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azulcosa

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Apprentice (3/14)

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  1. Thanks for taking everything away from me. You took my heart, my friends, my self-worth, etc. But you know what - I have discovered I have so much more more to give to this world. You may have rejected me, but I now realized I've gained so much more compared to what you have taken from me. I no longer live in apathy. I value everyday I have on this planet and have accomplished so much. I have even surprised myself on how much I've accomplished. Everyday, my goals in life become clearer and I'm following all of my passions. I am now happy. I'm happy you aren't in my life anymore. Have a great life. I hope you find what you're looking for.
  2. I still miss you a lot and think about you often. Still trying to get over you and really want to call you to see how you've been. You seem happy in our mutual friend's photos. I hope you are even though I still feel like I'm in a deep, dark hole. I'll find my way out someday.
  3. Finally here. It's Day 30. I still feel like crap. But I have to move on. It's still a daily struggle, but I know I can do it. On to the 60 day challenge!
  4. Day 28 Darn it! I was doing so well, but I don't know why I feel like complete crap today? I just can't seem to pick myself up today. I think it's because of stress at work and feeling isolated since I'm going to be traveling on my own for the next few weeks. Easter didn't help. At Easter dinner, all I could think about was I wish he was here with me so I didn't have to listen to everyone talk about their all the great things in their relationships. Maybe I just need a good night's rest.
  5. Day 27 I have come so far. I still feel empty and occasionally get extremely sad. But I've been able to pick myself up and stop hoping for you to come back to me. I don't think you'll ever come back to me. But I know I won't be able to avoid you. We have too many mutual friends and we are bound to bump into each other one day. I don't know how I'm going to react when it happens. Hope you are doing well. Have a great life.
  6. Day 22 Almost there! I'm feeling much better. I have set tons of new goals for myself and I'm not going to stop! I had a list of things I wanted to do with you when we were together. Too bad for you, but I'm going to do everything on my own or with other people. You are missing out - oh well, it was your fault anyway for ending things. But I guess I should thank you. This breakup really forced me to not waste anymore time and do everything I have wanted to do. Life is short and I'm going to make the most of it.
  7. Day 19 Wow, the mornings are getting tougher. I had to cry a little today because your name came up a few times during the weekend from some of my friends. I am still trying to forget you. A part of me is sad you haven't cracked and attempted to contact me. But I'm also glad you are honoring my request to stop contacting each other. I feel like my brain is falling apart and you're moving on with your life. I need to also move on and find my own happiness. I know what has to be done - I just need to force myself to get over you.
  8. Day 16 I feel like running away. And I think I might do that. You are slipping from my thoughts. I only think about you when I wake up in the mornings.
  9. Day 12 Yesterday was day 12. As usual weekends are tough even though I had a non-stop weekend. I went on a date and spent time with friends. But I though about you a lot. I still wonder if you still think of me. One more day to get through before I can distract myself with work.
  10. Day 10 I'm starting to forget you. I am afraid I'll bump into you one day and it'll ruin my healing process.
  11. Day 7 I think I'm on day 7. I don't really remember anymore. I've been distracting myself with work and life. I went on a date on the weekend - of course, couldn't stop thinking about you. But I've been much happier lately. I'm now able to really focus at work. It's just only tough waking up in the morning and going to bed. I think the next 7 days are going to be insanely tough. But I'll get through it all. I've been listening to a lot of Death Cab for Cutie and White Lies. I highly recommend for those going through tough times and need a good cry.
  12. I had a dream I woke up with you in my arms. I miss you a lot today. I've been thinking about some of the things you've said. And I don't think I was being fair. When you broke up with me, you were seeking separation, but I was pushing to get us back together. It was not fair to you as I was ignoring your request. I'm sorry for that. I think I'll eventually get over you. But definitely doesn't feel like it right now.
  13. I was too good to you. I gave everything to you - especially my love and affection. And then you just threw it all away. I don't deserve that. I was the best thing that has ever happened to you and I hope I ruined all future relationships for you. No one will ever come close to how much I loved you.
  14. Day 2 & 3 In a deep hole. That's how I've been feeling the last couple of days. I keep telling myself time will heal my wounds and I'll move on like I always do. But it's just almost unbearable the last couple days. In the mornings, I wake up missing you. Which then leads me to figuring out ways to get back to you. Finding excuses to see you one more time. I just want to run away. Leave my current life and start somewhere new - somewhere I will never have to see you again. Somewhere I won't be reminded of you by everything in this city. I love you so much and I know we both don't have negative feelings towards each other. I tried to find some reasons to hate you - it's really hard to. I wish you the very best and hope you are doing ok.
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