Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[setmefree]

Guys need ur advice...

I got dumped 1 months back, initially I did all the mistakes like begging, crying, apologizing etc but she gone cold turkey and told me to be best friends for sometime. Now, I want to follow NC to get over this pain but the BIGGEST problem is -- we are co-workers, works in same shift and resides in same locality, we also share same company provided transport. My job is good and I don't want to leave it. Please advice me the best way of NC in this case.

Thanks

[mike7788]

So you don't love me anymore? After * * * * ing everything?

You just one day decide that's it? Say i bug you, piss you off, you don't love me? well * * * * you

You don't just stop loving someone, i hate you so much. how could you * * * * ing do this to me. you were everything to me.

Now i hear you're seeing the guy i was suspicious about the whole time we were dating? real classy, lying piece of * * * * .

Here I am everyday a struggle, a marathon, while you laugh off your little sprints, you'll get yours, and don't * * * * ing think of coming back when you do!

[broken17]

exactly how i feel.

[Zohariel]

The pain is overwhelming. I wish you knew just how badly this felt.

[Jaimie]

It's now 8 days since you ended it. We spoke on the phone earlier tonight after I'd spent the day making stupid mistakes like texting you and emailing, trying to persuade you to change your mind. On the phone, you hammered the stake straight through my heart once again, underlining that its over, and there's no going back. It's my fault for putting myself on the line I guess, but if you truly love someone then you have to fight; you can't just give up, even if it hurts.

 

Things ended so abruptly that I'm still in shock. The pain I'm feeling right now is overwhelming. I can't eat; I can't sleep; my whole body aches; I feel like my chest is going to explode. I feel like everything is pointless, and I only see darkness when I look to the future. You have a ready-made support network to help you through this, but I don't, and that is making things worse. I'm sure you'll get over me quickly, and I'll be flailing in the misery for god knows how long.

 

It's pathetic, I know. I need to man-up and take it on the chin, but heartbreak defeats everyone, even the strong, and strength is no match for the torture of lost love. As the old saying goes, 'you're never more alone than when you lose love', and that's exactly how I feel right now.

 

Images and memories of us keep flashing in my mind, and I fantasise about being able to travel back in time to each of these memories and just start again from that point. I keep waking up in the morning hoping that it's all a horrible nightmare, but the crushing reality very quickly takes over.

 

I'm a ghost in your life now; and like a ghost, I can see you, and reach out to you but I won't be able to touch you ever again, and that just kills me.

 

The pain is unbearable and I want to be in your arms so badly, but I know that's never going to happen again, and that is destroying me.

 

As the line from that poem we both love goes: "I dream of a green garden, where the sun feathers my face, like your once-eager kiss'...

 

I love you with all my heart darling. I don't know what I'm going to do without you; I just don't know where I go from here...

[mkwanrocks]

So I'm moving tomorrow. I wish you were here to keep me from freaking out; I wish you were here just to talk to. I still miss you so much. I feel like I'm throwing away everything I built over the last few years like how you threw our relationship away after a few months. But I guess I need this fresh start to begin my life anew. I hope you're good. Be well.

[trishlove]

I have no idea what the hell you want. You're on the rebound now and you just told two nights ago that you love me and that you miss me. I wish that you would just tell me that you hate me and that I should go to hell. I know I wasn't the best person when I was with you. I hated who I was when I was with you and I just want to forget that person. I am trying to change myself for the better. I am trying to change my life for the better. My new life doesn't involve you in it.

 

No, I don't want to be friends. And I'll keep avoiding you. So what if you think I'm immature. It's not immature to turn your back to the past filled with hurt and resentment. You said you want to let me go. Then let me go and accept the fact that I'm disappearing completely.

[Emma8]

Not been here for a while. Probably because I have been weak and responding, breaking no contact. You are still with her yet still contacting me saying you love me and miss me but dont know what you want. Your just messing with me because you are unsure of your feelings for the past 6 months. Its been awful.

 

The contact is becoming less and I know you are trying to move on now. Youve realised how horrid you were to me and hopefully now you are letting me go,stopping the mind games and playing with my heart.

 

Its my bday Friday and yours Saturday. I wont txt you but i know you will txt me on mine. This time last year we spent it together. Its going to be so hard this year to think of you with her instead. Makes me feel sick.

 

I miss you, despite everything. I wish I change things but I cant, I wish I could let you go. Just gonna take longer than I thought....xxxx

[Tom1990]

Congrats and stuff. As usual, I wish I could share in your latest moment.

[Robin2904]

This weekend was a first for me. I'm proud of myself and I can honestly see I'm closer then I ever have been to being over you totally. I knew I would see you around, and I was okay with it. Usually the thought of running into you has given me terrible anxiety and I would stress it, but this time I really wasn't. I did get a few moments where I felt a little anxious but it was okay. On Saturday a friend of mine said she saw you around at the pool on Saturday afternoon, which I was greatful I went out with my other friends on a shopping trip so I didn't see you. Funny to me how you came up to her and was like 'I think I know you but I don't remember your name' and she said to him 'Yeah I don't remember yours either' LOL I love her! I wonder if you realized she was my friend, if you were just playing a game there....probably. I wonder if when you saw her you wondered if I would be around.... I mean I did RSVP for this so I'm sure you did expect to see me. So Saturday night came. We got down to the party late, I was super drunk, but I looked GOOD. That was my number one goal, look hot, and I accomplished it. I got there, and was dancing and it was super busy so I didn't see you right away. Then I did notice you a few times. Got a little anxious but not bad. I KNOW you saw me. We probably even made eye contact a few times but there was no way in Hell I was going to go up to you and I'm so proud of myself for actually not. It's something I've tried to do before and failed, but this time I really didn't. And I know you saw me...I made a point to dance with every boy I could find on Saturday night. Immature? Maybe a little. I caught you looking a few times. It felt awesome. I had a lot of guys on me and I was dancing super sexy, probably not productive at all but I hope it bothered you. At one point I did see you a little cozy with one of my friends and it bothered me for a second....but I just let it go. I took a minute, deep breaths and I was okay with it. I KNOW this shows progress, the old me would never have been able to do that.

 

Sunday night you were around too, which surprised me. I didn't expect it, it was much less crowded Sunday and if there was any doubt you saw me Saturday I KNOW you saw me Sunday. You were by yourself a lot, just kind looking like a creeper, not gonna lie I enjoyed that. I know you were watching me and my bestie as we danced to Kesha...how could you not, we were the center of attention. I'm just proud of myself SO much. I never thought I would be able to be in a situation like this and not acknowledge you, not say hi, or not get totally upset and have a panic attack and let it ruin my time. Part of me then feels like maybe the ignoring thing was a little immature, but you could have said hi also. I wonder if it bothered you that I didn't even so much as acknowledge your presence, I hope so. But after the way we left things I'm seriously fine with never speaking to you again. Going to see you in March was the dumbest thing I could possibly ever do, and you made me feel really crappy when I left, didn't even say anything to me after that, treated me like I was a stranger. You want to act like I'm a stranger, guess what I can do that too!

 

So now there is no reason to ever so much as acknowledge your presence again. Any time in the future I may run into you at a situation like this I'm confident I can do just what I did and pretend I don't know you. I did feel a little sad Sunday night, mostly because my friend was upset about something and it made me a little sad, I remember saying something like 'He didn't even say one word to me, didn't come up to me or anything' and her other friend who is a guy said- that probably just means he isn't over you. Whether that's true or not it doesn't matter but it made me feel a little better. But when I thought about it the next day it doesn't even matter. What matters is I got through this weekend better then I ever would have. It probably would always bother me a tiny bit to see you, especially with someone but it wasn't like it's been in the past. I'm really proud of myself.

[trishlove]

I feel like crap right now. I'm beginning to remember everything we once had. The classes we went through together, the early morning assembly at the hall, the candle light dinner dates, the time when we walked from your place to mine, they're all coming back to me now and I can't believe that they're over. I have so many regrets. I regret the fact that I took you for granted. I regret the fact that I've hurt you with my words. I regret the fact that I've been selfish. I'm sorry, I know that I wasn't a good person to you, and if you left me instead of cheating on me, you would've been the better person.

 

Thank you for atleast making me happy. But I just can't believe that you will be the one who would do this to me. I love you. Good bye.

[clarkyyeah]

Feel like face planting the keyboard today.

[soybeans]

Every single day when I wake up the first thing on my mind is you. I'm so sick of it. It's like before I even fully open my eyes you are there. It's so frustrating, I don't want to think about you anymore. I feel so down today. I remember last summer we would spend so much time together, days on end me staying at your apartment, going to sleep together and waking up next to you, having breakfast and going to the beach or laying by the pool. And now I have no one, nothing at all. I just go to work or go to class then come home.

 

I know that I was miserable sometimes during the summer. I just don't want to see it. You were so horrible to me but I took it anyway because I wanted to be with you...maybe I just wanted to have someone so badly that I didn't care if you yelled at me sometimes or said mean things. I should realize it is better to be alone than to have that treatment. I wish I had some friends to help me through or to go out with but I don't. I feel so pathetic, like I'm just floating through life not enjoying it.

 

I've been feeling depressed since I saw those new pictures of you. And as of recently, I am slowly realizing that you never truly loved me. Yeah, it took me this long to snap out of it and come to my senses. I opened my heart to you, trusted you, and I loved you with everything in me. This realization feels worse than the actual BU.

[sunshineband]

Hi my lovely. I thought I was doing better the last couple of days, and starting to believe that I would get over this quicker than I thought I would.

 

But then a new wave of pain has hit me today and I am really struggling again. My life is divided into two parts - the things we shared together and the things I will never get to share with you. I even bought a Cadbury's Creme Egg today just because it reminded me of us eating them together after sex one day.

 

I wonder if you really understood why I had to end things. That I realised that if you could go behind my back and call me fat and ugly just as I was beginning to trust you cut me deeply. And that if you could complain you had very little money to go on dates and then pay $80 to some online tart to keep her quiet made me realise that I was never going to be at the centre of your life. That I would always be looking over my shoulder wondering if you were betraying me again.

 

I remember you saying it was your job "to make me happy" and me replying that all you had to do for that was to be yourself. I didn't realise at the time what a pointer that was of how dysfunctionally you see relationships, that it's not what you do to make each other happy (though that's nice), but that it's about riding the peaks and troughs of being with someone, and loving them completely. It's interesting that when I played the "that makes me so unhappy" card when we had a disagreement, thinking that would strike a chord with you, it didn't at all.

 

I still can't believe that we will never speak to one another again, that we will never see each other again. I can't believe that we will never snuggle up in bed together again. I can't believe we will never make each other laugh again. I keep thinking about the time we spent together in York and on your birthday and how fantastic that was and I can't believe we'll never have good times like that again. I wonder if you'll think about me on your birthday next year.

 

What I am proud of is that you seem to have resisted your temptations so far, even with it having been pay day. And part of me wonders if you're doing it because I urged you to, or because one day you will prove to me that you have kicked your habit and you'll come back for me.

 

And part of me thinks I'm still your password keeper for your netbook. I wonder whether you'll ever need it. The link is still there between us.

[incaangelique]

Day 5 of no contact. You haven't even noticed that I'm gone.

[Heidern]

"I know who I am, I know who I wanna be and I'm happy hope you are too!"

 

That was something, wasn't it... 3 months NC and that's how you break it. Hope you realize not too late in your life that happiness isn't some sort of drug you get by replacing someone who was loyal to you for 6 years. Life has taught me that happiness comes from within, and I'm beginning to be at peace with myself. I've got to keep on working so I can provide myself a better life because I deserve it.

 

This is all about me now. I'm taking control of this s.h.i.t.

 

Oh yeah.

[trishlove]

Last night I had an interesting conversation with a mutual friend of ours. I can't really say you're friends with him, though; probably just civil. I realized that both of you seem to secretly hate each others' guts. He told me that your rebound (the other woman) looks like a horse and had a good laugh about it. I know she looks less attractive than I am. I saw it on Facebook, but he told me that she looks way worse than she does online.

 

"How the hell does her face look like when he bones her?!"

"Hell yeah, she'd be pretty with lights off"

"He looks like an idiot coming from you, a pretty girl, to her; a chick with a busted face!"

 

It made me crack up, thinking how it's probably not only him who sees the situation in this light. Here's the more interesting part of our little conversation. He just broke up with his nagging girlfriend two weeks ago. We were talking about helping each other out in the dating scene: introducing each other to different people and networking. That went on until we looked at each other, both single and miserable, and laughed.

 

"Misery loves company, and would we really want to work our butts off trying to reel in innocent and happy people into our miserable lives when we have each other on the same spot?" I asked playfully.

 

That was when we decided to make a deal. We'll be rebound buddies. I'm not into this to make you feel like crap (you do resent him and told me not to even consider dating him before). Okay, maybe that's partly the reason. But I'm mainly into this because after two months of living like a neanderthal I am thinking that it's time to have myself a piece of fun with someone who I can get it from.

 

Hurrah for me!

[sunshineband]

Here I am again. I wish I could stop thinking about you so much, but thoughts of you seem to fill my head all the time. I am haunted by the ghosts of what we shared together, what we could have had now, and what might have been in the future.

 

I've gone all humpty again and life is scaring me now. This is the black-and-white I didn't want to go back to, after life in glorious technicolour with you. I feel very alone and I miss your emotional support, your physical presence and your amazing sense of humour.

 

I still look out for you and wonder how you're doing. Why were you on the dating site yesterday? Were you looking for me? Or for someone new? It's unbearable to be cut off from you, to be out of your life and to be just me again instead of you + me.

[martyfarty]

i * * * * en hate you, * * * * * . i'm starting to see all the crazy signs. no wonder you been in and out of all the relationships that you have been in. i might have felt insecure about the relationships at times but your twisted ' need a safety net, a shoulder to cry on' bull * * * * is what makes it all * * * * ed up. can't believe I've been with you for 2 years. telling me that you have been married only for paper work 1.5 years later. conniving ass witch!

[sunshineband]

Ok so you are online. NOW. On the dating site where we met. And it's less than two weeks since we broke up and less than a week since we talked and you said it felt like you were losing the love of your life. So much for believing anything you said then!!! I am so cross at you for not being able to get a grip, for not being able to control yourself and for throwing our future together away for cheap thrills. I am better off without you, and I will get another chance at finding someone better.

[soybeans]

Ok so you are online. NOW. On the dating site where we met. And it's less than two weeks since we broke up and less than a week since we talked and you said it felt like you were losing the love of your life. So much for believing anything you said then!!! I am so cross at you for not being able to get a grip, for not being able to control yourself and for throwing our future together away for cheap thrills. I am better off without you, and I will get another chance at finding someone better.

 

Hey, I know how that feels. I went through the same thing with my ex- we met on an online dating site and then two months after we broke up, there he was. I couldn't really be too mad, because I think I reactivated my account like a week or so after. But still, it hurt to see him back on the site.

 

I still have him saved under my 'favorites'...that's how I originally found out. I never removed him. It's been a while now, and we're both still on there so I sort of take comfort in the fact that he hasn't found someone. But at the same time, it does mean that he is dating and seeing others casually

[sunshineband]

Hey, I know how that feels. I went through the same thing with my ex- we met on an online dating site and then two months after we broke up, there he was. I couldn't really be too mad, because I think I reactivated my account like a week or so after. But still, it hurt to see him back on the site.

 

I still have him saved under my 'favorites'...that's how I originally found out. I never removed him. It's been a while now, and we're both still on there so I sort of take comfort in the fact that he hasn't found someone. But at the same time, it does mean that he is dating and seeing others casually

 

Online dating sites are so public once you know someone's username you forever have that link .... I'm not back on any online dating sites myself, but in times of weakness, when I miss him, not hate him, I sometimes google his okcupid profile to remind me of where it all started and give me some happy memories. Or at least it did that a couple of times, now it feels like I am spying on him! I always thought the fact that he didn't deactivate his profile while we were going out together was just because it's tricky to do ... maybe in reality he was just keeping his options open.

[soybeans]

Online dating sites are so public once you know someone's username you forever have that link .... I'm not back on any online dating sites myself, but in times of weakness, when I miss him, not hate him, I sometimes google his okcupid profile to remind me of where it all started and give me some happy memories. Or at least it did that a couple of times, now it feels like I am spying on him! I always thought the fact that he didn't deactivate his profile while we were going out together was just because it's tricky to do ... maybe in reality he was just keeping his options open.

 

Yes, exactly, once you know its there you can't help but look. I mean, I know for me this is true. Its really my only way of connecting with him since I blocked him on FB. I can't block him on OKC. I can 'hide' his profile from my match results but thats about it...

 

I try not to look at his profile (anonymously!) but sometimes I'm just curious to see. I can see on my homepage when he edits his profile or answers match questions. I find his answers to be interesting, as he is now very public about his drug use. Before, when I first met him, all of those questions were no where to be found. I was under the impression he just smoked pot occasionally. His profile was also much different, he made it so wholesome, sweet and innocent. Now it is ridden with arrogance and he cut it down a lot.

 

I also feel like I'm spying on him. It is what it is. I wonder if he has looked at mine. He hasn't shown up in my visitors but he could have looked anonymously like I have for him. I doubt it though.

 

And- he never disabled his account? How long were you together? Did you ever bring it up to him? Surprisingly, my ex and I decided together that we would disable ours, and that was a happy night for me......little did I know he had an account on another site. A paid site, at that

[Tom1990]

Blarrrrrrrrrrrgh * * * * you get out of my head stupid * * * * * .

[soybeans]

I'm making a lot of realizations about you. It's all sort of overwhelming in a way...

 

I just realize that no matter what I did in the relationship, no matter how good I was to you, it would have NEVER been enough. I could have ripped my heart out of my chest with my bare hands for you and you would have still stomped all over it. And you know what else? I never really knew you. I thought I did. I thought we were close. But you were hiding so much from me. Just sucks when I was totally open with you about my life and wasn't sketchy. I was 100% loyal to you from day one and you know that. You took advantage of my niceness and you also know this.

 

I have to stop blaming myself for your sh*tty behavior. You'll realize it one day what you lost. If not, then I seriously believe theres something wrong with you.