kinda a poor example.

[boo1213]

Ahh I really don't agree with you at all. I myself am only 15 and I know I've never been in love, but I have had really strong feelings before. Love is a feeling. You can get it at anytime just like any other feeling. It's not something that is supossed to come at a certain age or is set to come at a certain age. It's a crazy thing no one ever understands. But you should never say young people can't be in love, because its not something like puberty that is supossed to start coming at a certain age. There's to many people and stories out there that started love at a young age.

[Mun]

I think each person's feelings should be respected whether they are 13 or 30. As a young person sometimes you feel those intense feelings and they are your whole life, how can someone not validate that?

 

Just because someone is young doesn't mean their "love" is not real, it is real to them and that's what matters.

[ShySoul]

Most teenagers have no idea what TRUE love is. Actually, I would say most people don't really understand what love us. I see too many people acting like their in love and everything is perfect when that's obviously not true. I would people are in love with the idea of being in love. They think that they need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy or that it will solve their problems. Society also feeds us this image of needing to be in a relationship. Just look at how many ads/shows/movies are about dating, relations, and sex.

 

I'm not saying that 13 year olds can't be in love. It's just that people that young aren't generally mature enough to handle everything that true love entails. At that age they have a lot of feelings and hormones that they need to express. I agree with emmy, people at that age can be in love but not the type of romantic love that lasts forever.

 

And well I'm at it, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, not the ultimate example of true love that's it's made out to be. The two only talked to each twice, shared one kiss, their familes hated each other, and they ended up dead. That's not true love.

[Chelseybug]

I think that love is something that can only be understood by someone who is in love. It's kindof like telling someone that they are speaking japanese wrong when you don't speak japanese. it's that simple. if u fall in love, you'll understand. Just because u aren't in love at this age doesn't mean other people can't be.

[June4life]

in highschool "we're in love" is a bit cliche, but I mean, I'm 17 and in highschool, and my boyfriend is 20.

 

We are really in love. I just think it depends on the situation. When you know, you just know.

[aireyc]

I generally think love is based on the motivations behind it, maturity, level of acceptance by both partners, understanding of each other, and attempt to work with each other to have a successful relationship. If one of the partners is ignorant to these facts, they aren't truly in love.

[Chelseybug]

wow. good point. 8)

[2pac4live]

Hello,

 

Something happy to add to this discussion.....(long post)

 

Call me what u want, i wouldnt care, but id call my self in love.....>>

 

My gf and I have been together for a year now, we gone through all i could think of, through ups, downs, suicidal thoughts, cheating thoughts, one way love, and now were still together.

 

We are married but not legaly, we talked about what we are going to name our kids, the boy will be jackson-andrew and the girl will be natalia-jaradina, and if they are the same sex one of them will have to have a girls/boys name

 

We feel each other without saying a word, we say things the same, think the same.

 

The only catch is....WE HAVE NEVER SEEN EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE!!!

Pictures..and such but not person to person...and it gets really hard for both, but we pull through. She lives 800km away from me and im not able to get around there..yet.......We met in a chat room 2 1/2 yrs ago, when msn chat was still open to under 18's.....

 

I hosted a chat room, in a while it filled up, and just before i was going to go off the net, i thought id wisper with someone whom i dont know...there was something i felt when i looked past her nickname.....i clicked it...we became best friends in minutes...she happened to be the same age as i am, then we exchanged msn emails....the next day i talked to her on msn...we were flirting and throwing "kisses" "hugs" and "i love yous" strait away...it was chemistry i cant explain it....then she was grounded of the net for month's....i didnt talk to her for ages...but almost forgot whom she was...then one night i went on..i felt i had to..and i saw her on i didnt remember who she was then, we exchanged hi's n werent as flirty...she told me she was deleting people of her list and was just about to delete me but i went on....that night we got talking away and i finally remembered her and she remembered me....30 mins into our conversation back came the kisses hugs and i love yous, she then asked me if i liked her...i didnt think twice...YES!!...then it got going.....

 

We then talked on the phone...and then were letters through the mail....and all through this i felt like she was there with me all the time...but she wasnt...we sent each other picture messages of our selves, a lot of letters.....

 

Then came wednesday 3rd of March 2004, i told her how i felt about her, how much i needed her in my life, n how much she ment to me...i proposed..THROUGH the WEB!!! she accepted with happines(13 " " means happines right?? ) everynight we talk for 4 hours on the phone without running out of things to say...now it cut back to 2 hours cuz she has to sleep to work early morning shifts, n so do i...it doesnt cost us money because im on optus pre-paid and i get freechat time, shes on plan and can ring any mobile in aus for free from 9:00pm to 12:00pm and from 8:00pm to 9:00pm at only 18c per 15 mins....

 

It feels like i known her all my life, and i simply cant imagine waking up in the mornings without looking over her, kissing her lips, holding her tight...

 

She makes me feel like i am the luckiest guy alive, n i hope i make her feel like shes the luckiest girl...

 

Call it what you want...but i call it love...

 

im 15 and so is she btw

 

Thank u for readin dis borrin novel..

 

Cheers

 

Serge

[PAdreamer]

I had a LOT of relationships in high school, and I advised a lot of my friends in their relationships. I HATE being told that I don't understand life concepts because of my age. I'm 19, but I understand everything I've experienced. I may not have the same views on it as other people, and I may not have as much experience with it as others, but I HAVE experienced it. And as we all know, experiences like love are different for each person.

I think that kids in high school are learning what love is. They know what it is- they've seen it, and they may have experienced a little bit of it. I think that to truly experience love, you have to go through a lot of relationships- any kind (dating, friends, family)- and just learn what works for you along the way. It's like putting together a gigantic puzzle, but you don't know what the picture is.

Kids know love. They just don't understand how all the pieces fit.

[Skout41]

This is a very interesting topic because me and my g/f have been discussing this lately because her mom asked if i loved her or if i was in love with her and i didnt know what she was talking about and she cleared it up by saying "you cant be in love with your dog but you can with your girlfriend" after that i had a better understanding of what she was saying then i had to figure out if i loved her or if i was in love with her, im pretty sure im in love with her but i dont know what true love is considering this is my first girlfriend so this topic is clearin it up but is there a way to tell if you are truly in love?, but seriously does anyone really know what true love is like ? you might think you have experienced it and that you will never love someone as much until you do... love is infinite there is no end to it so where does true love start on the neverending scale of love

 

ok sorry i got a little carried away and that propably made no sense to you but i had to add my two cents even if it didnt make any sense

 

keep up the good work !!

 

Skout41

[PAdreamer]

Wow Skout! Good question! In my experience it really is impossible to know if you've found true love, if you describe it the way society does.

 

Society says true love is that magical feeling that you have with a person where you know that they are the one for you and you could never live without them and everything is fireworks and orchestras... You know! Like the fairytales.

 

I think that true love means you love a person unconditionally, and you love them for your whole lives together. But say that person dies. Society tries to make it sound like you can only have one true love. I think, if my boyfriend died, I might be able to find true love somewhere down the road again. It wouldn't be the same, but that wouldn't mean it's not as true.

[HappyFunnyFoo]

I respectfully disagree.

 

I felt, and was, in love in my first relationship. I am now in love in a second one. The first was at age 15/16. This one is ongoing at age 19.

 

Both relationships involved a person who I could have easily spent the rest of my life with without question. Both relationships involved no arguments, respectful disagreements, intimacy, understanding of both individuals' morals, respect, absolutely no physical abuse or violence, a lack of negativity, etc.

 

Unfortunately, the first one was destroyed by parents. The second one is holding steadfast in spite of an attempted smackdown by parents.

 

It is difficult meeting the most understanding, compatible, serene, intelligent, and amazing person you've ever known, and then have to deal with garbage like this.

 

Both times it has been the belief of parents that the "first love" syndrome is ALWAYS the case: it's a shallow physical obsession with one's partner.

 

Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

My current girlfriend is someone who, admittedly, I did have some physical attraction at first to. The main reason I went with her to a dance is because of a six month long friendship in which we both realised our shared interests and similar backgrounds as, well, geeks. We are both avid violinists and love music of all kinds, are very understanding people, etc. Over the past year and a half of getting to know her, I can rest assured that what is in my heart now is one of the most powerful feelings of attraction and completeness I have ever experienced and that it can easily be called love, and she is to some degree at this level with me. Most importantly, this has developed with physical attraction as a secondary component, making it all the more powerful.

 

Unfortunately, the lack of faith which some individuals have regarding young love is what hurts me the most. The lack of understanding and communication from some individuals who are supposed to serve as great role models for the next generation absolutely dumbfound me. How can a seventeen year old be more open, understanding, patient, and kind than many who are twenty years or more her senior?

 

This is a very interesting topic. Definitely a lot of teens get lust and love confused. I can, hands down, assure anyone here that I know and knew the difference between lust and love even at age sixteen. It's become all the more apparent by age 19, but the way I looked at things is much the same. I carefully dodged out of possible situations involving lust. I was always searching for true compassion and companionship. Lucky for me I think the search is over. A relationship which was based on lust wouldn't last if the couple was forced apart with no physical, verbal, or written contact for a year. A relationship based on love would stand ten years of this and not waver, at least when looking at how much I care for my partner and in my personal experience.

 

-HappyFunnyFoo

[Just A Teen]

Honestly,

it sounds like you want to be one of those Ignorant Kids.....Like your jelous that your not in love or your not part of that group. "Being In Love " for litte John and Sue is going to be different for Bill and Sarah.... Everyone has there own was to define there love...And if they think they are in love then let them if it makes them happy why not?