Climbing back up.

[Firiel]

Yes, he does recognize that. Unfortunately, after his savings ran out, they were paying his bills (he didn't qualify for unemployment), so it was either allow himself to be controlled or be homeless, essentially. Now that he doesn't rely on them so heavily, he can more easily assert himself. He's just not sure if a weekend visit is a hill to die on or if he should just keep the peace until he gets his own place.

[redrose85]

To quote Will Smith “parents just don’t understand.” What they think is high paying now is more like the median.

[Batya33]

Yes, he does recognize that. Unfortunately, after his savings ran out, they were paying his bills (he didn't qualify for unemployment), so it was either allow himself to be controlled or be homeless, essentially. Now that he doesn't rely on them so heavily, he can more easily assert himself. He's just not sure if a weekend visit is a hill to die on or if he should just keep the peace until he gets his own place.

 

So now he knows to make different choices so he has enough of a financial cushion not to have to resort to living with his parents. It might actually work to his advantage because the memories of living there will be so repugnant.

[Firiel]

To quote Will Smith “parents just don’t understand.” What they think is high paying now is more like the median.

 

Yeah, I think his step-dad just didn't know the kinds of jobs he was applying to. It was kind of frustrating for him to be told by a guy who makes 100k a year or something (educated guess on my part) and hasn't looked for a job in 25 years that he was asking too much by looking for a job that paid 30k a year as someone with two degrees and several years of office experience.

[PaintWithLight]

So now he knows to make different choices so he has enough of a financial cushion not to have to resort to living with his parents. It might actually work to his advantage because the memories of living there will be so repugnant.

 

I agree. He really needs to build up a big nest egg if he is planning to move out. Just setting up an apartment again with appliances, furniture, cable, etc will take a big bite from his first few paychecks. Does his job have a probation period? Maybe he should wait on moving out until he passes the probation and his gig seems a little more permanent.

[Firiel]

I agree. He really needs to build up a big nest egg if he is planning to move out. Just setting up an apartment again with appliances, furniture, cable, etc will take a big bite from his first few paychecks. Does his job have a probation period? Maybe he should wait on moving out until he passes the probation and his gig seems a little more permanent.

 

He won't move out on his own until he can afford it which will probably be a couple of months.

 

There are other places he could live rent-free for a couple of month because he has a lot of family in the area. He's got a step-sister, a brother, another set of parents, maybe others. Actually some of these may have been better choices from the beginning (and he was considering them), but his parents were insistent that if he move back to the city, he move in with them and not another relative. Now that he has a job, he could potentially move in with another relative until he can afford to live on his own. I'm not sure whether he will choose to do that or not. It probably depends on how it's going with his parents. Some days are more frustrating than others, and last time I talked to him it was pretty recently after a fight. So he may not be as desperate to get out of there as he seems after conflicts.

[Firiel]

I'm worried G won't be able to visit this weekend. His uncle is really sick (as in, possibly dying). I texted him to let him know that if he can't make it up this weekend, I understand and not to be afraid to tell me. I haven't heard back from him which I worry means he knows he won't be able to make it and doesn't want to tell me. I also texted him a "How are you?" thing this morning and haven't gotten a reply, so yeah. I am about 50% sure I'll hear from him tonight or tomorrow telling me he can't make it.

 

 

 

Life sucks.

[Firiel]

And he also hasn't cashed the check I sent him for gas.

[Batya33]

I'm sorry his uncle is sick. G needs to be considerate of your time and ability to make plans - that is far more important than feeling awkward about texting you the truth about this weekend.

[Firiel]

He's coming up. Turns out my worry was completely my own invention. Glad I didn't bring it up now.

[hers]

We are our own worst enemies!

[Firiel]

So... I have a pretty solid lead on a job down in Pretty City. Actually, it's a little over 30 minutes away, but I'm not sure that would be a terrible thing. It would definitely make the decision be more about the job than about him.

 

Anyway, I applied for one job there and made it through a couple of steps before they went with another candidate... but then they specifically asked me to apply for another job opening they had. So that was cool. I just had an interview via Skype yesterday that went really well.

 

It's kind of scary. I didn't expect anything to happen this quickly.

[BigKK]

Wow sounds like the company that didn't take you was still impressed by you Firiel, if I am understanding correctly this would be in G's town?

[Firiel]

Wow sounds like the company that didn't take you was still impressed by you Firiel, if I am understanding correctly this would be in G's town?

 

Close to it. It would be about 30-45 minutes away from where he'd like to live (downtown in his city). So, in a smaller town right outside his city.

[BigKK]

Close to it. It would be about 30-45 minutes away from where he'd like to live (downtown in his city). So, in a smaller town right outside his city.

 

That wouldn't be so terrible! 30 minutes is a cakewalk

 

Any more details on your job and possible progress of the interviewing process?

 

I guess its a little too soon to get your hopes up completely, why are you scared that it might happen or that you think it might and it won't?

[Firiel]

I'd like the job, but change in general scares me, and since I wasn't planning on anything happening that soon, it kind of feels whirlwindy and a bit scary.

 

I basically had a preliminary interview yesterday. It will be a while before I hear back because I'm a bit head of other applicants in the process since the new position is newly posted and they had already gone through my resume and cover letter. They say they'll get back to me sometime next week.

[redrose85]

Fingers crossed for you!!

 

Change is incredibly scary at times, but this would be a very good change

[annie24]

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[Firiel]

Thanks, guys!

[Firiel]

I have a second interview for the job in Pretty City tomorrow, as well as an interview for an on-contract technical writing position here in town. The latter would be a part-time, from home type of deal. I would like to get involved in something like that just to pad my income a bit. I really like that idea. I'm trying to save up a little nest-egg, so even a few hundred dollars a month would go a long way towards that.

[annie24]

That sounds good. I do something similar (work from home) which is great, I can do it in my pajamas. Bad when I have a deadline and wake up at 6 AM to finish it, like today, ugh.

[redrose85]

Good luck to you on both counts! What co is the technical writing through?

[Firiel]

I felt inexplicably low and depressed yesterday. Today I feel inexplicably anxious.

 

I guess I have a lot going on emotionally. It seems like both getting a job offer and not getting a job offer from the Pretty City job will be difficult in different ways. And if I do get a job offer, both moving and staying here would have their difficulties.

 

Decisions are hard. And I don't have many close friends to go to for advice on what is a pretty difficult dilemma. Ugh.

[redrose85]

One day at a time, F.

 

You can always come to us to debate/weigh/having a sounding board.

[Firiel]

...and today I'm panicking about whether to buy tickets for Christmas. As near as I can tell, they wouldn't be refundable and would only be transferable with a $200 (!) fee. So if I'm not going to be flying down there for Christmas, I would be eating $300. UUUUUUGH.