Eddie37 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 I'd put it at a 1. We had amazing compatibility in many areas, and where there were problems, they were fixable. But she went and set up a network of new friends to catch her when she jumped, and then she jumped. This hurt like hell. So on top of the "normal" damage that would need to be repaired by a breakup, we would have to deal with the fact that although I was fully in the relationship, she had been making exit plans. Devastating. Maybe 1 is even optimistic. Yeah, I'm right there with you. My ex was secretly creating a nice soft pillow to land on before she left me. Then she left....she landed softly while I was left with pain and loneliness. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Yeah, I'm right there with you. My ex was secretly creating a nice soft pillow to land on before she left me. Then she left....she landed softly while I was left with pain and loneliness. i think most of us that've been left have landed right where you did, eddie. rejection is a tough pill to swallow. it's made all the much harder because most of us refuse to let go of it. it's a bit insane...because holding on is the one thing that keeps us stuck. why hold onto something that's clearly causing us pain? probably because it's just that...something to hold onto. letting go means cutting all the intricate little threads that are keeping us bound. can you imagine how liberating it would feel to do that? helps to keep in mind that there are indeed MANY threads. that's why it takes time. have to agree with the post that said it's a complete crap shoot. Link to comment
Eddie37 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 letting go means cutting all the intricate little threads that are keeping us bound. can you imagine how liberating it would feel to do that? helps to keep in mind that there are indeed MANY threads. that's why it takes time. Yeah, one of the biggest threads is the fact that I still love her. When the love fades away I'll really be able to let go and move on. And yeah, the rejection still stings like a mother. Link to comment
QuirkyCute Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I'd put it at a 1.0 x 10^-42. That's a REALLY, REALLY small number, by the way (take the number 1 and put 42 zeros in front of it. don't forget the decimal!). Gets smaller and smaller every second I don't know the future, but I really hope it doesn't involve him. I'd be really disappointed if I got a glimpse into the future and saw him in it. It's been about 5 seconds, so now the chances are about 1.0 x 10^-47. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 At this point reconciliation would mean being on friendly speaking terms. The chances of that are not looking too good, maybe if we live long enough we'll make final peace when we're senior citizens. Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 0 i have heard nothing from him in 3 months..no chance now Link to comment
funk Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 0 i have heard nothing from him in 3 months..no chance now:sad: but halt ...... coz he dumped me, and he wwas my first love! If someone could be so dumb to not being able to judge true love, I don't want such a nut anyways!! Secondly, We were together for 2 yrs, and at the end of it, he just escaped with a sorry , and a no contact order for 4 years, which meant dumping, but in a sweeter way!! Coz he couldn't face the fact that he had committed once upon a time, and that he wasn't abiding by it. So he chickened up!! But whatever, who wants a cheater!!! Good that I wasn't atleast engaged or married or even worse, didn't have a kid with such a jerk!! So basically, chances are 0 , but even if in the rarest possible ways he comes to me, I would just say a NO !! coz CHEATERS NEVER CHANGE , guysssssssssssssss!! Link to comment
JoshHimself Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I'd say 4.9999999 I have to learn to forgive, and I dont know if I can do that... Link to comment
abigheart Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Let's see.. - each other's first r/s and loves - 2 year r/s - strong, immediate connection - timing was the issue...broke up with me b/c he wanted to be on his own at this time, no other girl (but I could be wrong...a new girl could come outta nowhere! we don't know these things), said he didn't lose feelings for me or felt our connection was fading BUT...as the break-up has reached the 5 month mark and I've maintained NC for 3 months without him reaching out, I'd still say my chances are pretty much slim to none. So I'd say a 1 or a 0. The fact that we're each other's first loves (ugh sucks butt) makes it a lot harder but also just shows that I have to let go of any hope that a first love stays forever...I mean, MOST people do not stick with one person throughout their whole life. And I just have a feeling that my ex was just trying to break it to me softly by not being completely honest with how he felt about me and the r/s, maybe it really was more one-sided than I pictured. With that said, I'd rather just try to continue to convince myself that we won't get back together. Link to comment
loshadka Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 i wish i could say 1 but i'm afraid it's pretty much 0 ... Link to comment
TSandullo Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I really don't like numerically scaling the likelihood of my, or anyone elses recon, but still...I'm gonna go against my self and do it anyway So, I had a fab relationship with my ex, we were loyal to one another, had a good time together, are on good terms, sexually attracted to each other (well I still am) So, I guess it is 0. Why? Cos I don't want to get my hopes up, even with the number 1. TS Link to comment
iBroken Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Im at a 1 (or a negative digit). No chance in hell Id go back to that s**t of an ex LOL....no way Link to comment
bwhite00 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I previously said chances were around 5 because we dated for a month, things went great then she needed space. After a little introspection an just 3 days NC I'd say the number is rapidly going downhill and not because I don't think she wants me back or won't contact me but because I don't think I want to be in this state of limbo any longer. Link to comment
bwhite00 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 My problem is when I start doing well and getting her out of mind she senses it and sucks me back. I can only imagine if she texted me I'd react like a puppy to a toy so I have to change that and to do that would be to accept I deserve to be treated as well as I've been treating her. Of course if she doesn't contact me, no worries. But at some point over the course of the next month, she will come fishing for attention. Link to comment
brandnewday47 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 0. Pretty easy, and even if she were to randomly appear sometime down the line I'd have to think long and hard about how to converse, if at all. I'd say that the friendship we had before dating which was sacrificed is a bigger blow after this much time though. Link to comment
Eddie37 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 So, I guess it is 0. Why? Cos I don't want to get my hopes up, even with the number 1. TS It's not about getting your hopes up. It's about logically weighing the facts of the situation and estimating the likeliness of recon. Yeah, you and your ex had all the right pieces in place...but something was obviously terribly amiss. What was it? Link to comment
TSandullo Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 She 'fell out of love' with me...twice. so even if we did gbt, wud we last? No clue. Estimation still zero, until circumstances suggest otherwise. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Eh. Ill say 5. Anything is possible. I went NC last Monday. She texted me this weekend drunk and was complaining about how she read my texts and was upset that I said another girl was a "hottie" (I have no idea what she is talking about because that girl is NOT a hottie!). If she is still mad she still cares. I would be willing to reconcile after a few months of us proving to eachother that its not going to be the same ol same. But if it doesnt happen I will be ok with that too. Life is short. Way too short to spend being upset. Link to comment
scotsguy Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Okay well at the moment I'm not interested in reconciling at all. But various factors make me think it's still a possibility. Not now or in the next couple of years, but at some point in the future. We were each others first loves and were very close for more than 4 years. I guess I have the feeling that if things don't work out for her she'll be back one day. On that basis I'm gonna say 1. Firstly it's maybe 30% she'll come back, and if she does come back maybe 10% I would give it another shot. Who knows though - would never say never. Link to comment
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