Get some of that pride back!!!!

[tmills0011607306452]

Well, after being down for a very long time, I hit rock bottom. I had to finish business with the ex for finalizing the exiting of the lease. She didn't want to talk to me about it and told me she'll call me later. I pressured her that we need to take care of this and she started to push emotional buttons by saying that she never loved me, that all this discussion would end up being me crying, and how I am weak. I continues to pressure her and she started to push me and yelled for me to get out or she will call the police. I sat down and she started to push me and kick me. I gave her one last warning to stop until I finnally had enough. I picked her up and tossed her on the bed, and calmly said stop, we need to finish business. Now I will never lay a finger on anyone, but there is a point where she was using her power as a female to abuse me further...... Well, that put me in a huge rut yesterday.... How did I handle that?

 

I went out and bought interior paint and starterd to spruce up my new place! I started to make my new surrounding how I like it. I washed my car and installed a new DVD player in it. Other words, I started to find that old person that I new (ME!) and try to build him up to be a new person. Now I'm excited about my plans for the place. Keep yourself busy with things you like to do even though you do not want to do them! Start a huge project and force yourself to do it! You'll be amazed on how you'll be sucked into it, and even though your life seems at a loss now (I still feel that really bad right now) You'll feel a sense of accomplishment! But don't start too many projects at once, I'm starting to feel really stressed about all the work I have to do. (But it is a good stress!!! )

 

I hope all of you that are at a loss are doing better. (especially gilgamesh..hang in there bro...) Now if I can only find a date........

[Gilgamesh]

hi Tmills

 

Thanks , and yes I am feeling a lot better lately, I finally got 8 hours sleep last night, first time since this all started over 2 months ago.

 

i am not saying I dont feel waves of depression, but as soon as i feel it coming on I am able to handle it better or ward it off all together!

 

Its funny that you ex was on your case telling you that you wouldnt be able to handle it or that you would end up crying and all that, and yet, SHE was the one out-of control!

 

And treating yourself is great thing to do!, rearrange that furniture, get a new hair style , paint your walls, etc.

 

I like you, still miss having that love in our lifes, its a "state" I want to be in ASAP, but understand that for it to work, we need to be completely ready. I know emotionally I am not, even though my mind is ready to go!

[SwingFox]

Hi there tmills,

 

Thank you so much for your update. It's good to hear that you're doing so much better after all the events you have picked up to get your mind away from those things that really trouble you. I admire the courage with which you have gotten to things. Well done job!

 

What you have suggested is part of a rule in life that I live by: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy." I would like to add one little thing to your comments: what you have done, does not only work when getting out of a relationship, it also works for when actually being IN a relationship. Don't forget that you have to stay you. Of course you have to compromize in a relationship, but that doesn't mean that you have to entirely give up yourself in it.

 

I hope this advice helps others, too ...

 

~ SwingFox ~