Women Are "Turned Off" By Bisexual Men?

[bebelight]

Personally. I would be turned on by a guy who was confident enough to admit guys turned him on. Confidence and self comfort is pretty darn sexy.

 

Sure. A handfull of my guy friends "transitioned" to being gay by saying they were bi, but so what if you date or hook-up with a 100% man-loving gay guy? There is really no harm in people discovering themselves. When my ex-bf came out as gay not bi, he told me, "I guess your beautiful blue eyes tricked me into thinking you had a penis." Can you say total compliment? Never regretted dating him.

[vertigoxo]

Personally. I would be turned on by a guy who was confident enough to admit guys turned him on. Confidence and self comfort is pretty darn sexy.

 

Sure. A handfull of my guy friends "transitioned" to being gay by saying they were bi, but so what if you date or hook-up with a 100% man-loving gay guy? There is really no harm in people discovering themselves. When my ex-bf came out as gay not bi, he told me, "I guess your beautiful blue eyes tricked me into thinking you had a penis." Can you say total compliment? Never regretted dating him.

 

Hahahaha, I love this post!

[1WayTicket2Norway]

Personally. I would be turned on by a guy who was confident enough to admit guys turned him on. Confidence and self comfort is pretty darn sexy.

 

Sure. A handfull of my guy friends "transitioned" to being gay by saying they were bi, but so what if you date or hook-up with a 100% man-loving gay guy? There is really no harm in people discovering themselves. When my ex-bf came out as gay not bi, he told me, "I guess your beautiful blue eyes tricked me into thinking you had a penis." Can you say total compliment? Never regretted dating him.

 

lol thats awesome. i wish there were more people out there like you

[bebelight]

Aww thanks but there are definitely loads of accepting people. Crossing my fingers for the day when the government grows some balls and stands up for gay rights.

[cantexplain]

Sexuality is typically defined by orientation, not behavior.

 

It's irrelevant who you sleep with, who you have slept with, etc. It matters who you desire to sleep with.

 

For example, I am no less homosexual just because I've never had a homosexual experience. Similarly, I could go through the motions and sleep with a bunch of women, but it wouldn't make me at all heterosexual unless I was actually drawn to the activity. ie, a homosexual person can have heterosexual sex. But giving him a label of "heterosexual" only makes sense if he is orientated (attracted) to the activity.

I agree with this ^^^^. Key is this distinction between orientation and behavior.

 

The words "heterosexual or homosexual" used as an adjective can be used to describe orientation or behavior. To me the meaning of the word depends on how it is used. If used to describe behavior, then I can be heterosexual tonight and homosexual tomorrow.

 

Now when either word is used as a noun (e.g. someone is a heterosexual or a homosexual) then this absolutely describes orientation.

 

About orientation: I do not think I can identify anyone a homosexual or a heterosexual. How they are sexually-oriented is for them to know, feel, and define. Only you know your orientation.

 

Therefore, thinking about all this further (thanks to this thread) I do not think it is my place to define or identify your orientation. I can't know you in this way. Now you could tell me what your orientation is, and if you give me permission to share this info with others, I might repeat what you say about your orientation. I might then identify your orientation according to how you have identified your orientation to me.

 

Now back to the question of this word bisexual. If I was being simultaneously aroused and/or arousing a man and a woman at the same time, then ... to me ... this would be bisexual behavior. When the word is used to describe bisexual orientation, (as a noun) this means to me that this person is attracted to both men and women sexually AND will engage in homosexual and heterosexual behavior accordingly.

 

People who I have known to describe themselves as "a bisexual" (e.g. bisexually-oriented) have either have eventually settled into one orientation -- hetero or homosexual. This has just been my observation in life. It does not necessarily mean that it is true. But this is why I do not include bisexual as an absolute category of orientation. Used as a noun, for me, I will think the person is in transition between the two more absolute categories of orientation.

 

Finally, I must also say that if someone wants to say they are a bisexual, then I am not in any position to deny them this right to call themselves a bisexual. At the same time, my experience will also leaving me suspecting that it is only a matter of time before they will be calling themselves homosexual or heterosexual -- or in such a relationship so defined -- or in the sack experiencing homosexual or heterosexual behavior.

[cantexplain]

Uh, (maybe this should be for another thread) but I think all humans are essentially bisexual. Where we as individuals fall at any given point in time along the bisexual continuum (of heterosexuality to homosexuality) depends on many genetic and social and emotional circumstances. I believe that one can experience heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior in a lifetime. I believe that one's orientation can change; thus one can have both orientations in time. We all tread this continuum. Some of us move quite a long distance accross it. Others do not.

Aww thanks but there are definitely loads of accepting people. Crossing my fingers for the day when the government grows some balls and stands up for gay rights.

On the civil marriage issue, New York and California do not have such balls. Iowa does. This is interesting to me. I definitely support same-sex civil rights. Homosexuals are people above all. I don't see why they can't enter in the same social contracts as heterosexuals. It just seems very prejudicial otherwise.

[vertigoxo]

cantexplain- I absolutely agree with everything you just wrote here. You're right... Bisexuality is a very complex thing when you think about it. Many so called bisexuals I have met throughout my life are usually always into heterosexual behavior and enter heterosexual relationships. I suppose they have sex with the same sex because it's "risky" and "daring", sorta like a married heterosexual man checking out a gay website just to see what it's like.

 

I suppose there are true bisexuals out there that are equally into men and women- But I think they are very rare people.

 

I think women are beautiful, sexy, worthy of affection, love, and understanding. Boobs are awesome! But really, I strongly prefer men to be in a long term relationship with in the future. That doesn't mean I'll turn down a woman's favor of being with me if I happen to fall in love with her.

 

Love is genderless, after all.

[greywolf]

I agree that many 'bisexuals' out there aren't really bisexual and are just experimenting; however, you can't say that it doesn't exist. I don't just go out to find girls to have sex with. I was in an actual relationship with a woman for 2 years. I would hardly consider myself heterosexual.

[vertigoxo]

I agree that many 'bisexuals' out there aren't really bisexual and are just experimenting; however, you can't say that it doesn't exist. I don't just go out to find girls to have sex with. I was in an actual relationship with a woman for 2 years. I would hardly consider myself heterosexual.

 

Oh no, I do know it exists. It's just really rare for a person to be TRULY bisexual, you know? According to studies, heterosexuals dominate the world with "bisexuals" being quite rare in numbers, and homosexuals even rarer in numbers.

[diabolik]

I'm not the target audience for the OP, so I won't address that, but there was some contentiousness about STDs that should be cleared up.

I'm not sure what the statistics are, but I think women who have sex with bisexual men are at an increased risk of getting AIDS.

This is true. HIV rates are higher amongst MSM than strictly straight men. It stands to reason that women who have sex with MSM are at greater risk for HIV infection than women who have sex with straight men.

 

As sugardonut goes on to mention, you can always get tested before engaging in sex.

I don't see it as a masculinity or fidelity issue. However, the much-increased chance for HIV and other STIs make dating a bisexual man a "no" for many women.

Right, MSM have higher rates of most STDs, not just HIV. That is a fact. Again, testing can assuage those concerns.

Straight people can get HIV and other STDS! Gosh, are we all just gonna assume all people who are gay/bi/etc all have diseases?!?

No one said straight people don't get STDs. But men who have sex with men have higher rates of nearly all STDs.

 

Then I have been at high risk of catching an STI with the bisexual female partners I have had which is the majority....

 

In theory I should have the mega rotten crotch.

 

Or do female bisexuals have a stronger resistance to STIs?

I hope you aren't being serious. If you are, this shows a profound misunderstanding of how STDs are transmitted.

[wipedout2]

My husband is bi... though he tells me he is not. He has had fantasies for years. A year and a half ago I found an email where he was trying to hook up with someone. He convinced me it was fantasy and that he had never done it (showed me the email history and they had not hooked up) Then last week I accidentally opened a window of a SLS page and his profile. Looking at the histories he had clearly done it two or three times. I am still sorting out how I feel. Betrayed. Hurt. Disgusted. I know its wrong of me to feel the latter, I just need my man to be masculine and the idea of him sucking some guys or getting in the rear upsets me. He has no relationship with these guys, just sex. NOW that he has been caught he swears he had an epiphany and realizes that he can have the desire and not have to act on it, similar to his having desire for a female and not acting on it.... because he chooses to be with me. I just really am at a loss as to how to deal with it al.

[lukeb]

I think it would have been better to start a new thread, because this is really a different topic. You're going through many of the emotions that you would have if he had cheated on you with a woman. That is the central topic here. You need to as always make a decision that you want to be with this person with all his flaws. I think you are complicating things by introducing your homophobia into this, by wanting your man "to be masculine" Is better to reduce it to simpler issues, can you forgive him for cheating on you. Can you accept that you can not fulfill him completely sexually? There may be things that he can not do for you sexually, are you willing to work on that? Is he allowing you to be the person you are. Are you allowing him to be himself. These are not one way issues they way you are looking at them now, they go both ways. The way I see it that would be the way to deal with it. Try not to stay in limbo with this. Be who you are and let him be who he is.

[agent1607307371]

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