So what's the deal with bars

[bebeblondie]

I've seen so many posts on here mentioning that men in bars are just looking for one nighters or casual sex. I guess for the most part it is true. But are there any men or women out there that met their significant others in a bar?

 

The reason I ask is because online dating doesnt really seem to work for me, the best way for me to meet someone is face to face, and the only places I know that single men (mostly) go to are bars. However from my personal experience I have never met a somebody long term in a bar. There was one guy I had met in a bar about a year ago who was actually looking for something serious, we had one date and told me he was put off by my party girl attitude because I told him I was going to Vegas in a couple of weeks at the time. So again, my question is have any of you met your significant other at a bar? If so share your story.

[Blanco Nino]

I just like to view the scenery in bars and never make moves. Most of my SO's have been co-workers which is a whole other can of worms.

[nowhereman7]

There is nothing wrong with the girls in the bar, usually its the "bar" thats the problem. Loud bad music isn't good for communication. You might be in a swarm of your girlfriends, Now if I have probable cause I'll head into that nest but usually not many guys will. So It's not really a comfortable place to meet someone In my opinion.

 

Usually it's someones friend who you are introduced to who you meet up with, which is the case of the girl I'm currently dating who yes, I met in a bar.

[heloladies21]

I've actually met most of my gf's at bars and they've all been great people. My current gf I met at a club while drunk, and we're over 2 and a half years in and going strong. The negative stigma against bars is unfair, good guys are hard to meet in general. But my personal advice to you would be to take every possible avenue to meet as many guys as possible. You don't have to do anything physical with them, but you should at least put yourself in a position where they can easily hit on you. That way you would be able to choose the very best out of who you're approached by, whether it be online or in the real world.

[hazylynx]

Tbh when i go out with my friends i just go to relax.. i can't be bothered with the whole ' oooh lets try get laid' well being a guy it's on mind ofc but if it happens it happens..

 

one circle of friends are always out trying it on..i go out with them once in a bluemoon..they never seem to 'pull' and if they do it's one of those '3am jobbies'

 

another circle..we just sit in a jazz bar, drink wine and relax. and tbh thats where i have met the nice girls who are genuniely interesting..

 

really want to party in vegas.. looks/sounds awesome! fear n loathing style ofc

[Casey13]

I think that at least 80% of men out there if not more go to bars if not frequently then occasionally. I also know that not all of these men only look for one night stands. If you are more comfortable meeting people in bars then go for it and dont dwell on this BS that you will only meet a guy who will want casual sex.

[drewciouS281]

Not all men and women from bars are looking for flings. people like to go out and socialize and get drinks. I would say majority of men that go to clubs though are there to pick up women and majority of women go to have guys buy them drinks all night only to ditch them in the end. I will say it depends on the bars but night clubs would fall mostly under this category. Ive met many hook ups and one night stands at bars but none of my long term relationships have been from a bar.

[bebeblondie]

I've actually met most of my gf's at bars and they've all been great people. My current gf I met at a club while drunk, and we're over 2 and a half years in and going strong. The negative stigma against bars is unfair, good guys are hard to meet in general. But my personal advice to you would be to take every possible avenue to meet as many guys as possible. You don't have to do anything physical with them, but you should at least put yourself in a position where they can easily hit on you. That way you would be able to choose the very best out of who you're approached by, whether it be online or in the real world.

 

What would be a good position to get hit on? I usually only have one other friend with me and more often than not I will catch a guy staring but never making a move.

 

Also, this "friend" who is the only other single girl I know is a bit easy with men (she has had plenty one night stands) and I am the complete opposite of her, however I believe since I hang out with her most men who we meet together probably think I'm just like her, when that couldn't further from the truth. As a result of this, there was one guy who i met a year ago who still texts me to this day (we've never slept together) I believe in hopes that he will get lucky with me, cause his friend got lucky with her.

[heloladies21]

What would be a good position to get hit on? I usually only have one other friend with me and more often than not I will catch a guy staring but never making a move.

 

Also, this "friend" who is the only other single girl I know is a bit easy with men (she has had plenty one night stands) and I am the complete opposite of her, however I believe since I hang out with her most men who we meet together probably think I'm just like her, when that couldn't further from the truth. As a result of this, there was one guy who i met a year ago who still texts me to this day (we've never slept together) I believe in hopes that he will get lucky with me, cause his friend got lucky with her.

In a bar, best way would be to look physically at your best ie. dress well, work out often, all the things girls can do to make their appearance as great as possible. It is the main factor guys use to decide if we wanna go up to a girl. Other than that, you can smile a lot. If you are brave enough, make eye contact. If you are braver still you can go up to guys yourself. It all depends on what you're comfortable doing and how important meeting a guy is to you (probably pretty important, nothing wrong with that).

 

It doesn't matter what your friend does, you're not her, so if guys are going to judge you like her, you can just make sure to get accross to them that it ain't happening that fast.

[drewciouS281]

What would be a good position to get hit on? I usually only have one other friend with me and more often than not I will catch a guy staring but never making a move.

 

Also, this "friend" who is the only other single girl I know is a bit easy with men (she has had plenty one night stands) and I am the complete opposite of her, however I believe since I hang out with her most men who we meet together probably think I'm just like her, when that couldn't further from the truth. As a result of this, there was one guy who i met a year ago who still texts me to this day (we've never slept together) I believe in hopes that he will get lucky with me, cause his friend got lucky with her.

 

well you can also use this to your benefit with your friend. This can help you sort out who is worth getting to know or if its just a guy out for a lay. I get extremely turned off when a girl no matter how hott throws her self all over me in a trashy way. I would rather get to know the chill reserved gal.

[Nutz]

I'm a big fan of this view point:

link removed

 

It's true too. The person you meet at a bar is the same person you could have met at the grocery store, Starbucks, or the library only a few hours earlier. All that changed was the location. The person is still the same.

[bebeblondie]

Thanks to all....very useful information boys!!

[Scorpion Fury]

I would say a lot of the guys are looking for hook ups at bars, but not all. You can usually tell by whether or not they try to take you home at the end of the night. Most of the guys that do that aren't looking for anything beyond a hook up.

[ghost69]

Not all men and women from bars are looking for flings. people like to go out and socialize and get drinks. I would say majority of men that go to clubs though are there to pick up women and majority of women go to have guys buy them drinks all night only to ditch them in the end. I will say it depends on the bars but night clubs would fall mostly under this category. Ive met many hook ups and one night stands at bars but none of my long term relationships have been from a bar.

 

i agree 5000% percent. so true. drew just typed it up before me..haha.

 

i'll admit, i used to be that guy. i used to only go to find girls and drink some beers. that was when i was 21-24. non-stop, almost every day. i had no idea who i was.

 

now, i go to just have a good time with friends. if i meet someone who catches my eye then i meet someone. if not, i still had a good time with my friends.

[bebeblondie]

I would say a lot of the guys are looking for hook ups at bars, but not all. You can usually tell by whether or not they try to take you home at the end of the night. Most of the guys that do that aren't looking for anything beyond a hook up.

 

I must say in my experience only a very small percentage of the guys I meet in bars try to take me home at the end of the night. I think that's mostly because I usually don't throw myself at them...I mean I have made out with a guy a time or two at a bar but even those that I have made out with don't typically try to take me home.

 

Do you guys think making out with a guy at a bar screams "take me home with you"?

 

Just a side note, I don't typically make out with guys in bars I've probably done that literally probably about 4 times in my entire life.

 

Also the guys I tend to meet in bars now are in there 30's I try to stay away from the ones younger than I am.

[Scorpion Fury]

I must say in my experience only a very small percentage of the guys I meet in bars try to take me home at the end of the night. I think that's mostly because I usually don't throw myself at them...I mean I have made out with a guy a time or two at a bar but even those that I have made out with don't typically try to take me home.

 

Do you guys think making out with a guy at a bar screams "take me home with you"?

 

Just a side note, I don't typically make out with guys in bars I've probably done that literally probably about 4 times in my entire life.

 

Also the guys I tend to meet in bars now are in there 30's I try to stay away from the ones younger than I am.

 

Kinda. Not necessarily, but pretty much.

[rocio]

Doesn't it depend on the bar? Some of the young professionals from my work and another place meet up for 5-9 drinks at a bar every week. Its a great place to network and have a few beers. I'm not looking but I've noticed that many of the men seem to be. Actually, we have a lot of socials in local bars. Even if you don't have a group to meet up with, perhaps you can go to pubs or lounges near a professional district around 5 pm. Its still an environment where you can approach people but there's not this notion that people are looking for pne-nighters

[bebeblondie]

I'm a big fan of this view point:

link removed

 

It's true too. The person you meet at a bar is the same person you could have met at the grocery store, Starbucks, or the library only a few hours earlier. All that changed was the location. The person is still the same.

 

Great Article! I agree.

[ghost69]

no, doesn't mean you are going to go home with them. i know i'd be thinking, dam, she's a good kisser, she just made out with me and i just met her. i'd go for more.

[Alezia]

I would say that before 10-11pm, your potential for finding a suitable partner is actually not that bad. The drunken times of 1-2am might be something else...

 

Two of my boyfriend's cousins and my boyfriend's ex met their now now fiancé at the bar, so I guess it can work.

[Robert013]

Choose the bar wisely. If they serve food or not. Have TV's or games. Tables to sit down. The place I go has food, darts, 10 or more tv's, fooseball, and usually a local band one night a week. I go to the bar once or twice a week and I haven't had a one night stand in many years nor am I looking for one. I am not affraid to aproach women in groups but I usually have a friend with me when I do. I suggest only going out with one of your girlfriends it makes it easier on us guys to aproach, but also will make you feel comfortable. It is the type of place where the patrons could be a ceo, or a college student. Check the bathroom it is a good indication of what kind of establishment it is. Clean stalls with doors looks like the bathroom at your house(good), troths with ramdom numbers carved into the wall (bad)..

 

Yes you can meet a good guy in a bar, and no we are not all out there just to try to get in your pants.. But we are thinking about it, nature of the beast I guess..

[Doc Blaze]

I go to the bar with a whatever happens...happens attitude...have fun,

[afrodite79]

My uncle met his wife randomly in a bar. They've been married for 12 years and still adore each other.