excited :)

[Daligal83]

I was set up with another guy from my hometown (about an hour away from where I currently live). I was there for the weekend so we met up for coffee. We ended up talking for 2 1/2 hours and it felt like 5 I had such a good time. We actually went to high school together but never really crossed paths. He was a year ahead of me so I knew who he was, but I was (am) a dork so he had no clue who I was haha.

 

I think he had a good time too. My mom (she and our cleaning lady set us up) said that he's apparently very shy and he didn't seem shy at all during the date. Maybe just like initially but once we started talking, it was great. I texted him today saying I had a good time and he was responsive saying that he hopes we can get together again soon and also said he'd talk to me soon.

 

I've done this enough now that I know him saying that doesn't mean anything until he actually does it, but I really hope he does! Even if he doesn't, it's just nice to connect with someone and remind me that dating doesn't have to suck haha.

[Keyman]

It sounds good... And it sounds like he is interested.

 

Hopefully he calls, but if he doesn't call after a couple of days, would you call him?

[Daligal83]

I don't know...I already texted him today so that shows I'm interested. I figure if he wants to pursue this further he'd call and if I call it's kind of too much. If I hadn't sent that text today maybe it'd be different. What do you think?

 

I've also had guys say they'd call and want to get together, but then disappear. So I'm hesitant to get too excited...but still excited

[Keyman]

I guess if you haven't heard from him in a couple of days, send him a text and ask what he's up to. If anything, it's a reminder that you are there and it will keep the conversation going.

 

Remember, you were told he was a shy guy. And shy people tend to have trouble initiating and shy guys often have trouble with the concept of it's the guy that has to do the chasing...

 

Trust me, from the other side, I have had great dates with girls that have said they had a good time, then when I rang a couple of days later, they've turned me down for another. So sometimes the guys likes to know that you are interested, and showing your interested is more than just a follow up text the next day.

 

But then again, if I like a girl after a date, I'll go for it...

[Daligal83]

See he didn't seem shy with me though. I wouldn't have thought that of him if my mom didn't tell me that's what she was told.

 

I have no problem showing that I'm interested...but as long as I'm getting signals that it's coming from him too. I don't like chasing after someone who doesn't like me. And even though he said those things...like I said I've had guys say it and never follow through so I don't trust it. Some guys say it just to not feel awkward.

[Batya33]

Good mindset - until there is a second date planned, time and place, he is off your dating radar .... good luck!

[Daligal83]

Well he's still on my rader...but I don't count it as a sure thing. It's harder to plan a date when you don't live in the same city. I have a reason to go there since my parents are there, but it's not like I go every weekend. I go like maybe once a month over the summer or every three weeks. And he's got not reason to randomly come here.

 

I also remember, he would say things that hinted at seeing each other again. The one I remember is that we were talking about the casino and the different games and I was saying I only play war because the rest intimidate me. He said he'd teach me how to play blackjack. Now I'm looking into the small details, but I'd think that's a good sign, right?

[Keyman]

Well I think there is a good line for a text message in a couple of days.... "So when are you gonna teach me to play blackjack?"

 

Other than that, you could give him a random reason to come there, or just wait and see what happens.

 

If you both keep up communication, then I'm sure you'll figure out whether he likes you or not. And sending a random text every couple of days isn't necessarily taking up the chase...

[Whoa]

DEFINITELY don't contact him again! If he's interested, wait for him to contact you. You have made your interest known, so let him pick up the ball, or not.

[Daligal83]

I get what you're saying...but if I don't hear anything at all from him I don't know if I'll feel comfortable sending him a text. I clearly showed today that I was interested and if he doesn't reciprocate after that, it's hard for me to make another move.

[Whoa]

I get what you're saying...but if I don't hear anything at all from him I don't know if I'll feel comfortable sending him a text. I clearly showed today that I was interested and if he doesn't reciprocate after that, it's hard for me to make another move.

 

 

Why would you even consider contacting him again at all?

[Daligal83]

I was answering Keyman's question...he asked me if I don't hear from him if I'd call him in a few days.

[Capricorn3]

I've heard that some guys go by a thing they call "dating rule" which means that they after a first date they only contact you again after about 3 days. Apparently they do this so as not to seem too desperate, lol. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I've seen many many threads on this topic (on another message board), lol.

 

Give him a couple of days. He knows you're interested and I'm sure he'll call you.

[Batya33]

I went on many dates where the guy referenced future activities/plans or said he was going to call me and then never called. I just decided - from a realistic, not a negative - perspective that until we had time/place plans for a second date he was off my radar. I don't think the blackjack comment is a bad sign - of course not - but I would just put it in the neutral category unless or until there's a second date planned. You are right though that this reassures you that dating can be ok or better!

[Daligal83]

The second date thing is hard though since we don't live in the same place. He's got not reason to come here, so can I expect him to offer to drive here for a second date? Or is it more realistic to wait until I go back to where he lives?

[JeckyllNHyde]

I get what you're saying...but if I don't hear anything at all from him I don't know if I'll feel comfortable sending him a text. I clearly showed today that I was interested and if he doesn't reciprocate after that, it's hard for me to make another move.

 

Hey, great to hear the date went well and reminded you dating doesn't have to suck! It should be fun..

 

See.. I think you shouldn't overthink stuff: "should I text if he hasn't contacted? don't? do I? I don't feel comfy doing it, etc".

 

The way I see it, you guys hit it off. He's supposed to either make plans or you. If he doesn't ask you out by next week I see no harm in sending a hello-text and seeing if he responds to go out for drinks/dinner/you name it.

 

It's when you over think things too much like texting and contacting, then dating becomes frustrating and too much of a tricky game.

Just do what feels right. You've got experience and I doubt you'll do anything that will be seen as way too over eager.

[Daligal83]

It's not as easy as "hey lets go get drinks" though. It takes planning since we live far away. I can't go home for a few weeks because I'm moving to a new place on June 6th and I need to be here to pack. I don't feel comfortable asking him to drive here at this point...so if I made any contact it would just be a hey what's up thing, not a hey lets get together this weekend. I mean if he wanted to drive here to go out I'd be all about it! But I don't feel right asking him to.

[Daligal83]

He called We talked for about an hour and there are very very few people that I can or want to do that with. I really like this guy

[Batya33]

He called We talked for about an hour and there are very very few people that I can or want to do that with. I really like this guy

 

That's great!

[HeartGoesOn]

That's great news!

 

Hope it works out for you.

[Daligal83]

So do I have to wait until Wednesday to call him? I don't want to be too pushy...but Wednesday seems so far away haha.

[Batya33]

So do I have to wait until Wednesday to call him? I don't want to be too pushy...but Wednesday seems so far away haha.

 

What would be the purpose in calling him - did you promise to call him next?

[Daligal83]

No, we just said we would talk soon. I just don't think that the guy has to show all the interest...I think the girl needs to show some too. Not calling all the time or anything, but here or there so it's not just him putting in the effort.

 

He did text me today, it was cute. He apologized for cutting the conversation short yesterday, but his phone was dying. We talked for an hour! That wasn't cutting it short to me haha. Definitely didn't feel like an hour though.

[Whoa]

In the hour long conversation, did he set up another date?

 

If not, then I wouldn't contact him.

[Daligal83]

He didn't, but again it's not that simple. We don't live in the same city.