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Women in Philadelphia are in a category of their own. Can you believe this?

ConfusedDater

By ConfusedDater
in Dating Advice

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sophie274 Mentor

sophie274

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I don't know if I would want to meet a guy off of the internet for the first time at night (safety and all that), but I certainly wouldn't find it FREAKY and assume he was horny.

 

Here's the thing CD: ok, you thought it was weird. Did you really think it was THAT weird? Why couldn't you brush it off and say "Sorry, I'm actually out/busy/hanging out with some friends right now, but why don't we plan to meet sometime next week. I'll call you tomorrow to schedule. Have a good night". You get wound up awfully fast, and it's really hurting your dating, and, I imagine, other aspects of your life. You're entitled to your feelings - you're allowed to think it was weird - but before you take drastic actions like sending nasty messages or blowing women off, take some time to stop, pause, and decide on a healthy and productive way to address the situation, rather than just venting your feelings.

 

(From a woman who has lived 35 mins outside of Philly on-off for the past 6 years!)

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Well I asked what she meant but what happened was she forgot to email her number with that email. So she was looking to meet face to face and I feel it's not lady like but I don't want to be criticized and attacked for my opinions. Especially when I always respected every member on this board unless I was attacked for no reason.

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sophie274 Mentor

sophie274

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Well I asked what she meant but what happened was she forgot to email her number with that email. So she was looking to meet face to face and I feel it's not lady like but I don't want to be criticized and attacked for my opinions. Especially when I always respected every member on this board unless I was attacked for no reason.

 

I hope I didn't sound like I was attacking you. If you think that you dealt with the situation in the best way possible, then you're all good. If not, I thought I might offer a different way to deal with it.

 

Are you now planning on writing this girl off?

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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I hope I didn't sound like I was attacking you. If you think that you dealt with the situation in the best way possible, then you're all good. If not, I thought I might offer a different way to deal with it.

 

Are you now planning on writing this girl off?

 

No since she sent her number I will call her in about 45 min.

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jengh Experienced

jengh

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No since she sent her number I will call her in about 45 min.

 

Why 45 minutes? You don't want to seem like you're sitting at home on the computer on a Saturday night?

 

Make sure it's not at 12:00 exactly...that will be obvious. Make it like 12:03, or 12:07 to be really spontaneous.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Why 45 minutes? You don't want to seem like you're sitting at home on the computer on a Saturday night?

 

Make sure it's not at 12:00 exactly...that will be obvious. Make it like 12:03, or 12:07 to be really spontaneous.

 

Oh I know. I plan to eat a couple of more wings and some nachos before I call her.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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So you can call someone for the first time on a Saturday night at 12:03AM and its not freakish, but asking to meet someone at 10PM is?

 

I just want to make sure Im following along.

 

 

Well my lamp is still on and i'm not under my covers so it's not really a freakish call after midnight-lol

 

 

H

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Ellie2006 Mentor

Ellie2006

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he is the one who has to live with the results and none of us are in a parental role. Our lives will be unchanged regardless of what he does.

 

I agree 100% w/ heloladies: ultimately, the OP is the one who has to live with the consequences of his (unfortunate) decision.

 

Even so, against my better judgment, I am compelled to say this: I dont think CD creates threads to engage in conversations with others about (common) dating issues.

 

If this is really the case, what exactly was CD's question that he was asking the other ENAs to respond to? That Philly women are "in a category of their own"? That people should exchange pictures and x number of emails and have y number of phone convos before they make a date to meet face-to-face? That "ladies" call at 2 pm and should never call someone at 10 pm?

 

I agree w/ some of the other posters that CD's main objective in creating this thread was to reinforce his misogynistic views (to which he has already admitted re: women-bashing).

 

Honestly, CD, I think you should really let the meaning of heloladies' word sink in: YOU are the only one who has to live with the consequences of your decision.

 

If you are looking for a specific type of women, you could look into other (more serious and reputable) internet sites for dating, which might attract more women of "your type."

 

If you were initially interested enough in this woman to contact her off Craig-list, and IF your ultimate goal was to meet this woman face-to-face for a date, you could have sent her a less antagonistic, sarcastic email -- like, "sorry it's too late tonight but can we meet tomorrow at 2pm."

 

And I think it was kind of in poor taste to put in your dating ad that you want someone with "phone skills" -- it is not a job interview, after all. and it is kind of off-putting.

 

I know you've said that you aren't looking for advice but I have to say this one thing: either become more proactive in making positive changes in your life (be it about dating or whatever) and stop wasting time on ventures simply to validate your own distorted views about women/dating/ etc OR stop complaining about the weird situations you've created.

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Ellie2006 Mentor

Ellie2006

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Well when I put PHONE SKILLS in the title I was just being silly and trying to catch someone's attention. So it wasn't to be taken that seriously.

 

Ok, I will give you that, and since the woman in question responded to your ad, I would have to say that she gets your sense of humor.

 

I hope that you will give this woman a chance. I hope the woman gives you a chance as well. You may have to keep in mind, though, that she might have felt a bit miffed by your reply-email, which could be seen as a rejection to her offer to meet-up.

 

 

good luck.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Ok, I will give you that, and since the woman in question responded to your ad, I would have to say that she gets your sense of humor.

 

I hope that you will give this woman a chance. I hope the woman gives you a chance as well. You may have to keep in mind, though, that she might have felt a bit miffed by your reply-email, which could be seen as a rejection to her offer to meet-up.

 

 

good luck.

 

 

Well it was more of a question. Because I wasn't sure what she meant so that's why I said-Avilable for what?

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