Maya__A Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I broke up with my ex a little over a year ago. It was a stressful relationship, lots of fights. When I broke up with him I thought that it was civilised and we agreed to be friends (however he was probably just saying that). About a month after we broke up I called him to see how he was and he had change his number and not given me the new one. I left it at that and didn't try to contact him again. But since we've broken up I always here from mutual friends that him and his friends talk a lot of crap about me and they are trying to turn people against me. I don't know what to do? I've just been being the better person and not doing anything about it. But you would think after a year they would give it up. Any thoughts? What should I do? Link to comment
jettison Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Do nothing. It will just fade away like all these things always do. Link to comment
Spawn Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Maya stay away from finding out what your ex and others think about u... Be calm and...leave aside all your memories, hurts, anger, disgust etc and think whether should you be wasting time anymore on that or doing something better in life... Damn with them...people can be * * * * * ing about u, cookin up all kind ferkup stories but does it really matter as long as your soul knows the truth. Concentrate on your life...move on from all this once and for all. Be Strong!!!! Link to comment
mad rabbits Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Well, one of my exes and I ended on a bad note, but we tried to be civilised and we both said we wanted to be friends in the long run. Later, a friend of his (who I didn't even know) randomly threatens me over facebook! So I knew he had said some bad stuff about me. Then, a year later, my ex asks me out to lunch! :S What I am saying is, all kinds of stuff goes down in the heat of the moment, and in the aftermath. Just take this as he is hurting, as you are or were...and inquire no further. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Do nothing. It will just fade away like all these things always do. I totally agree with the above! There's no need to do anything. You broke up ONE YEAR ago, so there's really no reason to be chasing up after these things. Forget about it. Let it go and move on. It's the past and it's over and done with. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I believe this talking crap is all to do with making sure HE isn't the one who looks bad despite being the one who is. So to make sure YOU ar the one who is looked down upon he will make sure you are the one who looks bad. No one wants to look bad. Lose friends and possible hook ups. Pfft. Link to comment
mad rabbits Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I believe this talking crap is all to do with making sure HE isn't the one who looks bad despite being the one who is. Also very possible... Link to comment
gsxr104 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 This will all blow over. I would keep on doing nothing. It seems pretty childish to me that they would bash you behind your back. Link to comment
Maya__A Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 I believe this talking crap is all to do with making sure HE isn't the one who looks bad despite being the one who is. I never thought of it that way before. Because there are so many bad things that he did to me that I could say to others. Maybe this is just a defense strategy. He may not be strategizing at a consciously level, but by telling himself and everyone else that I was the bad one it makes him feel better. Thank you all so much for your input and kind words. Link to comment
mad rabbits Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 He may not be strategizing at a consciously level, but by telling himself and everyone else that I was the bad one it makes him feel better. I think that's probably on the money Maya, or I think its a combination of lashing out in hurt and trying to deflect guilty feelings..people are complex like that, their excrutiating behaviours reveal some mixed up emotions that they are not consciously processing but dealing with in the only way they know how...I think, in my case, that was what it was about.. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Someone PM'd me, thinking this was me, so just to say, not to get the two mixed up, looks like there is another Maya_A on here, so there are two of us... Link to comment
stella74 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Hi Maya, the people that really know you will not be swayed by whatever your ex says about you. The people that don't know you will also have their doubts about what your ex says because we all know to take things people say after a break-up with a grain of salt. Most people realize there are two sides to every story. Try not to let it bother you (easier said than done, I know). Also, with time he will stop talking about you. Link to comment
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