Is shallow to say physical attraction is a must?

[yeawutever]

I don't mean to sound shallow but the first aspect that attracted me to my now boyfriend was seeing his face on myspace.

 

To me that's a must and then comes the other areas. Don't get me wrong, I would dump a cute man with a horrible personality (can careless if he was Tom Cruise) but when meeting someone on a date, they have to be good looking facially.

[ProtestTheHero]

No, it's not shallow. Even if it was shallow, it's your life and your decision.

[Sanesoul]

I think physical attraction is very important. I like to think that appearance pulls you in, but personality is what keeps you there.

[redsoles]

I agree. They must be at least.... good eye candy

They dont have to be sexy, but something has to be there.

I know all my boyfriends were cute, sexy, hot

 

But its their personality that was the determining factor.

It doesn't make you shallow at all..

[yeawutever]

No, it's not shallow. Even if it was shallow, it's your life and your decision.

Yeah I would get grossed-out quickly if the dude was facially unappealing or overweight, had severe acne, or was a huge hulk.

[dangletsbang]

I won't date anyone i'm not physically attracted to.

[Seraphim]

Looks start attraction most times, personality keeps the relationship going.

[Mauxly]

Not shallow at all. But it can be a pitfall to dating. Some of my favorite and sexiest boyfriends weren't the ones I thought were 'hot' in the beginning. But I got to knew them as friends and their personalities made them morph into the hottest guy ever!

 

I think that is the problem with dating, or rushing into judgment too soon. I wish people could slow down and be friends first. And by people, I mean, the guys that I've dated that might have stood a chance if they didn't try to rush me into romance...

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Shallow, as a term, annoys me. I think the best policy is to be honest about what you like and go for people who fit that criteria without being rude or malicious to those who don't.

 

Easy enough.

[Organs]

It's shallow if you say physical attraction is the only determining factor.

[guynextdoor]

Nicely said Organs..

[EQIQ]

You need to be attracted to the person you are with, it is only natural to want it and require it to be so. From a nature point of view, why would we want to make children other wise lol ??? People who argue that all beauty is on the inside, etc, are not truly being honest with themselves...

[ibu]

Not shallow at all.

Though what has happened to me too is that I met someone for the first time, and I was not attracted to them at first because at first sight I didn't think they were hot in the conventional way, but then as I get to know them, and get to know their personality, I fall for them hard! And then I do think they're very attractive.

[Jetta]

If it were the only thing that mattered to you it would be shallow.

[fLuiD]

Not at all. It is simply the truth. Physical attraction is how things get started. It is very possible though that the physical attraction dies down or just loses its priority after a relationship is established, but without it initially, it is almost impossible to begin a relationship.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's not shallow at all. Attraction is more than good looks. Personality and energy are also huge contributing factors in attraction.

 

It's only shallow to date someone for their good looks.

[ur02111222]

Nope, it's not shallow. You have to be attracted to the person.

[Cognitive_Canine]

And frankly, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't attracted to me. You're kind of wasting your partners time when they could be finding someone who was attracted to them.

[LightbulbSun]

Yeah I would get grossed-out quickly if the dude was facially unappealing or overweight, had severe acne, or was a huge hulk.

 

Okay, so what you're saying is that if a guy is...

 

overweight, but has a cute face

has a few pimples, but generally doesn't have acne

is big, but has a huge heart...

 

You wouldn't date him?

 

I'm sorry, but that IS shallow. Look beyond the outside.

[jonny15]

Meh.....fixing the face isn't very easy.

 

Going to the gym and fixing the body is possible. But if your butt ugly, your just screwed.

[LightbulbSun]

I think people should look at what's on the inside, rather than the outside.

[yeawutever]

Okay, so what you're saying is that if a guy is...

 

overweight, but has a cute face

has a few pimples, but generally doesn't have acne

is big, but has a huge heart...

 

You wouldn't date him?

 

I'm sorry, but that IS shallow. Look beyond the outside.

Nope I would not date him. I'm simply not attracted to big men (too much mass and too big). It's just not my favorite dish and will never be.

 

As for the pimples issues, I was mainly referring to a severe acne case to the point you can't even keep a normal conversation and it interrupts their facial appearance.

I wouldn't mind a pimple once in a while but many would be a turn-off.

[yeawutever]

I think people should look at what's on the inside, rather than the outside.

If there's no person I can think of that got stuck with an extremely ugly man is my grandmother. I'm not exaggerating because everyone (even my parents and the rest of the family members) find him physically repulsive. It got to the point I can't even give me a greeting kiss so I always extend my hand when saying hi.

 

Everyone but my grandmother find him ugly. Luckily he's not my grandfather.

 

So no, appearance do count if you're meeting someone for the first time. After that stage then comes all the others qualities if you want to turn it into a relationship.

[easyguy]

Physical attraction ain't just about eye candy, but the vibe. Not all attractive women I run into are people I'd want to talk to. In a couple instances, when I've visually encountered an attractive woman at say, a bar (usually the same bar I play music at every week), I thought, She's good looking, but nothing compels me to talk to her. I'll glance at her repeatedly for a few more minutes and then I'll probably forget all about her by tomorrow.

 

My ex was physically attractive to me, but she was also warm and approachable. I don't know, there was something about her. If you stripped away the vibe and all that remained was image, then it wouldn't have felt the same. To be honest, I wasn't even concentrating on her looks. I didn't give myself time to just look at her like a window shopper. I was introduced to her by a friend out of the blue, and immediately talked to her moments later for about half an hour. What I remember most about her in that initial meeting, physically speaking, was the intense concentration of her eyes on me, like she was just captivated by what I was talking about.

 

I don't believe it's shallow to think that physical attraction is a must, but sometimes you don't know what is beautiful to your heart until you run into it.

[hexaemeron]

Personally, I think it's "shallow" to only consider one aspect or quality in someone when seeking a consort, be it looks, money, or personality.

 

When you're with someone, you accept all of them. Not just what you pick and choose.