MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 to make a long story short, last month I banged married man I met on the phone through work. We have been talking for over a year almost daily (work related) but around summer time I noticed he got really aggressive with his questions and flirting. I ate it up with a spoon and by October we had confessed that we were both hot for each other. we set a date and in the meantime we played on the phone without even knowing what each other looked like. We were really crazy and we were both obsesssed with each other. When we met the sparks flew and the deed was done. Since then he's been acting weird. The days that followed he was still making sex comments but then he was guilty and I told him at one point that I needed to disconnect from him and he needed to deal with his guilt. And he was all like "please don't stop talking to me, don't stop calling me." We had a really awkward week on the phone and then I went away for Christmas with no contact. When I came back he sounded like he was doing backflips and even said "so, you're really back in town?" He doesn't call me himself but when I call him his voice changes, it gets low and affectionate and he is warm and keeps me on the phone for 20 minutes at a time (which is long for working hours). He even makes a point to ask me about these guys that I hang out with and one in particular who likes me. He is still flirtatious and makes veiled sexual comments. We both want each other and we are both dancing around the issue like retards. I want to push him away and ask him to delegate my calls to someone else but in another breath the sex was so amazing I can't resist him. I melt when I hear his voice. I know its wrong but I can't stop. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 What about his wife? You can indeed stop the sex talk etc if you 1) remember that he has a wife; 2) remember that you should only be speaking to him about work-related matters; 3) remember that his interest regarding you with other man is simply from an "ownership" perspective...he likes to feel he owns your body; 4) The low, affectionate voice is all part of his seduction technique. He has it down pat because I am sure you are not the only woman he is banging at the moment, aside from his wife. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I know its wrong but I can't stop. I know it's wrong but I won't stop. Link to comment
metafisics Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Mmmhh... you either stop now and deal with the consequences, or continue and still with the consequences later, which could be even worse as you are likely to have been more attached by then. (eg. You fall in love with him, wife finds out and he he cuts all contacts becoz he wants his marriage to work, they find out at work, you lose your job) Hey, he could even decide he wants to be with you and leave his wife.... Bottom line, anything's possible and every step you take has consequences, you only need to be able to leave with the consequences of the action you choose. All the best! Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Actually, I suspect you are sure what to do about your married man. What you need now - is to do it! (And not allow yourself to be seduced into a situation which is likely to wreck you emotionally and professionally for one night of passion and a 'low and affectionate' phone voice.) Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 hahaha good answers. so how do you guys know he's a playa? you met him? what does it matter anyway? I'm not day dreaming about going out on dates with this guy nor do I long for him to meet my parents. I just find him really hot. I never met his wife so I have trouble feeling bad about that. I have a male friend who says that women typically answer this way cause they are jealous. Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Actually, I suspect you are sure what to do about your married man. What you need now - is to do it! (And not allow yourself to be seduced into a situation which is likely to wreck you emotionally and professionally for one night of passion and a 'low and affectionate' phone voice.) ok this and the above response is good. I've never been addicted to drugs but I have a friend who struggled with it and now I kinda know how he feels. I can't stop. everytime i want to cut it off I'm like "hot damn, I can't stop." I like him, we get along really well and have amazing sexual chemistry but I don't care that I'm not his number one priority. Nor do I want him to leave his wife and kids for me. This is just the most insane situation I've ever been in. I know I will get hurt. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I have a male friend who says that women typically answer this way cause they are jealous. I can put my hand on my heart and say, in all honesty, that I do not envy your situation one little bit - it sounds as though you are in a lot of emotional conflict right now, and this is only likely to get worse - whichever course of action you take. It's up to you whether you take the course of short-term longing and regretting, or the longer term one. Link to comment
arwen Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 hahaha good answers. so how do you guys know he's a playa? you met him? what does it matter anyway? I'm not day dreaming about going out on dates with this guy nor do I long for him to meet my parents. I just find him really hot. I never met his wife so I have trouble feeling bad about that. I have a male friend who says that women typically answer this way cause they are jealous. What do you want from this post? You post your story and you get opinions, that's how a forum works. Obviously no one has met this man, but why ask for opinions if you don't want to hear them? Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 its not that bad, it was only bad for a couple of weeks. now I'm like "how do I get it sexified again?" "is he still interested?" "should I run far away?" but I'm ok, he's in my thoughts less and I'm not sitting around waiting for his call. Its like a game, I don't know how to handle it. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Aren't there any single guys out there that you can have hot sex with? I'm sure he's not the only one that can float your boat. Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 I don't know, I can't control attraction. There is no justifying what is going on but it is ridiculously sexy. he is ridiculously sexy. Link to comment
stingray Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Yeah? Well we do know that his boat is being floated by two women right now. An interesting thought is, are you okay with being cheated on? If he likes you genuinely he would have left his wife properly and dated you. Right now in a way he cheats on his wife and you(Not really but TECHNICALLY!) If he cheats on his wife like this then he is going to do the exact same with you one day. Link to comment
waveseer Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 You know it's wrong and you'll continue anyway. Would you like to know the future? Nobody can tell you that. What we can tell you is that you're playing with fire and very often when people do that they get burned. If/when that happens come back and see us again. Until then I'm not sure what advice you're looking for. Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 I don't really care about that. I know someone else who is in a similar situation and she constantly thinks about the man banging his wife, especially at night. I can honestly say its never crossed my mind in that way. I don't really care, I just know what we've got is incredibly hot. I don't want to date him. Its weird, I just want to have him over at my place or go to hotels and be very bad with him. I know he likes me, there is a definite friendship and bonding element to all this but I don't think that is enough to expect a man to run and get a divorce. Link to comment
stingray Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I don't really care about that. I know someone else who is in a similar situation and she constantly thinks about the man banging his wife, especially at night. I can honestly say its never crossed my mind in that way. I don't really care, I just know what we've got is incredibly hot. I don't want to date him. Its weird, I just want to have him over at my place or go to hotels and be very bad with him. I know he likes me, there is a definite friendship and bonding element to all this but I don't think that is enough to expect a man to run and get a divorce. Why don't you forget him and find someone with a less complicated issues? Don't you find any other men you see walking around attractive? What you are looking for here is acceptance and basically the okay to continue with this arrangement. I can say very confidently you aren't going to get that here. Link to comment
avman Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Thread closed. Has run its course. Link to comment
MaJoad Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Why don't you forget him and find someone with a less complicated issues? Don't you find any other men you see walking around attractive? What you are looking for here is acceptance and basically the okay to continue with this arrangement. I can say very confidently you aren't going to get that here. acceptance? maybe I'm just venting and getting opinions. perhaps I am merely a simple attention * * * * * . isn't that what a message board is for? does everything have to be by the book? if anything people are finding this thread very interesting and replying so I think I am contributing to the board well enough. And I cannot control who I am attracted to. yes there was a choice to meet up but the initial attraction just happened. Link to comment
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