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A frustrating experience with a girl online

grymoire

By grymoire
in Dating Advice

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waveseer Rising Star

waveseer

Posted
Posted
This is exactly what I said, along with the smiley:

 

Actually my profile id is XYZ (i have mentioned it in the subject line of the email)

 

If that is interpreted as me trying to prove her wrong or i have a chip on my shoulder then so be it. I deserve some other girl that has more sense than this.

 

Have you asked yourself why you found it necessary to mention that you already told her instead of simply supplying the information again?

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Ariel85 Enthusiast

Ariel85

Posted
Posted

Yeah, but Gry - she did get your number right, so maybe that's what's really bothering you.

 

She said you seemed like the type who wouldn't let things go, and she's 100% accurate about that. I mean, look at this thread? Over what?

 

She made a judgement that you were incompatible based off limited communication. It should just be respected, and not challenged, because all you did, was prove her right in her decision not to meet by NOT letting it go with her.

 

I'm sure if she saw this thread, she'd roll her eyes.

 

Any other prospects that seem promising? I think this horse is long dead, no?

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grymoire Community Regular

grymoire

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Yeah, but Gry - she did get your number right, so maybe that's what's really bothering you.

 

No, she did not get my number.

 

She said you seemed like the type who wouldn't let things go, and she's 100% accurate about that. I mean, look at this thread? Over what?

 

She made a judgement that you were incompatible based off limited communication. It should just be respected, and not challenged, because all you did, was prove her right in her decision not to meet by NOT letting it go with her.

 

I'm sure if she saw this thread, she'd roll her eyes.

 

Any other prospects that seem promising? I think this horse is long dead, no?

 

I refuse to even make any comments about the rest of the post.

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lady00 Grand Master

lady00

Posted
Posted

And the "not letting go" thing was what she perceived after receiving the second message from you, which is understandable. That does not seem to have anything to do with your profile though. I'd take it as, she saw your profile, read your emails, felt you were not a good match based on all of those things. Then she got annoyed when you emailed her the second time to ask for further clarification after she had declined to provide such details (declined by omission and by giving you a vague response).

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need2bme Mentor

need2bme

Posted
Posted

Holy crap! After everyone giving their 2 cents, which the OP asked for, it descends (at least for him and a couple of others) into "you guys gave your opinion, but I don't agree and I don't like it, so I am going to let you know this".

 

Gimme a break. Why can't you deal with facts and not opinions or guesses?

 

1. She wrote that she wanted your profile ID, which BTW, she could have put that in there and NEVER noticed it was in the subject line...she realizes it and feels stupid...then you point this out to her.

 

2.You know (hopefully) as well as I do that texting (or in this case, emailing in the OLD world) rarely conveys emotion and when it does we may take it through wrong way.

 

3. She wasn't interested and when you found this out, you shouldn't have been either.

 

I don't understand why someone cannot feel what they want. At any rate...how this got to 9 pages bewilders me (of course, here I am posting on the last page).

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LAYAAN Veteran

LAYAAN

Posted
Posted

I don't know... maybe its a cultural thing... I would make nothing out of what was written in the parenthesis. I would be like... oh okay... I guess I missed it last time... may be I wasn't paying attention, not a big deal! thanx for pointing it out! Its not the end of the world... I would be relaxed about it.

Yes, what would bother me was his asking again for clarification or reasoning. That would make me feel uncomfortable b'coz then I've to give a real reason and I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But I would not send a rude remark like that girl did. I would just not send anything. I would stop communicating.

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Timbone Explorer

Timbone

Posted
Posted

I've had something similar happen to me, Grym, so I don't understand it either.

 

A girl expressed interest in me on a dating site that I had let the subscription lapse. I Winked back to see if she was still interested, then she wrote. I had to re-sign up to read the message, so I did. Wrote her back a nice, non-offending email, and then nothing. She's a real person, not some computer construct that was designed to get me to sign up again, so I can only discern that she was an art snob who didn't talk to digital artists (she was a traditional artist).

 

Tried to initiate contact again a couple weeks later, still nothing. Wrote her off, but I was pissed since I had signed up to specifically talk to her.

 

So yeah, I don't know why they do the things they do either. Just odd. I feel for ya, man.

 

I do think that you should have some good pictures of yourself taken and put them up on your profile though. I'm no Adonis myself, but i don't want that feeling fo a girl bailing on me because I'm not good-looking enough for her.

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Brightest Dark Explorer

Brightest Dark

Posted
Posted

I think asking for a reason as to why she was no longer interested is what irritated her. I don't like when guys ask me why they are not my type. Not sure why she expressed an interest and then didn't bother - except maybe you were an 'ok' one that she was hovering on - and then when she looked back later decided you weren't really her type after all. I was hovering on a pic of a guy on POF today. He had decent hair (compared to the vast amount of bald guys that I am NOT into!) and face was ok so I was thinking 'well he's better than most of the guys on here' - but at the same time he didn't make me think 'wow' - so in the end I just left his page. But maybe she went the other way and expressed the interest and then just later decided she wasn't so keen after all. It happens.

 

It IS really awkward having to explain 'well, I thought you were ok last week but I've decided you're not really cute enough'.

 

what would have been better is if you had really, really needed to know, you'd have done it in a jokier or nicer way - like 'Awww, you've broken my heart! Haha. You not interested in a coffee?' - that way you're not interrogating her but at the same time you're still giving her the option of saying 'I'm afraid you're not my type' or something to that effect if she wanted.

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AnotherDude Rookie

AnotherDude

Posted
Posted
I agree with waveseer, the part in the brackets was unneccessary and a bit rude (ie. DUH I sent it already - even though you didn't say that, you insinuated that).

 

That said I don't tend to judge someone based on one lil thing like that... and secondly even if I had gone off you, I wouldn't have sent the rude emails she sent.

 

Oh well no big loss Gry, she seems very stuck up!

 

Ammy

 

I am sorry but if you find something so minor insulting, then I don't see how you can function in the world we live in. It wasn't unnecessary at all. Had she been paying even the slightest bit of attention to the subject of the message, she would have answered her own question.

 

Do you really want to date a girl who makes a silly mistake like that, then rights you off just because you politely corrected her?

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