Depressed Boyfriend Using Oxycontin (and Roxies) As Self-Medication

[riaroseknows]

My boyfriend of 4 years has recently started using Oxycontin (and Roxies) this past September. At first, I thought that he was just doing it with his friends because they were giving it to him and it was a way for him to look "cool" in front of them. At first, on occasion, I would do some with him here and there but not nearly as much as he has been. I do not do them at all anymore.

His friends give it to him for "free" or it seems to me that he sits around waiting for someone to just say "Here take some" As far as I've seen, he rarely asks but it's as if he expects it.

I attempted to help him with an at-home detox the past 3 days. He had the typical withdrawal symptoms like RLS, insomnia, aches and pains and overall just feeling like ****.

Just this morning (The 3rd day of detox) he began to really open up to me as to why he does the drugs. He told me that when he's not on them, he doesn't give a crap about anything. When he is on them, he's more productive, he eats, he goes to school etc. I have even noticed an improvement in the way that he treats me when he's on them. He expressed to me that he wants to still do them and he wants to do them so he can get through his day and be able to sit through school and get a degree.

I sense he is seriously depressed. I suggested that he go see his doctor, tell him exactly how the Oxycontin makes him feel and how exactly he feels off of it and the doctor may be able to provide to him a better route of dealing with his obvious depression. (Which he doesn't think it is depression, he just calls it as not giving a ****...In which my response is, "That IS depression sweetie")

He wants to continue the use until he sees the doctor this week.

I have a really hard time determining what I should be doing about this. I don't want to sit back and watch him get deeper and deeper into the drugs. On the other hand, I want him to be successful.

 

Has anyone had a similar experience as this either with a loved one OR have you been in my boyfriends shoes before? I need some insight from people that have been through this before. I love him dearly but I hope that he can face his real problems head on rather than sedating them. What can I do?

 

(P.S.) I understand the responders that may say "Get rid of him!" "He's not worth it" and "He will only bring you down with him" But he is not just a boyfriend, he is a family member as well so please keep that in mind.

[lavenderdove]

Addicts have a million and one reasons why they should still use drugs. Sure, even i would feel great taking Oxycontin, everyone does, BUT being a drug addict ruins your life and health over time and it's illegal.

 

Most companies now require drug tests before hiring, so even if he did finish school, he wouldn't be able to get a job. He's in denial, and he's trying to get you to agree to support him in his denial.

 

If he is depressed, he needs to get medication and treatment to reverse the depression, not take seriously addictive drugs to get him high. Two entirely different things.

 

So if you agree to this, you enabling him in his drug use, which could eventually lead to a total deterioration of him as a person, jail, illness, even death. So don't agree to it.

 

Tell him that he's only got one more day, and he won't be physically addicted, so he can handle that. Then he can go to the doctor ON MONDAY and start talking to the doctor about his depression to get treatment for it. You need to draw a line and say illegal drug use for any reason is not acceptable, especially when there are all kinds of legal drugs obtainable from a physician that will cure the depression.

 

But honestly, most likely he is also manipulating you because he really enjoys being high... that's why they do it. He won't be high on the drugs the doctors provide and he knows it, so they're not 'fun' like oxycontin is...

 

And since he just started using in Nov., he is in the early stages, but every day you agree to him continuing in another day deeper into the addiction and the livestyle of addiction.

 

So you need to insist that if he wants to be with you, he has to be clean, and go to the doctor to get treated for his depression. If you want to understand how manipulative addicts can be, and how to handle him better, attend an Narc-Anon/Al-Anon meeting, which are run to help families of addicts.

[HerDestiny]

LavenderDove is right on! I couldn't have said it better myself.

[riaroseknows]

It's so difficult to watch a loved one go down this path...

 

I gave him the ultimatum of me or the drugs. He told me that I do not love him for who he is if I keep getting upset about his drug use and that it's his path to choose. I am well aware that this is manipulation but even though I am aware of it I find it increasingly difficult to just let him go. He seems so dead-set on the fact that these drugs are helping him cope with everyday life.

 

I think going to a meeting at least for myself will help me realize this. Maybe I need some help in being able to let a person like this go. 4 years is a very long time to be with someone and then leave them to their own devices and decisions even though I know that they will ultimately be so destructive on him, his health and his future.

[HerDestiny]

I know how difficult it is to watch a loved one go down this path. I've been there. What is also difficult is to read your words and see how you know what you want and a drug addict isn't it.

 

He is trying to manipulate you so he can have you AND the drugs. Sounds like this isn't the type of life you want to live.

 

Him doing drugs and making a thousand excuses to do them is a choice. And you have the choice of having a fulfilling relationship with someone who has their head on straight.

 

You're worrying about him going down the wrong path and it sounds as if he doesn't want to let you go and keep you down with him so who's worrying about you???

[blackglory]

My brother was addicted to oxycontin. From there is progressed to heroin. It sounds to me like he is giving you excuses so that he can continue to use the drug. I'm not going to tell you to get rid of him because you wouldn't listen to me anyways.

 

Any MD will not prescribe oxycontin for depression. That is not what the drug is for. Oxycontin is an opiate and is largely used to treat cancer patients who are in extreme pain- not an antidepressant. The drug does not function in that way. (I am also a pharmacy technician).

 

Each drug effects people differently. However, oxycontin/oxycodone is extremely addictive. It is classified as a C-II medication under federal law. Other opiates like Vicodin are classified as a C-IV. Oxycontin is in the same category as Ritalin, Adderall, Morphine, etc.

 

Your BF has some serious emotional issues and a bad drug habit. These issues take quite a bit of rehabilitation to get past. He should be seeing a psychiatrist and in counselling. A professional will be able to diagnose him with what is REALLY going on.

 

He needs to stop taking the drug. He might think it is helping him, but it is really dragging him down, as any drug addiction does. However, he will not do this until he is really ready. It does not sound to me like he is.

 

I would watch for him to be using behind your back or making claims that oxy is the only drug that can help him. Probably both.

 

I think there will be a point where you will have to evaluate if you want to accept the fact that he has a very big problem with the drug and live with it or leave him. But it's your life, so it's entirely up to you when that time comes.

 

Best of luck to you.

[greywolf]

Usually people start off on one drug, then it stops being enough and they start using worse stuff. He needs to stop the oxycodone now before it gets worse. If the withdrawal is really bad he might be able to get prescribed some methadone or buprenorphine which will reduce the withdrawal symptoms.

[hexaemeron]

This drug absolutely destroyed my family. Destroyed. My parents did this for years.

 

There is nothing you can do. Just let him go. I promise you'll be better off in the end.