Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Yostina]

I just hate you so much...

[nanana]

Hey ***,

 

It's only 2 weeks NC, and all that anger and hurt has fizzled out for me again. I'll never understand how I find forgiving you so easy. It's as if there's nothing you could do to me to stop me loving you. How pathetic is that? I HATE that.

 

So yep, I'm back to waking up thinking of you and wishing you were there. I'm not tempted to break NC, because I know it will just hurt me. But I'm back onto our good memories again. They say NC makes the bad memories fade away, and that's certainly happening for me. I just wonder if it has the same effect on you... Of course it doesn't. You have no reason to think of me. You used me as a way of helping yourself get over me, while adding to my hurt in the process. Get a conscience, please. See how unfair this is...

 

I keep having the little nicknames you had for me pop up in my head. Sitting in your kitchen eating scrambled eggs on toast. You picking me up and pretending to drop me every time I came to your flat. You holding my hand as we fell asleep every night. That final cuddle you'd give me before you left for work every morning. "I love you" being the last thing I'd hear before I fell asleep each night. The way you kissed me after we cried over G passing away. All the photos you'd take and look back on even when I wasn't looking my best. The way you were protective without being possessive. Our song. The way you'd put your arm around me every time we crossed a road. The annual 'christmas day' of our very own. Walking M with you.

 

I could go on and on. The bad stuff doesn't even matter right now. How awful is that? I miss you. The last time we spoke you told me you missed me. Does that still stand?

 

You said we belong together. When you were breaking up with me... You said we'll probably end up together one day. But then when I asked if I'm the only girl you want, you wouldn't answer. Which means no. You said that telling me I'm the only girl you want is the same as telling me you want to marry me, and that you can't say that. Do you know how much that crushed me? We're first loves, I don't expect you to know that you want to marry me. I know we both need to see the world.

 

I won't be waiting. And I won't be chasing either. One of the things I loved about us was that there was NEVER a third person. We never had issues with cheating or suspicions. But you destroyed that, and I can never go back now.

 

But I miss you. I loved you very much... I know I'm not perfect, but I'm going to be the best I can be, and maybe one day you'll miss me too. Because right now I can't even comprehend a Christmas or New Year without you. It's been fours years since I spent the holidays without you. Will you even think of me?

 

I'm still the same girl you met off the train that day... I just wish you were that same boy.

 

But I'll finish with what we always said.

I will always love you x

[Starrgrl]

Had a first proper date with the guy. Sigh. We hit if off real good and it's not awkward at all, and it's easy but. Sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I miss our spark. Not a physical attraction spark, but sth alot more deeper.

We had that right from the start. I can't get that with anyone.

 

 

 

This sucks. I had a good time, but I didn't even touch him once. I hugged him goodbye but yeah. I don't want to kiss anyone right now.

 

 

I miss our spark.

[Starrgrl]

Wonder if you miss it too? I feel so lost.

[Starrgrl]

Why did i just talk to you on msn? WHY DIDN'T I JUST STAY SILENT?? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

I still love you so much.

I'm shaking so hard right now.

[Flint_Wood]

Why are you still even in my head? GTFO yo!

[Cherrytop]

I cant believe i woke up this morning and was This close to sending you a message!......i talked myself out of it, how proud am i of myself!

 

You are not worth my energy. you made that clear the day you decided to disappear from my life, so why should i stress myself every morning.

 

I am strong, you made me weak, in time i will find my strenght again..

[Yostina]

I'm happy I heard your voice. I miss you H.

[Starrgrl]

Okay so why are you manipulating me? Why did you send me like 12 emails after I signed off from msn? You want to hear my voice? You want to just die?

 

God. You know, if you just stopped after the cheating I would have given you another chance. But you just kept on taking huge stabs at my heart. I'm NEVER giving you another chance, I don't care how you've been feeling, don't you turn this on me. You know how I feel, you know what I would have done to be with you. This time round, I finally see that you DO love me alot. And you DID mean it when you proposed back then, but you know what? What's love without trust? Without boundries? Without commitment?

What's love with respect?

What's love with empathy?

What's love without all of that?

 

 

I can see I did teach you a thing about real love. Not that lovey dovey infatuation crap. But you have a long way to go to learn about the rest. What it emcompasses. I dreamt about you three times last night. You wanna beg and beg, and believe me, if it was at start of July, I would have been more soft.

 

But now I see clearer. I don't want you in my life.

I was weak. No matter what, what we had was special. You know it, and I know it, that's why it's so hard to just move on.

But you know what T? Our story has ended. And right now even though I just wanted to talk about other things, you're not ready to do that.

 

I miss you. I love you. Believe me I do I do. I would have died for you back then if it was needed. You are special to me.

Issues and all.

I pity you. I'm frustrated at you. I'm scared of you. I was addicted to you.

 

 

 

 

But now I'm free. And I'd like to keep it that way.

[Starrgrl]

Ps. Things do happen for a reason.

Like you keep telling me, we ARE afterall soulmates. And bc of that, the bond won't ever die.

 

You just can't be in my life anymore.

[iBroken]

Im very surprised to hear from you.

 

Sorry I was so short - I debated not replying vs replying with something that acknowledged your effort.

 

As you can see, I opted for the latter. I did get your response however, there was nothing for me to reply to and at this point, we arent ready to go there yet. Rather Im not. But thanks for thinking of me. It is appreciated since I was certain that you forgot about me

[hairybda]

i am so missing you. i havn't had anyone hug me, or touch me.. in ages. i have gone out with a few girls nothing from them at all.i don't know whats wrong.

 

i crave someone to touch me or hug me. i wish you were here to talk to me.

 

i miss you

[Einah1281]

Had a date tonight and all I could think about the fond memories we shared in that same exact resturant.

 

I miss you so much

[hairybda]

i need more than sitting accross the table from you and chatting. i am craving

being touched and touching a woman. i've touched you many times you never touch back.

we have been hanging around 4 months now - you recoiled when i just wanted to hug you -

my needs are not being met ok - you either are screwed up, or your just not into me. lets

just quit now ok i am looking for another woman who i am more compatible with.

[The_Seeker]

I wonder if you and I will end like that movie Ghost of Girlfriends past. Will you realize I was the best option out of 100 girls?

 

Time will tell. Time after time.

[Cheetarah]

This is getting old, it's been a long time already. Why I can get past other losses and not you is beyond me. I would love to talk to you, to hear your voice again. It won't happen, and I just have to suck it up and deal, because you erased me. You just completely obliterated me from your life like I never existed. Destroyed the physical evidence and the mental and emotional, I'm sure. I don't get you. What did I do to you that made you want to do that? You claim I abandoned you, and that's BS. You're the one who kicked me out and drove me to the hotel, and told me to take the next flight home. It's like you completely rewrote history or something. And you don't even get it. The only thing you thought you did wrong was call me a name. A NAME, and not even a bad one. You apologized profusely for that, but couldn't understand that leaving me at that hotel, your eyes and voice turning icy, and shutting off your phone, not giving a damn whether I got home safe, and then blaming me for going home, hurt more than anything else. I tried, damn it. I tried. You wouldn't reason, and you made it all my fault. I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU. YOU TOLD ME TO GO. How can you get angry at me for doing what you asked?

 

I really loved you, and I wonder at times if you ever really cared, if any part of you did, or if it was just all a lie. If I was just a rebound in a series of perpetual rebounds for whatever last loss you had to deal with, or something to fill your giant black gaping hole that never got filled by anything. Probably. Probably I meant nothing to you. Just a tool.

[Starrgrl]

I hate that you're so messed up. I wish things could be different. You don't have any idea how hard it is to stay away from you. I love you so effing much! But you're going to destroy me even more. I must stay away. It's so hard. I love you I love you I love you!!!!!!

[Starrgrl]

Hey, slow it down whataya want From me

Whataya want from me

Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

 

There might have been a time

And I would give myself away

Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn

But now, here we are so whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

 

 

 

Goodbye Love. This time I mean it. I realise I can't keep you in my life. I need to step forward.

Love you more than you'll ever know. And will always love you. Believe me, T.

 

 

Bye hun.

[iwannarun]

You're going on a trip...and so am I. I know it'll be good to get away for awhile...but I know I for one will be thinking about you all the time during my trip. And I know you will too. We were never very good at being away from each other. Heck, I want to text you every second. But I won't. We went back to being friends again...and I know the reasons. We both feel the exact same way. We miss each other, and that's one reason for it. But the other....we don't want each other to forget. I hadn't cried for 4 days, since Monday. But last night in bed after you said good night...I did a little. Remembering that right now, you aren't mine. You don't have to give me anything, you don't owe me anything, and you don't have to be committed to me at all. And it sucks, thinking about that. But I know that you feel the exact same way...and thats what I remembered when I woke up this morning. We both feel the same. So why aren't we together? Cuz we need to mature, both of us. I haven't been really alone since I was 14. And I need to figure out who I am. And I know you do too. But gosh it's hard. I wish we could fast forward 2 years & be together again.

[Margot]

Hi...

I sometimes wondered if you think of me as I think of you. This time apart has helped me learn a lot about myself but also made me realize that you were not the person I thought you were. I can't understand how after 6 years together you became a liar, a manipulative ass, a just blamed me for everything. It was as almost you became another guy, not the one I fell in love with.

On the other hand, why you keep contacting me when you clearly stated that you don't want to be with me, that I needed to move one, that I changed you to a person you didn't like. I can't believe how bad you treated me at the end and how stupid I was because I was blinded by my love for you. Well after all that, why you keep sending me texts, sending me e-mails, saying stuff about your to my friends and family so they can tell it to me. If I went NC and don't respond to your messages why you insist in contact me and asked me stuff. I'm not answering you because you broke my heart, you lied to me, played with my mind, cheated on me, and after all that still claiming that you loved me and that you will never love someone like you loved me and that I was the most important person in your life. That's all BS because to the people you love you don't do this things. And you know what? I don't believe the stuff you write to me so I can believe that you are hurting and that aren't over me yet. Well I don't think so because just the very first second you dumped me you were with her and still hang out with her. Well please leave alone and stop contacting me. What do you want? You wanted me to move on, well let me do it at my own pace.

[biggestdork]

Its been so long. I dont know how I will react this time. Why is it that every time I hear about having to meet you, I start to spiral down another roller coaster? Why cant you just disappear for good? No expectation. No more waiting. No more worrying about how I should act when I see you. I want things to be natural. I dont like this.

 

I miss you M. but youve done me so wrong.

[iwannarun]

I want to talk to you so bad =/ I really wish I could just text you every day, all day like we used to..why is it so hard? I still have my best friend, after being so afraid I lost you completely. But I still cant tell you I love you, and that sucks. I wish I could tell you that I want a long hug. That I wish I could just kiss you again. And that I wish I could see you. It's been way too long since we've seen each other. I miss you.

[hulk7280]

I dont understand how after being together for a year, and you claiming you LOVE me.. you starting dating a guy 3 weeks AFTER you last left my arms.. and then two months later say your "in love" how could you possibly have fallen out of love with me and fallen in love with him in 2 months??

 

i thought you really cared about me and loved me.. but Now im not so sure..

 

i bet you couldnt even look me in the eyes anymore.. * * * were you thinking .. you basically have destroyed any future we have together, because now I dont know how faithful and loyal u are.. I know we werent techically together.. but 3 weeks??

 

I couldnt do that.. I wouldnt do that to you..

 

maybe I should have..

 

oh well.. Karma is a * * * * *

[mines]

I miss you, I can't allow myself to dwell on the memories of us together, it was all too perfect and when I feel them starting to flood in....I have to refocus and jump to a safe place in my head, my running, my daughters, anything but you.

 

You take up such a huge space in my house, your things are everywhere, I work with you, and we have spent so much time there talking.....I can't get away from you.

 

You are on vacation for work, four days, and it's near end of day 2 and I haven't emailed you at the address you set up for me. What would I write you? That I feel the same? That I love you? How many times can I write the same words and how many times do you really want to read them?

 

Truth is, you know how I feel about you and you chose to reconcile with her and give it a go. I wish you well. You love her more and I am 2nd and being 2nd major bites.

 

I can't let this destroy my life. You will notice when you return to work that I look better, more like normal, and you will see the glow again. I won't be defeated. I'm a distance runner, I can put my pain into my running and I will only be stronger because of it.....don't ever think you could stop me. No one can.

[Einah1281]

I'm sitting listening to "Say" by John Mayer and thinking of the last time I heard it while riding in your car holding your hand. Remember how you used to reach out to hold my hand while you were driving??....I miss those times. I wish you had not contacted me monday night, because now I'm remembering all of the good times. I'm wondering what you are up to?? Are you still with her??? Are you wondering why I have not responded to your text??? Do you even care???

 

Why did you throw it all away??? I loved you...but I guess that wasn't enough for you.