The Past Is Killing Our Relationship.

[CrushedVelvet]

I need some advice, I think I'm about to lose the most important person in my life and the thought of that alone is crushing. There very well maybe nothing that can be done about this but I refuse to believe that this is inevitable.

 

Yes, it's true that I haven't met him yet but I'm not willing to debate any of this "Oh, you can't really love someone until you've met them" jazz, I know what I feel when I think about him, I know that it's him making me smile when I wake up in the mornings I know that he is the very reason for the few good things I have in my life, and I know I mean the same to him.

 

A bit of background info on us; We met on this online game, like the MMORPG sort. Neither one of us were looking for someone to date, it was sort of accidental. We'd been friends, not the close type at frist, just the kind you say "Hello" to or exchange pleasantries to. But one night it turned into something else, we had a deep conversation, and the man behind the pixels on my screen became more real than I was willing to admit at the time, or willing to accept.

 

He and I soon became we and now, after we've been together for a while, this problem has arisen. It's not something that we always fight about, or anything like that, but I think it's in the back of his mind more often that he will say. I'm aslo slightly afraid that this is his way of pushing be away because we've gotten so very close. But the problem is, I am not a virgin and this is a painful fact for him. It is so much that he told me today, he wouldn't want to be "close" to me if you get what I'm saying. This could also be because he wanted to be the expierenced one in bed and perhaps its taking

away from his masculinity. I don't blame him for feeling the way he does because I've felt shocked and hurt by someone's sexual past before It's almost as if some of the magic is going to be missing from the realtionship, and basicallly it's all around hurt. I don't know 100% what I'm asking complete strangers to help me with, but I feel that this is sort of a last resort and I fear that if he doesn't find a way to cope with this or something

everything that we have been planning and that we are working for could

be lost.

 

Is there anything that I should tell him? Explain to him? Is there

anything at all that can be done?

[thathoopla]

Is there anything that I should tell him? Explain to him? Is there

anything at all that can be done?

 

No. There's nothing you can say. Somebody who loves you will accept you. Not being a virgin is not a BAD thing, it's not like you're an alcoholic or a serial cheater or some other negative thing. Don't apologize for being who you are.

 

It's his issue to deal with.

[Sanesoul]

Is he a virgin?

[HeartGoesOn]

Yes.

 

If I were in your shoes, I would politely tell him that I will not be discussing anything sexual until after we meet.

[Theblueman123]

Haha I bet he's putting it up on a pedestal. Tell him not to value it at all, and his problem will be gone.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Are you sure he is not using this as an excuse not to meet you and therefore just keep you as an online romance without ever having to take it into the real world?

[shuttlefish]

. But the problem is, I am not a virgin and this is a painful fact for him. It is so much that he told me today, he wouldn't want to be "close" to me if you get what I'm saying. ?

 

Seriously? Do these people actually exist still? "Painful"...really? I don't know, he seems to see you as "damaged goods" somehow. I see a red flag here...insecurity, obsession with cult of virgin etc.

 

What can you do about it? Nothing

[CrushedVelvet]

Is he a virgin?

 

Yes, he is and we've talked about it before and it seems that he's embarassed about it.

[Billy Ray]

Wow..thats kind of crazy this day and age. The only people I know that really take that serious are the Muslims.

 

I'd just tell him the truth, and if he runs oh well. Bad news doesn't get better with time...let him know and if he really loves you he will accept it.