Separation anxiety...SERIOUS!

[Fudgie]

My boyfriend has a dog (female) who is very anxious about being separated from him. She can deal with him going out to the store for a bit but when we go out on a date (obviously takes longer) then she kind of freaks. It's a problem for him because he can't go out for long amounts of time and he definitely can't travel.

 

(Work isn't a problem because he mostly gets to work from home - he's in the computer industry).

 

His other dog does fine without him but she just crumbles into little pieces. It makes me sad because I love her dearly and don't want to see her sad. I'd like him and I to go on dates without worry. Sometimes we come home to messes left by her, cushions eaten, and she's just SO emotionally distraught.

 

She was a shelter dog. Has security problems, probably from being abused. She is so loving but there have been times where I didn't pet her when she wanted to and she just acts like I broke her heart. It makes me so sad. she really is insecure with herself in general. When she does bad things (not often) my boyfriend will promptly discipline her, but she runs upstairs, throws herself on the bed, and cries/howls. And it takes a good couple hours for her to recover from all that.

 

Any advice?

[annie24]

maybe he should put her into a kennel when he is out. he should get a large kennel, fill it with a soft blanket, some toys. i also used to turn on the radio or TV for the dog when i left the house. just something soft and in the background. i think that will help her feel safe.

[Fudgie]

Wow...the tv/radio thing is a great idea. I will ask him about the kennel.

 

It just puzzles me how she always manages to freak out and defecate and urinate in various places. We always take her out before we leave and allow her to do both outside but yet she always has some left to do inside the house when we are gone!

[Cadence44]

Hey Fudgie,

 

How does he discipline her? (I'm not judging or implying anything about your BF by asking, by the way. It's clear that he loves his dogs. I'm just wondering what he does)

 

Aside from the separation anxiety issue, I'm wondering if she could benefit from some sort of solo activity with him or with you. Obedience classes, agility... anything like that?

 

Also, I wonder if positive reinforcement for things that she does right as opposed to discipline for the things she does wrong would help build her confidence. Is she food motivated? A favorite toy? You might try clicker training, since it really helps doggies associate the reward with doing the desired behavior.

[Cadence44]

It just puzzles me how she always manages to freak out and defecate and urinate in various places. We always take her out before we leave and allow her to do both outside but yet she always has some left to do inside the house when we are gone!

 

I bet that's an effect of her separation anxiety. Poor girl.

[amipushy]

She is peeing and pooing when he is out because when he first had her (and prob still does) he made a fuss of her when he came home so now she associates peeing and pooing as a means of getting lots of love and attention.

 

He needs to ignore her when he gets home, just put her outside and clean up without making a fuss and only give her lots of attention when she doesnt do it. It happened to me, I used to feel like crying when I got home and saw ALL the little pressies my dog left me on my kitchen floor.

[Fudgie]

He never uses physical discipline with his dogs...he looks at her and in that very deep voice of his he says "No! Bad!" The thing is...when we are coming home and she HAS done something bad, she is in pieces when we get to the door already and he doesn't even have to say anything. She'll "follow" him to the poopy mess and he'll look at her and say "No! Bad!" and she instantly FREAKS OUT and runs upstairs and cries. I've seen it happen a lot. He doesn't even need to swat her nose and she's already in pieces.

 

The thing is, he's SO affectionate with both dogs. He's always snuggling with them. Me too when I'm there. When we watch movies, there is always a doggie between us. But it just never seems to be enough for her.

 

She needs a doggie psychiatrist.

[Cadence44]

He never uses physical discipline with his dogs...he looks at her and in that very deep voice of his he says "No! Bad!" The thing is...when we are coming home and she HAS done something bad, she is in pieces when we get to the door already and he doesn't even have to say anything. She'll "follow" him to the poopy mess and he'll look at her and say "No! Bad!" and she instantly FREAKS OUT and runs upstairs and cries. I've seen it happen a lot. He doesn't even need to swat her nose and she's already in pieces.

 

The thing is, he's SO affectionate with both dogs. He's always snuggling with them. Me too when I'm there. When we watch movies, there is always a doggie between us. But it just never seems to be enough for her.

 

She needs a doggie psychiatrist.

 

Hmm. How about trying something new? Ignore it if she's made a mess, even though it's frustrating. Clean it up nonchalantly, then let her outside and praise her like mad when she goes to the bathroom outside. Ignore the bad and praise the good. Scolding is still attention, even if it's negative attention.

 

Also, are you guys using the enzyme cleaners to clean up the messes so that she's not attracted back to the same spots? You probably are, but I just want to make sure

 

She sounds like a really sweet, sensitive and smart girl. I'm sure she's trying her hardest, and you guys are trying your hardest but somehow she's just not understanding.

[meteorstrike]

crate train her, it will stop the chewing. Doggie day camp will take care of the anxiety.

[Fudgie]

Thanks Cadence! I will let him know so we can try that.

We already use positive reinforcements when she is a good girl so I guess now we just need to keep that up while ignoring the bad.

 

We use the enzyme cleaners. She doesn't ever go in the same place. It's on the same floor (downstairs, basement floor - actually that's nice because it's easy to clean up) but never in the same place. I think it's anxiety-related because her stool when we are gone is soft and loose...and she never has that normally when she's outside. I think she may get "IBS symyptoms" when she's upset. (My boyfriend is the same way so it must run in the family )

 

Oh she is the sweetest girl. My boyfriend has ignored her before (after she ruined the couch) and BOY it drives her nuts. She'll come to me and cry but just stare at him like her soul is broken because he ignored her.

 

I hope we can help her soon. Yes, it's annoying when she's like that but most of all, I just feel bad for her. I don't want her to be upset.