Why wouldn't the father go in the delivery room?

[Shortpants]

I fought with my hubby for the last 6 months of my pregnancy because he was steadfast in saying, "I don't want to be in the delivery room with you". It was funny at first, I didn't really think he was serious, so I told him, "Not optional. You were there when this baby was made, you are gonna be there when it comes out!" As time went on I got more and more pissed because he was serious! He really ddin't want to be there, but couldn't really tell me why. Finally, after much pressure on my part, he did admit he didn't want to see me going through that much pain and not be able to do anything about it. It was so sweet, he got a little teary, and I knew then it was just the fear of the unknown and not having any control over the situation that was freaking him out. That I understood completely!

 

I ended up with both my Hubby and my mother in law in the delivery room for the labor. Originally I didn't want the MIL there, but she had followed us to the hospital and it ended up being really great to have her there. I was a little nervous about my husband's mother seeing "all of me" so to speak, but when it came down to it, I really didn't care. When those contractions start fast and furious, who is looking at your hoo-ha is the last thing on your mind. The hubs did get a little pale here and there throughout labor. The nurses warned me that if he went down, he was staying there because they didn't have anyone big enough to move a 6'5", 350 pound guy out of the way. haha!

 

The funniest part was that I ended up with an emergency c-section after 12 hours of hard labor. Longpants (hubby) did come into the operating room with me (after taking FOREVER to figure out how they were going to fit him in the surgical gown... they ended up using two to get him completely set! LOL), and after the put up the panel to block me seeing the incision and whatnot, he kept peeking around the sheet and giving me running commentary on the happenings. It was just grand... not! At one point he leans over and says to me, "Oh my God, all your guts are up on your chest! Remember that scene in Braveheart where they disembowel Mel Gibson? It looks like that!!" Ummmm, thanks a ton hon, really didn't need to hear that right now. He really did well after all. When they took Littlepants (our dear daughter) out of the room to clean her up and do the tests, Longpants went with her at first, but decided halfway downt he hall that she was going to be fine with all the family we had there and the nurses, and came back to sit with me as they stitched me up and waited with me in the recovery room until we went back to our room. I am blessed with such a sweet, wonderful hubby!

 

And it is a resounding YES, you forget alllll about the labor you just went through once you hold that little person in your arms for the first time. There is nothing I have experienced iin all my almost 40 years of life that even comes close. The overwhelming love that consumes you the moment you look into those little eyes... oh jeez, getting all weepy just thinking about it. Yup, I'd do it all again in a second!!

[Parsley]

Aw ShortPants, such a cute story! Even the disembowelling!

 

There's a show on in the UK at the moment called One Born Every Minute, some cameras were put in a hospital and follow the births and whatnot going on. I LOVE that show. My housemate and I always get into her bed and watch it together. You don't generally see everything going on down below, but you sure hear about it. Some of the dads have been so horrible that we've wanted to hit them, some have been so cute and nervous that you wanted to cuddle them, but all of the dads have stayed in the room (if the dad was around...). One dad decided not to go into the theatre when he gf had a c-section for the reason that many here have said, that he just didn't think he could stomach it and the nurses priority was his gf and baby, not him, so her mum went in with her instead. Interestingly, even though this paints a very clear picture of birth in regards to the pain, my friend and I have always become SO broody after watching it, and seeing the faces of the mum's going from pain and fear to utter happiness when they hear the baby cry or see them for the first time. Watching this show just compounds how much I want children, and how I know the pain will be worth it.

 

Talking of the epidural, someone (sorry, can't remember who) said it was like ice cream on a hot day. I remember after my sister had her first baby she was telling me about when they were going home she kept saying to her husband "Oh that anaesthetist was a lovely man wasn't he, he was just so nice wasn't he?" and then realised she had never really spoken to him, it was purely because he was the man who came and made the pain go away. What a lovely man

 

P

xx

[Unknown1607307972]

I don't want kids but I'll say how I'd want it personally if I did.

 

I am tokophobic, very tokophobic, and if I wanted kids I would beg and plead for a C section. I know they hurt a lot afterwards, but a phobia isn't rational, and the thought of going through natural childbirth scares me to a crazy extent. Tokophobic women can resut in mental trauma if denied a C section, I have certainly heard of it.

 

So please don't judge

 

I would want my boyfriend/husband with me in the room if I had a C section. I'd want him to stay by my head with me. I know my boyfriend would.

 

However if for some reason I had a natural birth I would not want him there. I wouldn't want him to see me like that, and I think I'd be resentful to him as I would be the one suffering. I know he would want to be there, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't want him to see me cry, scream in pain, swear viciously have all sorts of liquid come out of me. I just wouldn't really want anybody other than the required hospital staff to see that. I am very comfortable around my boyfriend, he's seen me at my worst both mentally and physically, but that crosses the line for me.

 

Still, if a woman wants the father there then he should be there! He should respect his girlfriend's/wife's/whatever's wishes when she goes through something like that.

[Batya33]

I think when it comes to childbirth and pregnancy if you don't want children it's amost impossible to imagine how you would react if you did. Even if you did want children, badly, it's very hard to predict the "what if".

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think when it comes to childbirth and pregnancy if you don't want children it's amost impossible to imagine how you would react if you did. Even if you did want children, badly, it's very hard to predict the "what if".

 

I think a lot happens in that 9 months. When things are staring you in your face, you're allowed to change your opinions drastically about what you want and what is right for you.

 

People who are adamant about breastfeeding can quickly change their opinion when they realize how painful and demanding it can be.

 

Also, a lot of people who want natural births change their opinion pretty quickly once they witness a natural birth or when the pain starts kicking in.

 

There is nothing wrong with that as these things are your decision. Just goes to show you how changing the process can be.

[Seraphim]

I think a lot happens in that 9 months. When things are staring you in your face, you're allowed to change your opinions drastically about what you want and what is right for you.

 

People who are adamant about breastfeeding can quickly change their opinion when they realize how painful and demanding it can be.

 

Also, a lot of people who want natural births change their opinion pretty quickly once they witness a natural birth or when the pain starts kicking in.

 

There is nothing wrong with that as these things are your decision. Just goes to show you how changing the process can be.

 

Yup, I changed my mind in mid process. I wanted a total natural birth. After 13 hours of contractions every 90 seconds or so I changed my mind and most definitely wanted the epidural.

[sidehop]

I knew I'd be fine with blood but it was the last hour or so until our daughter's birth that the mood and the whole experience permanently stuck to my mind.

 

The teamwork at the hospital was amazing. I didn't know so much blood could come from one person and the mess it causes. It was like a war zone plus a horror movie mashed together in one.

 

But for myself standing next to my wife and seven other nurses chanting the word PUSH, one thing that scared us the most was when our daughter got stuck at the cheek.

 

That 20 seconds or so seemed to slow down vividly. Panic sat in the room and my mind snapped back into reality when one of the nurse screamed my wife's name and said "LISTEN, YOU NEED TO PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Then pop comes out our chunka-monka daughter at little over 9 lbs.

 

Of course seeing the doctor just go between her legs to stitch her up was another sight.

 

Do I miss the kitchenette accross the room and the $2 cheeseburger meals