Why do I feel this way? Revenge?

[DeenasRhino]

I keep thinking about a completely ludicrous situation with my ex and I. As some of you know, 3 weeks after our breakup, she has a new bf.

 

In about 3 weeks, it would have been our 2 year anniversary. She is going on a vacation to England sometime this summer. I keep thinking that one day she will regret her decision and come back to me. She will text or call my phone asking how I'm doing and maybe wanting to be friends again. I will then deny her and treat her the exact same way she has treated me. I will be just as cold as she was, just as mean, just as cruel.

 

I am not a mean person at all but I don't understand how out of all people, she could put me thru this much pain. I cannot believe that she did that to me.

 

I am moving on in a positive direction but this thought has been on my mind for the past few days. Just trying to get some answers.

[TurtleDove12]

I think you need to slow down. I've read your posts, and you are obviously a very emotional guy, but take things more slowly. Don't make up your mind about things or resolve yourself to certain emotions...I've noticed you've made statements like it doesn't hurt anymore and you don't care anymore, but when you think like that so soon, it hurts even more when you hit the low lows that you'll go through.

 

I don't know why people act this way (the way your and my ex acted). They're obviously very selfish and only have their own interests in mind. If I could give you advice how to get over it, I would...the only thing I'll say, is that when I was 18 (And I know this doesn't make it easier) I felt things much more powerfully than I do now, but I also bounced back much quicker. I think the same will happen to you. I'm rooting for you.

[DeenasRhino]

I don't want to ever be with her again. I know that I deserve better. She broke my heart and I'm not going to let that go. I can never let that go.

 

I'm sure it's normal that I'm feeling this way. I want to hurt her like she hurt me. Sounds childish but that's how I feel.

 

I just don't understand how after a 2 year relationship you can move on in a matter of weeks. I probably will never understand that.

[MsDexter]

Yeah I know what you mean I don't understand it myself. I mean I don't know if my ex is with someone new or not but the fact he ended 3 years without even THINKING is still really painful.

 

Today I have been feeling like maybe I did something and it's my fault maybe I could of been different I think this has to be something to do with healing and stages we go through cause I mean there was nothing I could have done I am not Christian he wants someone who is simple as.

[Cheetarah]

I don't want to ever be with her again. I know that I deserve better. She broke my heart and I'm not going to let that go. I can never let that go.

 

I'm sure it's normal that I'm feeling this way. I want to hurt her like she hurt me. Sounds childish but that's how I feel.

 

I just don't understand how after a 2 year relationship you can move on in a matter of weeks. I probably will never understand that.

 

I do get where you're coming from with the revenge thing. Everyone says "Oh, that's unhealthy, you shouldn't think that way, bleh, blah, blooh." Well, I disagree. So then I'm childish. So be it, because I've entertained those very thoughts in the beginning. It was a release and somewhat therapeutic for me. Maybe I didn't want to go stomp it off at the gym. Maybe I didn't want to write a 20 page entry in my journal. Maybe I didn't feel like hugging a tree. I just wanted to be angry and vengeful and direct it at him(in my head). I don't really feel that way anymore. But I also didn't punish myself for having them, and just sort of watched them float on by. I let them run their course, then I gave it up to the wind.

 

Although, of course - There is such a thing as overdoing it. If it is ruling your thoughts, becoming a near-obsession, and generally effing with your entire mood/day, then it's time to give some of that aggression to the wind.

 

She may have broken your heart - But if you're not willing to let it go(ever), and be stubborn about holding onto the perceived wrongdoing and bitterness -then you will be the one responsible for the shattered pieces.

[DeenasRhino]

It is not ruling my thoughts. I would never let myself come to that.

 

It is probably just a phase I'm going through. Been happening for the past week that's all. Hopefully it will pass by quickly because I've already accepted (perhaps not fully) that she is gone. I don't want her back and I damn sure don't need her back. I was weak in the beginning but I am so much better. It's been so quick too. I'm happy for myself. I am where I want to be right now, single and happy. And things only get better from here. Hopefully karma will catch up with her some day.