theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Yeah, I mean I understand the whole "dream" thing which is why I'm not standing in the way of the photo itself. But there's no reason to insist upon getting a girl to do it. And, no, he's not conceited about his appearance. He and his friend's reason for wanting the photo is that they'll only be young once so they want to keep it for all time to remember how they were at 23.... Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 XxJustMexX, Finally! Someone who understands my crazy bf. Anyway, when I told him I wasnt comfortable, he just said, he understands. But that wasn't an apology...it also wasn't a promise that he wouldn't get a girl to take the pics.... Link to comment
shikashika Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Yeah, I mean I understand the whole "dream" thing which is why I'm not standing in the way of the photo itself. But there's no reason to insist upon getting a girl to do it. And, no, he's not conceited about his appearance. He and his friend's reason for wanting the photo is that they'll only be young once so they want to keep it for all time to remember how they were at 23.... just curious, is this supposed to be some sort of posed photo? or the two of them just standing their starkcers by a white wall?? would you be fine if a professional photographer did it? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I'm actually pretty surprised with the amount of people in this thread who wouldn't "run for the hills". Not surprised in a bad way. Link to comment
EQD Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i dont think its weird personally. Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 I'm assuming its supposed to be posed. And yes, I would be absolutely fine with a professional photographer! But he was talking about getting a random chick to do it...! Link to comment
EQD Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 think about it.. if they got a guy to take a picture of two naked guys... its not something that everyone is 'cool with' because of the gay connotations. i'm assuming he and his buddy are best friends. "hey dude, can you come over and take a picture of me and (name) naked for us? then we'll go order a pizza and watch the game." dont see how that would go over well... idk, my ex had a really crazy friend who i found really entertaining. i could see him suggesting this to my ex.. hahaha. its funny. Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 EQD, so I should force myself to be okay with it so he doesn't feel embarrassed in front of a guy photographer? I don't think so. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I'm actually pretty surprised with the amount of people in this thread who wouldn't "run for the hills". Not surprised in a bad way. I just might, but I'm extremely intolerant. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I just might, but I'm extremely intolerant. I probably would. But, that's just me. Not saying the OP should, as she seems fine with it. Link to comment
EQD Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 EQD, so I should force myself to be okay with it so he doesn't feel embarrassed in front of a guy photographer? I don't think so. Who said that? lord no. i never advocate doing things you arent comfortable with. by all means dont take the picture. i just said i would because i find it entertaining. Link to comment
XxJustMexX Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 XxJustMexX, Finally! Someone who understands my crazy bf. Anyway, when I told him I wasnt comfortable, he just said, he understands. But that wasn't an apology...it also wasn't a promise that he wouldn't get a girl to take the pics.... Ya, I understand weird and crazy... I am the queen of weird and crazy. I know this is a dumb question, but does he realize how deeply you feel about this? Maybe he's not taking you seriously and he thinks you're just "being silly" and doesn't know how much it really does hurt you? He sounds like a cool guy so I'm sure he's not deliberately hurting you, and if he were that kind of guy then he's not worth being with. But seeing as he sounds alright, I'm thinking he's not taking it as seriously as he should and thinks you're just "tripping" and maybe doesn't know how horrible it really is making you feel... Maybe you should sit down and have a real heart to heart talk about it and show him how serious you are about it. Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Yea, I mean I don't think he's deliberately pushing my buttons. But my insecurities have been a problem for a while and though I've just started seeing a counselor about it, I think he's getting a little impatient with me. I called him this morning and told him everything I'm feeling. I'm not sure what else to do. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Yea, I mean I don't think he's deliberately pushing my buttons. But my insecurities have been a problem for a while and though I've just started seeing a counselor about it, I think he's getting a little impatient with me. I called him this morning and told him everything I'm feeling. I'm not sure what else to do. I really don't think you are being insecure at all, in my opinion. Link to comment
katt_marie Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I really don't think you are being insecure at all, in my opinion. yeah... not insecure at all. it makes perfectly sense the way you are feeling. what he's doing isn't right. Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 thanks, that makes me feel better. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Yea, I mean I don't think he's deliberately pushing my buttons. But my insecurities have been a problem for a while and though I've just started seeing a counselor about it, I think he's getting a little impatient with me. I called him this morning and told him everything I'm feeling. I'm not sure what else to do. I wonder how much of this has to do with him perhaps feelings sick of your insecurities in general versus his reaction to this particular situation. For example, if he was generally happy in the relationship, I would think that he would be more willing to talk with you and negotiate a compromise. What did he say in response to the call this morning? Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 He said, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal." And when I explained how it made me feel he just said, "I understand." Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 He said, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal." And when I explained how it made me feel he just said, "I understand." Did he apologize for not taking your feelings into consideration? Link to comment
EQD Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i am getting the vibe that he just says 'i understand' so you will stop harping on him... especially if its always you bringing up your insecurities to him over and over and over in a harsh way. Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Nope, no apologies. That's why I'm still angry. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i am getting the vibe that he just says 'i understand' so you will stop harping on him... especially if its always you bringing up your insecurities to him over and over and over in a harsh way. Do you really think she's being insecure in this instance? I'd probably break up with a guy if this scenario arouse. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 How is the relationship otherwise? How long have you two been together and how old are both of you? Are you two able to resolve conflicts together in general? Link to comment
theham2130 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 I don't bring up my insecurities in a harsh way. Him saying "I understand" means he doesn't take me seriously and thinks I'm overreacting. debaser, breaking up is an option...too bad I love him. Link to comment
EQD Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 not really debaser. but she has admitted to us that she is insecure and seeing a counselor for these issues.. which is a pretty big sign that she might have insecurity issues (obvious) plus the way she is fuming and his apparent apathy towards it, combined with how he reverts to the generic "i understand" response.. makes me think that he is maybe tired of having to mold himself to her whims and insecurities. .. if a person comes off as 'demanding' that their spouse understand their POV they tend to just take it as being 'naggy' and tune out most of what they say and feel after a while.. which may explain why he never apologized. Link to comment
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