Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[r0ckox]

too many things to say. some good, most bad.

I'm better though. I got everything off my chest that was bothering me. I even wrote a decent email taking blame for lots of things.

You said nothing about it, and the 4 times we talked after that... still nothing.

 

I am doing better though.

I'm not sad anymore. I'm content, and no... not lonely either.

That's what you thought though, you thought I was just lonely.

 

It's not loneliness if it's the only thing you know. It's only loneliness when you have feelings for someone who doesn't have them back.

Yet, you didn't have these feelings -- and you still spent months and months and months talking to me, getting "jealous" and acting like you did.

 

then, after all that time, and all the bullsh*t... it's "im not ready. i can't give you what you want right now."

 

yeah... right.

 

Go hard or go home.

[Robin2904]

I feel like crap....FML....

[azulcosa]

I saw something on TV that reminded me of you. I could have just ignored it and blocked it out. But today I decided to let the emotions come out. I'm feeling better after that. I remember I was at the grocery store earlier and saw the taco section. I remembered our taco night and how you forgot to bring some of the key ingredients for the tacos. I laughed a little. Miss you babe.

[track85]

I wish you would get out of my mind, i saw your facebook you drinking, wearing skimpy clothes and a bunch of guys commentating on your pics and it hurt but ah well I will get over this.

[Kev0s1983]

... So many things.

 

... As with every other person's anecdotes I read on this website I've found, you used "forever", "always", "destiny"...

 

You said I could trust you.

 

You said you wouldnt break my heart again.

 

... As you looked me in the eye, "Im not lying, I promise you baby, tust me..."

 

... I should be ashmed for not trusting in you.

 

... I had a drinking problem.

 

----------------------------------

 

You said so many things. I have left my workplace of 12 years, my friends, most of my family and moved continents. Yet, here you are, looking over my shoulder as I type this. Holding my heart, occassionally squeezing, sufficating and draining it.

 

Forcing tears from my eyes. Making me feel despair like I have never known and what hurts the most is that I knew. But I kidded myself. I drank because I wanted to sleep and forget the reality so clear to me and many others but would I listen to my gut? My instinct? My friends? Family?

 

If there is karma, baby girl, I feel for you...

 

Your mother emailed me twice in one day to beg me to let her know I was alright, she was a mother to me I never had, as was your brother. They became my family too, you took everything from me.

 

Day 35 and in a world of hurt.

[Kev0s1983]

I have come accross a song, I dont know if it would be seen as plugging a band but it sort of helps me. Even though the song is a sad one, it seems to calm me - "Little Dragon" - 'Twice'. Look it up, sometimes it makes me smile and others... Well, not so smiley

[Robin2904]

I'm such a friggin idiot.

 

I texted you after I told myself I wouldn't. I'm so disappointed in myself today! And I don't even feel good- I feel worse! I was polite- said your sister told me you lost your contacts, so here is my number. Hope all is well. Then you said 'Thanks. Are you busy?' I KNOW what that means- you wanted to talk. Though what I don't get is WHY? WHY WHY WHY?????? It's been like 3 months since you even expressed any interest in talking to me on the phone- WHAT? I don't get it? Why now? We haven't texted in over a month- WTH is going on??? I'm so confused! Part of me did want to talk to you but honestly at this point- I don't even know what I would say? It would be terribly awkward and just NO. Texting is even awkward after our last encounter- I don't get why you would even want to talk after that horrible mess? You had NOTHING to say to me the last time you saw me, obviously- why is now different? I'M SO CONFUSED BY YOU!

 

So I listened to my best friend- I said yes I was busy. I was out, shopping. I know I came off like I had no desire to speak to you 'Yeah I am actually Then said I was shopping. Then like an idiot asked how your family was. It was awkward after that. You said good. Asked how mine was. Another awkward 'Good' and that was the gist of it. Gosh I waited a month for THAT? That was painfully awkward. I need to let the situation go and stay dead.

 

But WHY did you want to talk to me? It's bothering me!!! And WHY do I feel badly for brushing you off and saying I was busy? You did that to me for WEEKS last month- till I got the hint that you didn't want to talk. It's NOT fair that now you get to come out of the blue and think because YOU want to talk now, I have to drop everything and talk. NO! That's not fair! What about when I wanted to talk last month- you brushed me off GOD knows how many times. I felt awful. But why do I feel awful doing it to you now? Is it because part of me wants to talk to you? Part of me missed you? UGH!!!!!!!!! But I know it will be horrible- just really awkward and bad. I can't even imagine talking to you now after almost 3 months- don't even know what I would say! But it's really killing me- WHY DO YOU WANT TO TALK!!!

 

FHKHKSFNKFNSPNDGNPGDNKPNPSD!! UGH!!!! FML!!!

[Kev0s1983]

Hey,

 

I dont know ur situation very well but reading ur last post, I can kinda safely bet that this guy has had time without u in his life and there is a possibility that he is - tentatively - putting out feelers as to how u would respond/react to having him back in ur life. What context that is, who knows...

 

It comes accross as kinda lame getting his sister to do the dirty work and use an excuse like he lost his contacts? - So send an email ?

 

U feel lame I guess, cos ur a decent person, just cos he behaved like an ass doesnt mean you have to do the same. Ur replies didnt come accross as anything but respectful and dignified - so dont worry urself

 

I would say your the one in control, as I have read before, if he wants u back - again, in whatever context that may be - make him prove to u that ur worth the wait and the fight?

 

- Far from being an expert here but figured I would throw in my oppinion as a male!

 

Good luck with it and i guess use the old rules... If ur guna text back/reply to whatever, dont do so instantly and stare at ur fone or msn inbox sign or whatever. Stuff like that Besides, if your confused, it probably wont take too much for him to draw u into frequent contact again? Stay strong!

[Robin2904]

Thank you! I really appreciate this reply!! I was feeling pretty crappy with myself tonight- after I had posted on here after his sister messaged me and everyone pretty much told me not to reply. I felt like such a failure for replying. I am very conflicted and am afraid to let him into my life again- in any capacity. Even though I really yearn for it. I've spent months wishing for it but now I'm just scared. And I'm scared that he may just want to talk and be friends and I think that might hurt worse then not having him in my life at all.

 

Thank you for your reply. It really did make me feel better tonight!

[chiqueangel]

I am trying to avoid you because I want to move on with my life wherein fact you are the one who suggested that I need to help myself move on with my life. Yet, here you are, wanting to hang out with me. wanting to visit me at home. I don't understand why the hell you still want to see me. You broke up with me yet you have the guts to find a way to see me. I want to think that you miss me that's why you want to see me but that's not enough for me. You know that I am still weak because you know that I love you. I have to be strong and make you see that I will be fine without you. That you're going to miss me everything about me. You made the decision to leave. Now, I want to let you go for my sake to learn how to be by myself, without depending on you.

[strader18]

Hey, whats up. I just came accross one of our pics. We were both smiling. I don't remember taking this pic, but it looks as if we were having a good time. But anyways, Remember i tickets to go see your favorite singer? actually two weeks before we broke up. Well they just came in the mail! I'm debating if i should give them away? or just take some one else or maybe mail them to you???? huuuhh!!! I'm not too sure about that yet. but I'm going to sleep on it. But I miss you, have a good night.

[xiRoCb294]

Sometimes I like seeing you in my dreams, because that's the only time I ever get to see you. That's the only time I ever get to kiss you.

[delicous]

I miss you still...nothing has really changed...I moved on to another man and I care about him tremendously

and hope to fall in love with him one day! Im trying not to rush things between us...Trying to do it the

normal way.....but we already had sex many times and I think thats all he wants, I wish you were my friend

to give me advise about men like him.....After all, you were that man and you know me and knew me so well..

 

Im having a pretty hard time getting over you...I miss the gym we belonged to together...Im wondering

if you are still going there...I thought about signing up if u weren't going there anymore..So I asked your

friend that question....I don't know, it was just such a different type og gym or maybe deep down inside

I wish I can run into u... You know how dang scared I am of running into you and your new wife and kids..

TREMENDOUSLY!!! I hate to think she is more beautiful then me...And if she is,she definetly isn't as pretty as

me on the inside...I trully loved you and still do...

 

I keep dreaming about you... told myself I didn't want to dream about you the other night and I woke up

dissappointed so lastnight I said to myself I want to and there you were...You called me on my cell in my dream..

I can just see your first and last name lit up on my screen...I answered it and I can't remember what you said but

it was something sweet and careing and something the old you would say before you got married and got a girl

pregnant and decided to isolate me and not allow us to talk ever again..

 

You know how bad it hurts for me to think about the past? To think about how for a few minutes

you wanted me back...I WISH with all the power inside me and int he earth that we can rewind time

and I wish I called out sick from work and just came to you, let you hold me and let me hold you...

And talk and I wish you wanted me back again..Id come right away...Yes Id be hurting my new guy,

but it would feel so right for you to come back to me...

 

You screwed up so badly....You are so tied up now with marriage, kids, wife....Work....I just

wish I could of been your dream girl and not this girl...I hope you lKNOW how much I LOVE you

and how much I think about you...Every few minutes, I think....

 

Goodnight baby, see you in my dreams...Maybe you'll be having the same one!

I love you!!

[Starrgrl]

^ should you be in a relationship atm =/ isn't that unfair to the new guy as you're obviously still hung up on your ex? :sad: rebounding ain't going to solve a thing.

 

 

------------

I felt really sad on the bus today.

I guess... I am still stuck on certain aspects of what we had.

Despite you ripping out my heart, I still in a way miss you.

I feel frustrated that I can't move completely away from you just yet.

No matter where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing..

My heart feels completely alone.

[Starrgrl]

I have this sorta 'thing' with sb now (as in me requesting a non label thing, but they want exclusitivity). I'm not ready for a full pledged relationship. But if I'm completely honest with myself, when I'm with him or anyone else, I can't help gazing off and thinking about you.

 

 

I can't help it T.

I'm such a fool aye? =(

[chiqueangel]

I don't feel good today. I wanted to text you for me to smile but I have to stop myself from this since it might annoy you since you said that you feel like it's your responsibility to reply whenever I text. It doesn't mean that you need to make me feel like crap anytime you want me to. You want to see me, the next time you hate me. I gave you what you want yet you treat me like garbage. I hate it! I know I am not useless. I know I have worth and I deserve better. I gave you everything you deserve without asking anything in return but you still chose to break my heart. You're such an a******!!!!

[Starrgrl]

I miss talking 5 hours on the phone with ya haha

And staying up all night with ya and walking around outside in the dark

-hands clasped tightly.

 

 

 

I was always good with getting over things quickly. But this thing with you... It's different.

What I felt for you was completely real.

 

I miss you. I miss everything about you. You're toxic. But you were beautiful to me too.

[chiqueangel]

I have realized that there's no point for us to be friends. There's no point of communicating. What is your purpose to stay in my life, just for me to hang there so you can easily find me. I don't want that! I want serious stuff and if you can't give that to me, then I don't deserve to be treated this way.

[Starrgrl]

But in a way you're right

I'm 21

Why should I be serious and want anything serious

Why should I?

Why should I build up dreams and hopes

I should just float around

Just like you`

I shouldn't try to get close to anyone

That way I'll never have to weep another painful tear for anyone

At least not anytime in the next couple of years

Now I know

Maybe this is the best way to go`

Perhaps.

[Snowy]

Hang in there and keep up the NC guys.

 

You'll all heal and be well.

 

The more you think about your ex, the slower the day you are fully healed will come.

[chiqueangel]

I'm tired of thinking about you when I know for sure you're not thinking about me. I'm tired of feeling hurt and affected by you. I want to be happy without you. I want to be a better person. I want to forget you.

[Helpmetoheal]

Thank you for the kind words!

helpmetoheal and Bec83 - don't ever let anyone else make you feel like this, I sway my thoughts every day but now I feel strong, we are all alone as individuals on this planet no matter if we are married, with someone whatever. Just remember that. Your both women and so am I so make yourself look fabulous, lose weight/tone up, get healthy just do it now, get up and start making that change and don't stop, focus on being a better person. It wasn't your fault they left thye just didn't value you enough. Now go and make yourself valuable, do that by NC and by being the best you can be, so that you never allow this to happen to you again.

[Alpha Ghaz]

I'm not coming over to pick my * * * * up

 

P.S. Don't used my family members to get my attention.

[Helpmetoheal]

I really want to make things right with you but I know you will think I am still stuck on you and "holding you hostage" (your words). I need to heal, I am tired, depressed and angry a lot of the time. Please leave my thoughts and let me pick up what pieces of my life I can salvage.

[Love1336]

=) Things are looking up for me.

That's making me smile.