Revolution Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I don't know how to deal with this. every girl I approach who is nearly 100% my type, always has some form of mental disorder, almost always Borderline Personality Disorder. She'll like the same type of music, appreciate my intellect, and will have similiar interests, even be my physical ideal...but she'll be a BPD girl. why does this always happen to me? I get sick of it, I want to find a girl who can instill those exact feelings into me, but without her being a BPD case (or not displaying the symptoms) Is there something I'm doing wrong? is it all me? why does this always happen, that every female I meet and am REALLY attracted to has a mental disorder? I know you don't know, but maybe you guys have some insights. thanks. Link to comment
Christiana Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 maybe you have BPD?? just kidding. I had this same problem. all my ex's were either OCD,co-dependant,bi-polar or something else. I just assumed I attracted weird guys. don't think u can do much unless you start going for other types of girls. It could just be that you find something in the BPD traits attractive and don't know it. or it's just a serious coincidence. Link to comment
Keyman Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Dude, everyone has a mental disorder of some kind, most just don't know it yet. So, date them anyway. Link to comment
Christiana Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Dude, everyone has a mental disorder of some kind, most just don't know it yet. So, date them anyway. good point. Link to comment
DN Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 BPD is prevalent in only 1 - 2% of the population. Are you sure that these women have been clinically diagnosed with BPD? link removed Link to comment
Christiana Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 BPD is prevalent in only 1 - 2% of the population. Are you sure that these women have been clinically diagnosed with BPD? link removed yeah, maybe their just moody or have depression...that's more common! Link to comment
Nidania Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 yeah, maybe their just moody or have depression...that's more common! We get like this sometimes Link to comment
Christiana Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 We get like this sometimes yup! my husband probably thinks I have BPD ;-) Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I think there are just a lot of screwed up people out there. Most of the people I know have some kind of personality issue in one form or another. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 apparently, 1 in 4 people have a mental disorder. Link to comment
gary1958 Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Dont date a BPD chick/guy..Its emotional death....I have the papers to prove it Link to comment
Seymore Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Are you sure it's a mental disorder or plain ol' immaturity? 'Cause if that's a mental disorder, I'd estimate about 80% of the people your age suffer from it, no offense. But it goes away with time (I hope). Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 You're 18. It's not BPD. It's called being a teenage girl. I'm only half kidding. Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 apparently, 1 in 4 people have a mental disorder. Which makes you wonder how we define "mental disorder". Link to comment
EvergreenKat Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Not to worry. I am much older and am asked myself the same question in the past. My problem is that I trust too much and try to believe in what people tell me.....even when their tales are a bit out of their imaginary life. I liked the movie A Beautiful Mind. BiPolar's are excellent actors and actress to get what they want. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'm Bipolar and I wouldn't date someone who was untreated. Treated, yeah sure. But there are too many cases of untreated mental illness out there. I think you should start asking yourself what attracts these women to you, and if you don't want to date these types of women, change that aspect about yourself. Link to comment
mad rabbits Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Well, I've heard crazy people are good in bed... Maybe you have a sort of "rescuer" complex? Does it make you feel good and powerful in a way that the girl your with doesn't have her act together? Not being rude, just exploring possible reasons why this pattern may be recurring... Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 It really is unlikely that you just keep meeting BPD girls. A LOT of young women have problems in terms of mental health, ditto young men. Its a case of judging people on character, how they treat you, etc. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Well, I'm schizotypal, bipolar, know a lot of people with simmilar problems... But I suspect that these girls might have been interested to get rid of you as soon as possible and therefore behave and/or say something about a possible illness... Link to comment
Regeta Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I don't know how to deal with this. every girl I approach who is nearly 100% my type, always has some form of mental disorder, almost always Borderline Personality Disorder. She'll like the same type of music, appreciate my intellect, and will have similiar interests, even be my physical ideal...but she'll be a BPD girl. why does this always happen to me? I get sick of it, I want to find a girl who can instill those exact feelings into me, but without her being a BPD case (or not displaying the symptoms) Is there something I'm doing wrong? is it all me? why does this always happen, that every female I meet and am REALLY attracted to has a mental disorder? I know you don't know, but maybe you guys have some insights. thanks. I honestly don't know. I have the exact same problem. In fact, my first real girlfriend (the one that was more messed up than any of the rest, who emotionally abused me) is now practically homeless, and still just the same. Some type of personalities just attract the wrong types. Almost every girlfriend I have had has clearly had a disorder, or multiple disorder. I know for a fact one was Bi-Polar (her mom was diagnosed with it too), and a majority of my ex-gf's had been raped. I have no idea why, but something about my intelligent, open personality attracts girls who have been the victim of rape. Often within the first days of meeting a girl, I will hear her blurt out her past and how she was raped. Almost ALL of my ex-girlfriends or ex-flames were raped in their life if not sexually abused or neglected as children. I've only ever dated ONE healthy girl, and she was the one who lied to me, saying she was 21 when she was actually 17. She also had the exact opposite religion as me, which we ignored until her muslim parents forbid her to date me. (This was before I figured out she was 17, and her parents thought I was 17-18...I didnt know that either, lol). If you find the answer, please tell me! The only thing I can think of is this: Girls with disorders (which cause them to be lonely bc they scare off men) painful pasts, or things that make them crazy all have a high need and desire for a deep, intimate relationship. Because of this, they want a serious relationship, and thus are attracted to things like intelligence, depth, warmth, genuine honesty, and a guy that can make them feel a certain way. All the non-messed up girls are LESS attracted to these things, because tehy do not want to settle down yet and instead enjoy "playing the field", "playing the game" or for whatever reason are more attracted to shallow traits that are more likely to conclude with a TEMPORARY relationship that is FUN as opposed to traits which appear less attractive because they foreshadow a long-lasting serious relationship that is full of LOVE. Link to comment
Regeta Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Well, I'm schizotypal, bipolar, know a lot of people with simmilar problems... But I suspect that these girls might have been interested to get rid of you as soon as possible and therefore behave and/or say something about a possible illness... One would have to be an extremely intelligent, manipulative, and skilled individual to mimic a definite type of mental disorder to one that is actually educated in the matter. My entire family are psychologists, as am I, and over the years I have gotten a very good feel for when a girl has a serious disorder over when she is faking it. The biggest example would be that a girl who is faking a disorder is more likely to admit to having the disorder. They will think "The faster the guy believes i am bi-polar, the faster this ends." so they will probably admit it with a smile, hoping that seals the deal. People who ACTUALLY have a disorder will be a lot more likely to deny they have this disorder and deny the disorder's tendencies. There is a higher chance they will say "No I'm not the crazy one, YOU are the one with issues!!!" They will always have a higher sensitivity rate and thus be more aggressive in denying any allegations that they are the one with the problem. The clearest example that they truly do have a disorder is when it is quite clear that their view of what is "Normal" is skewed. Their disorder has shaped their entire life, so their version of normal will often be different from what is truly normal. This helps to explain why they're more likely to say "I don't have a problem. YOU'RE the one who is [different]!" Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I believe that the whole universe is insane. Anything else is just redundant. Link to comment
solsticefall Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 "Why is every girl I find myself falling for have a mental disorder? " Every time I reach in the bag of M&Ms I pull out a red one. There *is* an obvious reason why. I'm just saying. j/k Link to comment
jazzykat Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 What did you Major in - out of curiosity..? Link to comment
Jmant Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I'm in the same boat as a few of you. I too am trying to figure out why the ladies I've been involved with have had some personality/mental issues that fall outside of the realm of what "normal". I feel that these girls are generally attracted to me because they admire some of my character traits and stability. I do have a lot of compassion for helping people in general. Even my name means healer in greek. lol. I'm fairly emotionaly mature for my age, and that tends to draw out many girls with "daddy issues". I generally feel an attraction to these girls because they are usually very creative, mysterious, spontaneous, and generally interesting for some reason. Link to comment
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