mikeca Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I want to send this sooooo bad... I might or may not, long story short, I started seeing a girl from work for a month, she moved an hour away, went to see her, made love for the first time, 4 days later shes done, she wants to start a new life without old memories (which im not apart of) she was abused by a previous bf and says she doesnt deserve this treatment and that she wants to be like that and shes not going to change, OH! and now shes dating someone from that city, not even a week after were done so im sending it, screw it im tired of being the nice guy all the time. YOU KNOW WHAT IM TIRED OF BEING THE NICE GUY HERE, YOU DIDNT HAVE THE * * * * EN GUTS TO TELL ME EVEN AFTER I DID "THE MOST ROMANTIC THING SOMEONES DONE FOR YOU" (GOOD ONE BY THE WAY), YOU KNEW MY SITUATION BEFORE AND STILL NOT EVEN A WEEK AFTER WERE DONE YOUR OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE, THATS * * * * EN LOW AND JUST A * * * * * MOVE, YOUR RIGHT YOU DONT DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE ME, BUT THE REAL SAD THING IS YOU DO, YOU JUST DONT SEEM TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF OR SEE YOU LIKE I DO, BEING ABUSED BY YOUR BF AND HAVING THAT CONSTANT PRESSURE ON YOU TO BE SOMEBODY YOU DONT WANT TO BE HAS WARPED YOUR SELF IMAGE, BUT YOU DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, EVEN AS IM ANGRY I KNOW IM GONNA WAKE UP TOMORROW AND THE FIRST THING I'LL THINK ABOUT IS YOU AND IM HATING THAT BUT I WILL MOVE ON. NICE GUYS JUST GET * * * * ED OVER BY DEVILS IN DIGUISE, SO THANKS FOR * * * * ING WITH MY HEART, SAYING ALL THOSE THINGS TO LURE ME ON, "I REALLY LIKE HIM" OR NEVER GONNA BE ALONE.....NICE ONE THERE THAT WAS A GOOD TOUCH, ENJOY YOUR MIND GAMES. YOU TOOK ME FOR GRANTED AND NOW IM GONE FOR GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR MISSING IM ONE IN A MILLION. * * * * IT. "Our past can shape who we are, but are actions shape who we become" THATS THE QUOTE I SERIOUSLY MADE UP LAST NIGHT HOW IRONIC IT IS. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 She destroyed the nice guy in you. I know what that is like. You're not tired of being the nice guy. It's what you are. . .maybe what you were. You were destroyed for being the nice guy by the way she abused you. It can take alot of time to heal from being shat on for being the nice guy. Re evaluating who you are, what you did wrong, only to find you did nothing and was thrown away. Just saying I know what you are going through. Wish things were not like this for you. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 was it all in caps? Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Oh look good on you for saying how it is and telling her off. Im not even sure what the whole story is but this week i have been doing the same thing- and its good that you have let it all out. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'm going to wait six months and tell my ex to her face what she has done after the time has passed. Right now she tells me I'm just hurting and I need to heal and in time I will. Geee Thanks....No, I am not going to recover and become another happy puppydogfaced friend bubbling with joy when I see her like she wants me to be!!! THERE ARE NO consolation prizes!!!! Link to comment
ChaosOrder Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 She destroyed the nice guy in you. I know what that is like. You're not tired of being the nice guy. It's what you are. . .maybe what you were. You were destroyed for being the nice guy by the way she abused you. It can take alot of time to heal from being shat on for being the nice guy. Re evaluating who you are, what you did wrong, only to find you did nothing and was thrown away. Just saying I know what you are going through. Wish things were not like this for you. Damn, you said it better than I ever could. The way you described it is pretty much exactly how I have felt. Especially the 're-evaluating who you are, what you did wrong, only to find you did nothing'. To the OP, I kind of get how you feel. While what happened to me wasn't quite the same, I know how crap it feels to try and do the right thing, try and be nice only for the people who don't give a damn to screw you around and still get what they want while you're left suffering. My incident was over a year ago but I still feel like I'm an entirely different person to what I used to be before it happened. Good on you for sending that to her. If anyone says that you've been too harsh or something just ignore them. And make sure you don't apologise or you'll regret it. I've sent a letter kind of like this and some people said I was out of line, and I felt guilty, and ended up apologising. The next day I re-thought things through and regretted saying sorry. I should never have apologised, even if some people thought I was in the wrong. I'd give you words of encouragement like 'things will get better' but I know those are meaningless. The only consolation I can think of is that as of now, you know not to go out of your way to be a nice person all the time. You've learned from your mistake and I can bet that you're not going to let something like this happen again if you can help it. Hang in there. I wish you all the best. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 About the letter. Hope she reads it. In my case, I had the chance to blow up over the phone. And did I ever let go yet I feel there is much more pain inside of me that I wish was'nt there despite her finally realizing the pain she had caused. She honestly never knew how much I was suffering. But yet she tried to stick to her guns firing bullets of excuses & hurt. Only thing is the pain of the bullets felt like nothing compared to the pain I suffered many weeks before. I fired my bullets filled with pain and anger built up from the weeks I was falling apart. More pain and anger than she ever knew anyone could hold against her. Enough to make her finally understand the deep wound she left me with. A wound no apology can heal. But still I was already torn apart and still with alot of sewing to do. I know I can still fall apart at the seams. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 was it all in caps? Ha ha, I was thinking the same thing! If you know much about typography, you should know that all-uppercase is difficult to read and comprehend and should be reserved for HEADINGS or for SHORT EMPHASIZED PHRASES. If she gets that thing in all caps, she might give up before she finishes reading it. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 as a former heartless troll that has received such letters (i'm not proud of it)... i can tell you that she probably ignored it all. don't let that one girl make you into the bad guy...i am going to use a blanket statement and say that you should save it for the next person who will appreciate anything that you do. * to add I blew up on my ex over 2 months ago now about him being a coward and his desire to not work things out yet be "best friends!"... and you know what, I felt like crap after, even tried to apologize. But you know what? What's done is done and I can't take it back... I do know that it was a long time coming, I hope that it works out in the future in which both he and I can use it for the good (whether it be to work on issues or moving on with life) and to this day I do not regret it... it happened. Don't let it drag you down if she does retort... be cool and collective. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Don't send the letter. It will be wasted on her. She is messed up and nothing you will ever be able to say or do will unmess her. I have been burned repeatedly for being nice...I am still nice to people in general...I just don't feel any need to be nice to the people who treated me badly. Yes, it hurts to be nice to people and have them crap all over you..but you know what..these people tend to be emotional messes and you wouldn't want to be like them..you wouldn't want to walk in their shoes...because no matter how hurt your are by their actions...your pain will go away....they are so emotionally f'd up that they will walk with pain all the rest of their lives and will throw away good things to chase after bad things and things that will make their minds even worse, not better. Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 haha she probably will be a coward and not read it, I feel pretty good today that I got to send that off, and its almost nice to know not to bother thinking of her and trying to help her, I know you cant help anyone unless they want to be helped. The weird thing now is I dont even care anymore, friends not friends LC/NC whatever its all down the drain. and i'm not going to stop being a nice guy, just gotta find someone who appreciates it. Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 The only real * * * * ty thing now is I came here in 2006 about a previous Ex...and it took me this long to finally find someone I could open up too, I was really picky about what I wanted in a girl and it doesnt even last a month and ends roughly the same way as my previous relationship the only difference is I got to tell this one off. I guess one blessing is it was only a month(we worked together before that) and not years like before, and like keith urban said "not knowing what we could've been; what we should've been" is allowing me to have a clearer head this time. Thanks guys again, I know this one wont be as bad as the first and I can already see progress in myself compared to the last time I was here, definitely have grown emotionally over the years. Link to comment
eleniebby Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 It's a good thing you told her how you feel. I know some people might contradict me and say you should've stayed NC. But sometimes there are things we just have to let out because its a burden to keep in. If it makes us lose that person forever then so be it, that just means they couldn't handle our feelings. With that being said good luck. Let us know how it goes if she answers. And im sure you'll find a girl thats worth it one day so don't stress her. She may be the first girl you've had real feelings for in a long time, but she won't be the only. Link to comment
sexylove7975 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Good for you! At some point it becomes too much and you just have to say your piece and walk away. I have for sure felt like writing something like this many times. I think we all do. It's frustrating getting pushed aside like you are nothing when you tried to give someone your everything. Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 I'm glad I didnt over think it and send it a day or two later, kept it right in the heat in the moment felt so much better afterwards, today at work (where we both used to) was tough but definitely manageable, especially after Europe - The final countdown came on the radio, I just started laughing at that cheesy song, and I began to keep a mantra in my head that shes the one who lost out on something special, I'm a great guy and all that etc.. Although I wouldnt recommend doing exactly this if your interested in getting back together, i just find more help in this forum than others Link to comment
beerock Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 that is some real shiiiit Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 that is some real shiiiit LMAO. I have to agree with you. Just sending the letter can help the nice guy which is needed. Pride, dignity and self confidence stripped. The nice guy never asks for this pain and MUST do what stops the pain from twisting them up inside for being someone who should be loved, not abused. If letting the abuser know what they have done helps then do it. Give them what they gave you. I know some of these abusers don't even know how abusive they have been. Treating guys like that before as they deserved it. Taking on the traits of thier ex's and throwing it on to someone who doesn't deserve it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 LMAO. I have to agree with you. Just sending the letter can help the nice guy which is needed. Pride, dignity and self confidence stripped. The nice guy never asks for this pain and MUST do what stops the pain from twisting them up inside for being someone who should be loved, not abused. If letting the abuser know what they have done helps then do it. Give them what they gave you. I know some of these abusers don't even know how abusive they have been. Treating guys like that before as they deserved it. Taking on the traits of thier ex's and throwing it on to someone who doesn't deserve it. My ex knows exactly how emotionally abusive he has been...I have indeed raked him over the coals for it...did it make him learn anything...nope..it just egged him on further. It is his source of entertainment...the more upset I got, the worse he behaved..no conscience, no guilt. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 My ex knows exactly how emotionally abusive he has been...I have indeed raked him over the coals for it...did it make him learn anything...nope..it just egged him on further. It is his source of entertainment...the more upset I got, the worse he behaved..no conscience, no guilt. The situation you are in is riddiculous. I assume this male is in his 40's too? Your ex has a big chip on his shoulder. There are psychological issues. A complication within your situation. Why he would rather have you writhing in pain. . .I'm not sure. Not in my nature. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 The situation you are in is riddiculous. I assume this male is in his 40's too? Your ex has a big chip on his shoulder. There are psychological issues. A complication within your situation. Why he would rather have you writhing in pain. . .I'm not sure. Not in my nature. Yes he is in his forties. I agree with your assessment of him. Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm feeling a little empty right now, I've been really strong since I sent the letter (especially with one of her friends I work with who tried to talk about it) but now tomorrow I will be passing through her town on my way to my Police physical, and im just thinking on how she was gonna be there for me to lean on and told me to text her the second i found out if i passed it or not, I imagine its that emotional crutch and extra boost that you get from being in a relationship that is what im missing here. I know I will pass this and move forward...just right now before bed its an empty feeling and I've felt empty for far...far too long Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.