HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 I'm concerned you are connecting all the problems with relationships to your girlfriend. It isn't really her fault if your roommate wants her body. And she didn't cause your problems with your mom and sister really, did she? Isn't she sort of a scapegoat, since they are hurt because you left? I know none of these things are her fault. It's just upsetting... I was telling one of my friends here earlier in PMs. It's like there's a price for everything and the price I've paid for being with her is the loss of two family members and maybe my best friend. I know it's not her fault... It's like some higher pwer doesn't want me to be too happy. A good thing comes along, and I have to give up other good things to make room... Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I know none of these things are her fault. It's just upsetting... I was telling one of my friends here earlier in PMs. It's like there's a price for everything and the price I've paid for being with her is the loss of two family members and maybe my best friend. I know it's not her fault... It's like some higher pwer doesn't want me to be too happy. A good thing comes along, and I have to give up other good things to make room... That's true. We have to give up many things in life, just like I had to give up my closeness with my family to move around with my husband. And deep down, I have resented the hell out of him for it. Life is just a pain in the ass, I have to admit. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 That's true. We have to give up many things in life, just like I had to give up my closeness with my family to move around with my husband. And deep down, I have resented the hell out of him for it. Life is just a pain in the ass, I have to admit. Yea... And with the way things have been going lately I wonder what will go wrong next. A lot of things that are important to me have been taken away. I don't want to resent her for any of these either. But I don't deny human nature and I know down the line I might have moments of resentment. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Yea... And with the way things have been going lately I wonder what will go wrong next. A lot of things that are important to me have been taken away. I don't want to resent her for any of these either. But I don't deny human nature and I know down the line I might have moments of resentment. No doubt, and you can never tell what that will lead to. I have such a hard time looking back and dreaming about how things could have been, it's so unhealthy. When we came close to separating, I let all this spill out like a volcano, and it wasn't pretty. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 No doubt, and you can never tell what that will lead to. I have such a hard time looking back and dreaming about how things could have been, it's so unhealthy. When we came close to separating, I let all this spill out like a volcano, and it wasn't pretty. I guess i just need to remember that while all this bad stuff has been going on, she's also been someone there through it all and I've always been able to count on her for comfort. My Mom and sister may have disowned me because of my relationship with her. But under these circumstances I think they would have reacted that way toward anyone from the States. She's not doing anything to cause my friend to feel this way about her other then being herself. She had absolutely nothing to do with me losing my job. She had nothing to do with my dog dying. And she had nothing to do with the parting of ways with an online friend here recently. And I didn't get the swine flu because of her either. In the last month, the volunteer work I've done with the shelter is something that has really lightened my mood. I would have never even thought of doing that if she wouldn't have suggested it. And even before all this bad stuff started happening. My life changed for the better when I met her. I used to drink so much... Seriously, it was disgusting. I drank every day, and not just a little, I drank a lot of alcohol on a daily basis. As soon as I got home from work I started drinking and I drank until bed time. Then I met her and knew she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a drunk. So I cut out about 90% of the drinking. And when I was suicidal... she really was the only reason I didn't go through with it. I've said that on here before and gotten some negative comments. Healthy or not, it is what it is. When I thought about all the pros of ending my life and the very few cons. She was the only con that was significant enough to stop me. So I guess these are the things I should remember if I ever feel any resentment creeping in. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Sounds like she's been more good than bad for you. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 Sounds like she's been more good than bad for you. Oh definitely... I just needed to really look at the bigger picture. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Why would your family disown you because of your gf? I don't understand that...Is she a bad person? Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 No she's not a bad person. In short, my Mom and Sister don't like her because she's American even though they would never come out and say that. They want me to move back home, I am here in the States with her, so they blame her for me not moving back home. This is the way my Mom feels... I think my Sister doesn't agree completely, but she's going along to get along. My sister sees my Mom all the time, she doesn't see me that often. So it makes her life easier to agree with me Mom. My Mom and I weren't that close. My Sister and I were really close. And I haven't talked to her since September. We used to talk almost every day. SO this has been really upsetting. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 So what? where are you from than? Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 So what? where are you from than? I am from Norway. I should probably point out that it's not common for people from Norway to not like Americans. I hope no one is reading this and thinking that. My Mom and sister just have a problem with me being in a relationship with an American because it's keeping me here. What they don't realize is that my girlfriend and I have talked about moving there a lot, especially now that I don't have a job anymore. Link to comment
Siriana Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 You think? He's never came right out and said how deep these feeling are. I want to think it's just an infatuation, but I am starting to wonder. no, this has been going on for a while. He lives with her. He knows how she functions, he knows her quirks and habits. He's seen her looking crappy and looking good. He's seen her when PMS-ing or being on the top of the world. With or without make up..... It's not a little crush. He knows her well enough to experience quite a deep connection with her. I don't understand why you talked him out of leaving. He was intelligent enough to suggest moving out and had enough respect to suggest it. You guys talked him out and it wasn't difficult because he likes her.. Him leaving wouldn't kill the friendship. But with him staying you are loosing him. Link to comment
notsogood Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 nm answered in a post above. Wait so your mom and sister dis-owned you because you are not moving back to norway anytime soon? That sounds retarded sorry. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 no, this has been going on for a while. He lives with her. He knows how she functions, he knows her quirks and habits. He's seen her looking crappy and looking good. He's seen her when PMS-ing or being on the top of the world. With or without make up..... It's not a little crush. He knows her well enough to experience quite a deep connection with her. I don't understand why you talked him out of leaving. He was intelligent enough to suggest moving out and had enough respect to suggest it. You guys talked him out and it wasn't difficult because he likes her.. Him leaving wouldn't kill the friendship. But with him staying you are loosing him. We asked him not to leave because we didn't want him to leave on bad terms. He was packing up and ready to leave all pissed off. And he didn't really have anywhere to go. He probably would have went to his Mom's place. But she wouldn't have let him stay there long term. SO he would have left for the night, came back the next day, and we still would have had our problem to deal with. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 nm answered in a post above. Wait so your mom and sister dis-owned you because you are not moving back to norway anytime soon? That sounds retarded sorry. Yea, pretty much. Even though I wouldn't call it "retarded." Link to comment
Siriana Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 We asked him not to leave because we didn't want him to leave on bad terms. He was packing up and ready to leave all pissed off. And he didn't really have anywhere to go. He probably would have went to his Mom's place. But she wouldn't have let him stay there long term. SO he would have left for the night, came back the next day, and we still would have had our problem to deal with. heh... i see... that's different - he was upset while saying that. yeah. Letting him leave like that would be stupid, cruel and unfair. Dunno..you already know my opinion on this. I am still waiting for you to become typical guy wanting to mark his territory. Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 heh... i see... that's different - he was upset while saying that. yeah. Letting him leave like that would be stupid, cruel and unfair. Dunno..you already know my opinion on this. I am still waiting for you to become typical guy wanting to mark his territory. I think he beat me to it. That's what he was doing in the bar, lol. Things have actually been a lot better between the three of us since this whole thing happened. Link to comment
Siriana Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I think he beat me to it. That's what he was doing in the bar, lol. . well you made me smile yes he certainly did. heh Link to comment
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