Leighton Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I absolutely hate it! It's like the whole world stops, your heart races, and in a way.. you feel better because they actually care. That's how I felt today when he texted me, anyway. I had woken up and was in panic mode because I had so many dreams about him, it was awful. I checked my phone, and there was his number. And I opened it and felt all of those things. The worst thing is, I feel like I have to reply. His text said: "Just wanted to wish you a merry christmas. I know you hate me but I thought maybe you could put that aside for a sec and wish me one back. Ur on my mind" Now I feel like, if I don't wish him one back, I'm being immature or rude. Even though what I really feel like saying is, why even bother caring if I wish you a merry christmas when you have your new girlfriend? I have been 9 days NC and I'm so so proud of myself, that I just don't want to break it, even for a nice gesture such as a Merry Xmas. Of course I feel relieved in a way that he texted me, I don't think it means much bc he likes someone else now, maybe he just didn't wanna come off as a complete a**hole. I am in no way over him, but this NC has at least helped me see we will never be back together. So what do you guys think... would it be rude/immature if I didn't respond? Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 It would not be rude or immature if you didn't respond, it would be smart. Link to comment
Spondence Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Did he cheat on you...or break up with you...do you want him back...sorry I dont know your backstory but if any of the above I would not respond. Link to comment
Leighton Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 He didn't cheat on me, but he fell for another woman at the end of our relationship, and he didn't admit it until I broke up with him (which I did because of distance, and because I knew he had feelings for this girl). I don't think I want him back, and even if I did, there's no way we ever will be. Link to comment
Spondence Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I dont see any good in responding being that it only serves him and not you. Make him think a little bit about what he lost. (am I being too mean..) I dont know it's just my opinion. It's christmas and everybody is nuts right now. Stay strong. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 He didn't cheat on me, but he fell for another woman at the end of our relationship, and he didn't admit it until I broke up with him (which I did because of distance, and because I knew he had feelings for this girl). I don't think I want him back, and even if I did, there's no way we ever will be. Then I think you know not to respond. I know it's tough to be the "bad" one, but if you don't want him back or think it's going to cause problems, who cares how you're perceived. You're doing well with NC! Link to comment
Leighton Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 The bitterness in me wants to respond and say "Tell *your daughter* I wish her a merry christmas". And not even mention him hahaha... but I won't do that. Gotta be the bigger person. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Nah, don't be bitter. To add to what Spondence said, let him wonder. He's not a part of your life and not entitled to anything. When my ex texted me Merry Christmas this morning, my impulse was to say it back. But some good people reminded me about a time that she messaged me and I replied, and she wouldn't STOP after that. Sometimes they want to know they can get a reaction out of you. Let them wonder..."Is she having fun? she didn't reply...maybe she has a new boyfriend..." You're in control. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 That feeling when they contact you.. .. I wouldn't know. But since he has a gf, I would not respond. Link to comment
jul-els Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 You're not obligated to do anything. Don't take the guilt trip. Link to comment
Spondence Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 The bitterness in me wants to respond and say "Tell *your daughter* I wish her a merry christmas". And not even mention him hahaha... but I won't do that. Gotta be the bigger person. haha...that's something I would think... Link to comment
Leighton Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Aw.. MissKitty *hugs*. That's the thing.. if I don't respond, I know exactly what he will think. I know him so well, and he will think I'm being an immature brat and that I'm full of hate and rage and I'll never change, etc. I know this because he's said it a hundred times. And that's the only reason, I want to respond, to prove to him that I am NOT those things. But then it's like... why do I even care what this idiot thinks of me?! I don't think I'll respond. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I wouldn't. I know that feeling you're talking about.. I get it every time I see the caller ID pop up on my cell phone. And my phone call with him last night made me feel worse afterward. Nothing bad... just, not good. Stay strong girl! Link to comment
regular joe Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I think your not responding would have something more to do with the fact that he has another girlfriend already. If he really cared about you, he would have stayed and tried to have fix the problems, instead of finding someone else. If that's you in your avatar, You are absolutely beautiful and if I were you I would not worry about it. You must have them lined up down the street. Link to comment
Leighton Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Aw thanks regular_joe... that's really sweet Link to comment
regular joe Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Leighton, your welcome. I was just stating the facts. Your ex must really be a fool and will realize it someday. Link to comment
SULLY323 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Leighton, your welcome. I was just stating the facts. Your ex must really be a fool and will realize it someday. Maybe he has, hence his text. But then again, he probably did it to be in a win/win situation... if you do answer, he's got control over you. If you don't, it makes him look like the good guy Link to comment
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