Guy friend says he would like to practice with me

[g84]

I've never experienced sex before, and i also have never done a few other sexual things. The most i've done (years ago) was a little bit of kissing and just a bit of touching.

 

I have a pretty close guy friend that i hang out with every few months when he's in town. He's been in a relationship for a good few years with his girlfriend (who is also a close friend of mine). We all met a few years ago.

 

From what i've understood about their relationship, they seem to be in kind of an open relationship, or at least, they are somewhat interested in exploring that kind of relationship with eachother.

Neither of them has had sex with anyone else, but i think they've kissed other people, touched, etc.

 

He knows that i'm inexperienced and that i sometimes feel curious about certain things regarding sex. He has recently told me that if i ever wanted to practice anything with him, he would be very comfortable doing that with me. For example, if i wanted to put a condom on him, or touch him, or anything like this.

 

I definitely see him as a friend. I wouldn't want to cross the line and do anything with him, but he has assured me that he and his girlfriend/my other friend, are definitely okay with it. He says that they've both known me long enough to understand where i'm coming from, and my intentions. They trust me a lot.

 

But, i know that i'm pretty sure i'd feel really bad if i did anything with him. I'm not used to the idea of touching or doing anything with a guy that i'm not actually with.

 

I'm also afraid that it would make things feel strange between us. On his part, i don't think it would bother him very much. But from my end, i think i would feel out of place.

 

The fact that he's in a relationship also definitely adds to all of this. Even though i know that his gf would have no problems with it at all (seeing as how he's done a few things with other girls, and she hasn't reacted negatively), but it would still feel wrong/odd for me. : [.

I can see myself feeling ashamed afterwards.

 

It's just that - the other part of me thinks: at least he's my friend and i can trust him a lot more than a random guy that i don't know very well.

It would be much better to explore things with a friend than someone else.

I really do feel curious at times, but i think i would probably walk away having regrets if i did anything.

I wouldn't be having sex with him or anything..but he said i could try little things, just so that i could feel more at ease in general, perhaps for the future if i'm involved with someone.

 

I don't know, what do you guys think? Would practicing small things help me in some way, or would it do nothing?

I have a feeling that it's not a good idea at all, but i thought i'd make a thread about it.

 

thank you

[SapphireNoir10]

My advice? Dont go there! If they are both your friends, no matter how 'open' their relationship is it could cause issues in your relationships and friendships.

 

Maybe Im old fashioned, but i believe sex and sexual stuff should be between you and a guy you like/love/are passionate about...and not just for the practice.

[HeartGoesOn]

He's just looking for some sex on the side. Don't fall for this.

[Kumatora]

He's just looking for some sex on the side. Don't fall for this.

 

Absolutely agree. He AND his girlfriend are looking to start an orgy. This isn't love. Sex is better when you have it with the person you truly love. Even your feelings are giving you a head warning that this is not a good idea... listen to them.

 

If he is your friend, he would not pressure you into having sex.

[itsallgrand]

I think you already know what is right for you.

 

More generally, personally I'd feel more comfortable practicing with casual date type of situations than a friend. If that is what you want, to gain some more experience. First of all; at least it can all be put up front and honest. I don't believe your friend is being honest with you in his intentions. Secondly, it's at least somewhat real.

 

I'm not speaking about hooking up with some random stranger for sex. I'm talking about the idea that you can date casually - dating without necessarily the intention of finding your life long partner, at least for a while.

 

You seem like a sensitive and sweet person. I saw this thread and then that it was made by you and thought "oh no, she totally deserves so much more than that." Yeah, I do think you'd end up hurt and feeling badly about it. And there is no reason for that - you are perfectly ok the way you are, and inexperience just means more excuse for practicing when you do find someone who you really want to experience it with.

[Lucius]

But, i know that i'm pretty sure i'd feel really bad if i did anything with him.

 

That right there should tell you all you need to know. This isn't a course of action I would recommend you take; it's not for you right now. Dismiss the rationalizations and listen to your gut.

[arcadefire]

Don't engage in "practice sex" with someone who seems as doggy as him. You would want to have sex with someone who is only having sex with you, and more importantly, someone who cares about you.

[Bella20]

No.. bad idea. Don't just do it like that.

[g84]

thanku for your replies guys

 

I guess i wanted to say two main things:

 

I've always wanted to experience things with someone that i care about/am in a relationship with.

But, I guess a part of me thought that if i practiced a few things with my friend, it might help my confidence a little bit : [. I know, though, that i'm not truly comfortable with it.

 

Also, concerning my friend, we definitely wouldn't be having sex.

It wouldn't go that far between us. I don't think he has any intention to force me into anything; it's really not his character at all.

I guess he thinks it would be fun to help me explore some things.

His girlfriend has the same outlook in general. I know it might sound a bit odd, but she'd actually be glad if i practiced with him. I think they both see it as being something fun.

They've really never put me down for being inexperienced or anything, though. It's not that they're trying to make me ''get it over with'' or anything like this. I just wanted to clarify those things. They've both been very understanding friends towards me in general.

[Bella20]

Look,

a guy who loves you won't care if you have no experience at all. It's not like he's thinking "oh I'm glad she practiced with a friend before otherwise I would dump her". And it's always nicer when you experience with someone you care about, and it means something.

You only get one shot at your first time, and you'll remember it for the rest of your life (even if it's first fingering or bj or whatever), so make sure you're happy with it.

 

Again, you don't need to practice with a friend who has a girlfriend who also happens to be your friend.

[gsxr104]

I know in this day, there is a lot of open sex. You say you've never experienced sex before. I would save any intimate behavior for your future husband. Give that to a man who really loves you. Can you imagine what a priceless gift that would be? One day you're going to meet a really special person and it would be well worth your abstinence to hold on to that till then. Save it for someone special, and not some guy who's patheticly trying to seduce you.

[waveseer]

Whenever you do meet a man you really like I'm sure he will offer you the same opportunity so why hurry to get your experience with someone else's bf?