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New girl im dating, we really like each other, but she doesnt want a relationship


Tears May Fall

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So I met this girl about a month ago, and we've been talking ever since. In the last two weeks or so we talk/text almost every single day (both ppl initiate conversation), and we've gone on 4 dates so far, each one getting progressively longer (time spent together) and better (more fun, more comfortable, etc).

 

We're sooo alike, have so much in common, have so much fun together, laugh endlessly together, and most importantly are REALLY comfortable with each other. Ive never felt this comfortable with someone Ive just met. We're a year and half apart, im 26 shes 25. We have very similar attitudes towards life, goals, personality, things we look for in a significant other, etc.

 

The only problem really is, she just moved from another city over here at beginning of the year, and shes going to moving around all over the country to different cities over the next year or so, until she moves back here permanently next year. Shes goes out here ALL the time, almost every night with random people she just meets. She says because of the moving to other cities, she wants to be single because she doesnt want to get in any type of committment because it'll take away from her experience while traveling, said its not the same if you're in a relationship. I completely understand and told her I understand, and that I just go with flow and whatever were to happen will happen.

 

So the last time we hung out this past weekend, we were out for dinner and drinks and we ended up going back to her place and having sex. Then she asked if I was staying the night or going home (since we both had work in the morning the nxt day), and I said well unless ur kicking me out Id like to stay. Then she kinda just rolled over and went to sleep, when I went to cuddle with her, within like 5-10 mins she kinda rolled over away from me. The next morning I felt awkward and distant from her, just a vibe I got. I had to get up 2 hours before her so she was still half asleep. All she said was "thanks for everything last nght" and then i said "i had an amazing time, thanks." and i kissed her goodbye.

 

Then I texted her during the day jus telling her I was thinking of her and that i would love to see her again sometime, and hoped her day was going well. This was mainly to reassure her that I didnt just get some sex and now im satisfied and backing out (alotta guys stop caring after they get in the girls pants), it was to show that I was still interested in continuing to see her. She replied later in the afternoon (guessing when she got off work) saying "hey there got ur message thanks, i enjoyed my two extra hours of sleep Hope ur having a good day at work." Then i tried calling her later at night when I got home from basketball, but she didnt pick up, and left me a text saying Im actually out right now, hope ur day went well. I didnt reply till this morning.

 

Then we barely spoke today besides exchanging two texts and just for like 5 mins on facebook chat tonight, and she was on her way out to dinner/drinks. Shes been kinda distant from me since the other night, and Im trying to figure out any possibility why? Did she get to a point where shes like okkkayyy what now? Was I too affectionate by holding her afterwards and cuddling thruout the night and morning? Was it too clingy to tell I wanted to still see her again? She told me the very next day after our 3rd date that she wanted to see me again and she was texting/emailing me all thruout the day, so this is definitely her being distant or confused or just plain old no longer interested. Its not like shes ignoring me entirely, but shes not really saying much either. I dunno what to think of it.

 

I really like this girl and I know for a fact she really likes me too, like we have actual long term potential. Dunno if thats scaring her, considering shes made it VERY clear she doesnt want a relationship right now...dunno what to think or take of this but its kinda eating my brain out

 

I feel like for the first time in my life in the last 4-5 months ive finally come around to be ready for a relationship, and after dating girls that were never gonna turn into anything over the past 2 years I finally meet someone whom I see great potential with, yet she doesnt want a serious relationship...confused as can as be...and i know i have very little i can say or do here if shes got her mind set on being single already...im just wondering right now why shes backed off after the other night

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My recommendation is for you to slow down as well and not get any more emotionally invested - you are already more emotionally invested than she is, from what your story says.

 

If you read your story, it almost sounds like the typical "guy who doesn't want anything serious and says so, girl agrees, but feeling change after sex" story - except the roles are reversed. I'm sure you had feelings before sex as well, but there's no denying that sex strengthens those feelings.

 

What do we know for sure? We know that she doesn't want a relationship - she has stated this clearly and her actions show it.

 

Why is she being distant? She probably sensed you get too emotionally attached (I'm guessing this is not the first time this has happened to her) and does not want to lead you on.

 

If you can handle having a FWB situation with this girl, go for it, but if you're looking for something deeper emotionally, I would stay away or prepare to get hurt.

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Dude, I think she was rather straight up and said exactly where she was at. She wants to be single right now and enjoy the experience of travelling.

 

Based on what you have said, when she took you home for a shag the other night, that is all she wanted. Again, she has stated that she just wants to be single at the moment. That she is out with other people almost every night, and the way you describe your bedtime antics with her and the conversations the following day would suggest that she was just after a bit of lovin' from you that night. She is also detecting that you are wanting more. You are being pretty obvious about it, which would explain the backing off.

 

And while it will probaly hurt for me to say, but you are probably not the only guy that has met her needs in the last little while. That is where she is at, she has stated that. Let it go and walk away. This is not the girl for you.

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Just my opinion, but having meaningless sex without being in a relationship usually leads to someone being hurt.

 

i'd say around 95%. it's usually the woman, but guys hold hope it will turn into more too.

 

if you are into someone and they don't want a relationship but you do, move on. save yourself the heartache.

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