Please Help, Quick! What should I do?

[BaciGrl]

Hi.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3yrs 9months, I'm 17 and I regret ever meeting him, I'm really scared of being in this relationship so long because of my age and I feel like I've been missing out on so many things like going out with friends, and all teenage dumb stuff.

This past year has been hell. I'm living with my parents of course, to be exact with a mother who has a problem with alcohol and is obsessive about other people's lives and a workaholic father who's working all the time, including weekends, and my boyfriend has been staying with us these couple of months bcos he feels if he doesnt sleep over he doesn't have time to see me and might as well break up(he's 21 and working).

When he comes around we always end up arguing bcos I need my own space and he doesnt understand. He says I have a problem with myself being in a bad mood and kind of angry all the time and we've been in this routine of if I don't change we'll break up. We just had an argument this morning and he went to his parent's house and told me we should have a 2week break until I sort my problems out. I feel miserable without him and don't have any real friends. I'm still studying and it makes it hard to study when I'm thinking about him all the time.

Should I end this relationship, or get myself a psychologist or simply suicide?

[jessr06]

sweetheart, dont even think about suicide. I thought being with my boyfriend for a year and 6 months was long, wow! I understand what your feeling. and to be honest with you. I sometimes feel the same way. Im 17 years old too, I feel that im missing out on things also. When he broke up with me in the summer because he was feeling that way, he came back to me. I am afraid to give in also. because who knows if ill ever find someone like him. I need my space to. I just want to get away and do CRAZY THINGS. But i dont want to put our relationship in jeopardy. Im scared to, but whatever your decision, make it for you, and not for him. IF he really loves you, and you know hell take you back. Maybe break up with him and tell him you need space. Who knows, chances are you probably will get back with him. Im not trying to scare you, but who knows if youll find someone like him ever again. You can always be friends. See- my boyfriend said we can be friends, but when i talk to him about it, hes like "no we will never break up" I can never get a straight answer out of him. He always thinks the best. I always think to the futur and say to myself "what IF" what IF he wants to break up when i still love him, WHAT IF i want to break up and come back, he wont want to do that" WHAT IF i cheat on him, even though i would never. WHAT IF just what if!~ Its so sickning. Hes a wonderful guy, but every time i want to talk to him about something, he always jokes around and never takes things serious. and im just waiting for "the day" when he goes. YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS. To the point were i can just look at him and just shake my head and say... all these years, and you werent listning.

Look..I feel the same way you do sometimes. Dont just give into your first feeling, wait awhile and if you still feel that way, than maybe its time to take charge... talk to him about it. It possibly could be HIM even. Who knows. But its not you... dont worry... I felt and still feel sometimes the same way... if you want to talk... you know you can talk to me .... jessro6 is my aim name... anytime

[bleeder]

Oh no, suicide is not going to be on your list my friend.

 

I do agree with you in that everyone needs their own space. Sorry for saying this, but I am sad that you boyfriend cannot see this point of view. Couples can blossom together, but we only flourish best when we have our own time and thoughts in perspective.

 

You will have to make your stand here. Let him know that you DO value your time alone, or with your own friends. Life is not just about 'couple time'. Let him know that when you folks are not spending time together, does not mean that you do not love him or think of him. This is all part and parcel of relationships. Be strong.

[monika]

Please understand how important you are in this world. We are hear to help you, if you ever need to talk we'll be hear.

[Jen]

Take suicide right off of your list. The psychologist idea was good, or maybe just a councellor that you are able to talk to. We/They are here to help you with anything that you need.

 

Jen