My mom is a hoarder

[musicguy]

You know that show Hoarders: Buried Alive. My mom should be on that show. I love my mom and she's an great person, but her house is a pit. She just retired last year and has told me several times that she doesn't have time to clean because she gets too tired after work (when she was working) even her office was a pit too. Everyone at her work knew it and saw it. She can't have anyone over at the house because there's just SO much stuff. Her mom is just like her, but worse and that's where she got it from. She keeps things that don't need to be kept (plastic containers, lids, jars, books, mugs) She goes to Goodwill and Salvation Army and gets even MORE things. I've told her that she's got a problem, even her friends tell her that she has a problem. but she gets upset. What can she do to get help or what can I do to make her get help?

[Capricorn3]

You know that show Hoarders: Buried Alive. My mom should be on that show.

What can she do to get help or what can I do to make her get help?

I've seen that show and it's quite horrifying seeing how bad these things can get. It's mind boggling. There was recently a documentary about this and it's all about severe mental illness (apparently) and the only thing that would help is that she gets professional counselling and even then, it can be quite difficult to overcome. The biggest hurdel is convincing her she needs to get help. Good luck.

[greywolf]

I believe that hoarding is a compulsive disorder. She really needs to get some counseling.

[marshmlofluff]

My mom is like your mom. She keeps newspapers and other papers, primarily. It's not to the point where she's a danger to herself or to anyone, but it is embarrassing. When I was little I was never able to have friends over.

 

Funny...this is the first time in my life I am even mentioning it publicly and I am anonymous and still having trouble; I've gotten so used to trying to hide it. I have never been able to get her to get help; she gets really upset and angry every time I even mention it. Eventually I gave up. It's a shame though.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I know a few people who are hoarders and it is amazing when you walk into their place how much useless junk is piled everywhere.

[alli]

I've seen that show and it's quite horrifying seeing how bad these things can get. It's mind boggling. There was recently a documentary about this and it's all about severe mental illness (apparently) and the only thing that would help is that she gets professional counselling and even then, it can be quite difficult to overcome. The biggest hurdel is convincing her she needs to get help. Good luck.

 

Yep, I've never seen that show so I don't know what they do to fix it, but just going in & cleaning the place won't solve the core problem. It is definitely a mental thing and I would do my best to get her to see a counselor. Make sure the counselor knows that she is a hoarder so they know that she has a problem.

[bedrocks]

OCD is hard to fix.

 

Seems like some people get worse every year.

 

Not much you can do but accept it and one day you'll need a couple of big dumpsters to clear the place out.

[musicguy]

I've thought about selling her stuff on Ebay. Seriously, with all of the stuff that she has, she could make a fortune. I mean I know what having OCD is like cuz I'm somewhat OCD about certain things, but for her, she's just accumulated so many things over the years that walking through her place you have to walk sideways or hurdle things just to get to certain areas of the house

[orchidrose]

My mother is a hoarder, as well. She's never had direct therapy for it, but her therapists have told her that it's the byproduct of a lot of childhood trauma. She's gotten better about admitting to it, but she will never do anything about it. She keeps piles and piles of paper (seriously, if her apartment caught on fire, it'd be gone in 30 seconds). Her bed is covered in them so she can't sleep on it; she sleeps on the couch. You have to maneuver around piles of paper to get through her apartment.

 

Unfortunately, there's very little that you can do to make her see the light. She needs counseling, but in most cases, a person has to make their own decision to change and get help in order for it to stick.

[metrogirl]

My mother as well......I actually have a thread somewhere here about my mother's hoarding. My father was a hoarder as well. I grew up much like the other posters in this thread, not able to have friends over because I would die from embarrasment. Someone actually called Children Services on my mom when I was a chile because it was so bad. Chidren services came out and my mom was forced to tidy up a bit, she basically put everything in bags and boxes and stacked it neatly.

 

I have noticed through the years that I tend to hoard things but then when I realize what it is I am doing, I am quick to act on it and clear things up. My house has never been like what my parents house was like but sometimes I fear that hoarding will overcome me like it did my parents.

[Batya33]

I watch that show too - it is very helpful. I have relatives who are hoarders and it makes it very inconvenient if we want to get together with them. I am so sorry about your frustration. Do you have your own place? It really might be worth it because it must be stressful to live there and with her.

 

I think if you go to the website for the Hoarders show there is a link to how you can get help for your mother (I'd say she should be on the show but it doesn't sound like she would be into that!).

 

Good luck and again, sorry, I feel your pain.

[thejigsup]

I just watched Hoarders last night. It's amazing what their homes look like inside. I would urge them to get professional help. This just has to be a mental illness with its roots in childhood. Scary.

[metrogirl]

There was a woman that they were profiling the other day. They were trying to throw out her rotted and expired food. She clearly was struggling with that. The guy on the show wanted her to throw away some chicken broth that had expired in 2008 and she was adamant that she could still consume it and it would be okay because she has a cast iron stomach.

 

I feel really bad for some of these people, they look clearly pained by the whole process.

[DaBladeRoden]

I'm probably going to become one of those haorders when I'm older. I tend to acquire a lot of paper and web browser tabs.