Seraphim Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 It is a good practice piece Hers! You will get the hang of it! Like anything it takes practice. Link to comment
hers Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Oh yea I'll keep working. I went from 7 stitches to 19 somehow, hence why the big hump in the middle! I don't know how I did that... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Oh yea I'll keep working. I went from 7 stitches to 19 somehow, hence why the big hump in the middle! I don't know how I did that... LOL..........it is a common mistake.....even seasoned veterans sometimes end up with extra stitches Link to comment
sophie274 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Hers, I don't want to hijack your thread, but there's something I wanted to ask you. It's personal, so I understand if you don't want to answer. Here goes: You seem so excited about this pregnancy (which is so cute!), and you've also had a few threads about how sweet some children are (relatives of yours?), and how sometimes you feel a bit broody. How are you sure that you don't want to have children? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be argumentative or tell you you're too young to know or whatever. I guess I'm also curious because I have ZERO broodiness or desire to have children at this point, and am not usually cooing over children, but feel pretty sure that I want to have children in about 10 years, so maybe a bit of the reverse situation ... Link to comment
hers Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Hers, I don't want to hijack your thread, but there's something I wanted to ask you. It's personal, so I understand if you don't want to answer. Here goes: You seem so excited about this pregnancy (which is so cute!), and you've also had a few threads about how sweet some children are (relatives of yours?), and how sometimes you feel a bit broody. How are you sure that you don't want to have children? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be argumentative or tell you you're too young to know or whatever. I guess I'm also curious because I have ZERO broodiness or desire to have children at this point, and am not usually cooing over children, but feel pretty sure that I want to have children in about 10 years, so maybe a bit of the reverse situation ... It's not too personal at all! I am definitely ok with answering that. I am childfree, which means I'm not having children by choice (as opposed to childless, which is involuntary). People often equate this with disliking all children and that I'll yell at htem to get off my lawn when I'm old and gray. It's not true. I don't dislike children. I just have no desire to have them. When I was younger, 18-ish, I was set to marry my boyfriend and move into a doublewide trailer and start having kids right away (seriously, this was our dream). But I've never had a motherly instinct or a huge desire to have kids. Even when I was a child, I remember telling my mom I was going to adopt and how I don't understand why women get all sad when they lose a baby. It's just never registered to me. I've never been able to relate. I have my dog, who is the love of my life. I live and breathe for this dog, but I'm also extremely selfish with her. I don't feel like walking her or playing with her or taking her out when I need to. I just don't do it and she is ok with that (or if she's not, I have no idea). I can leave and come home when I want, and Leeluu is ok having been in the house alone. I don't have to get a babysitter for her or anything. It all suits me. I have many things I want to do one day--travel, sleep in when I want, go off on trips spontaneously (like I planned a trip to NYC this weekend and I didn't have to wonder about the kids missing school or who is gonna stay with them. I asked a friend to watch Leeluu, and they can come and go as they please as well). I want to buy things I want to buy, go places I want to go to, do things I want to do, without a child in tow. I mean, it sounds selfish, but it's better to be selfish wihtout a kid than with one, right? Now, my excitement regarding my friends' and sister's kids is extremely genuine and I am beside myself in excitement (I bought diapers for my sister's baby. She's 7 weeks along. But I am already buying things!). The thing is, though, I can give that baby back when I'm done with it. They'll be up in the m iddle of the night with it, changing the diapers, wearing clothes with spit up stains. I, meanwhile, will be off on a spontaneous weekend somewhere. I will be the cool aunt who doesn't get ragged from childbirth, too many diapers, puberty, etc. I won't have to worry about my teachngs being instilled in the child, if I'm raising it properly or not. It's pressure I don't have to deal with. I will instill in the child what I can, like respect and all of that, like all children should learn, but ultimately, my sister's and her husband's values will be in that child first and I will only back them up. I don't have to worry about a "right way" and a "wrong way" to bring up a good child/teenager/adult. I will get Christmas time with this child, birthdays, movie nights, zoo trips, sleepovers, etc. But I get to give it back after I'm tired. It will be part time for me, whereas for a parent, it's full time. It's much like a grandparent gets when their child has a child--they get the best of both worlds of getting time with the child but not having it ALL the time, ya know? So it doesn't mean I dislike children, which is what many people think. I get called selfish and evil and that my purpose on this earth as a woman is to bear children. My purpose on this earth is to be happy. Doing what I want and spending time with family is what will make me happy. Spending time with a niece or nephew or my friends' kids or anything like that will make me happy. I'm 26, and I have never really had a desire to have them. When I was 18 adn dreaming of my double-wide, that was b/c I didn't realize I had choices. My mom had me and my sister by 20 years old. I thought that was how things were done. But after I got out of that relationship, I realized how great it was to be alone, live alone, come and go as I please, and I realized I can make choices for myself. And that chioce is not to have children. I will get married and do the happy wife thing (dying for htat, actually), but it just won't come with kids. I am not sure what 'broody' means, but anytime I start feeling the itch for motherhood, I remind mhyself of what I will have without children and how much happier I'll be. And besides, 2 little words keep me from getting too far deep: "vaginal tearing". Then I'm good. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Wow, thanks for the reply! I found it REALLY interesting, actually, because I can relate to a lot of the things you want (travel, sleeping in, spontaneity, etc) and I do really worry about what having children will be like, what I will have to sacrifice, whether I will want to make those sacrifices ... travel, some "things", career, what it will do to my relationship. But I guess part of me can't really imagine NOT having children, and I feel like since I do like children, liked growing up in my family, love pets and am dying for a dog, and am really looking forward to being married (not rushing though), that I will eventually get that itch. (That is what I meant by broody) Are you open to changing your mind? (Or do you really feel 100% sure?) When you were in an LTR, did you get the urge more or think you might change your mind? I have to admit I do get a tug at the heartstrings when I see a man being really cute with his children. Link to comment
hers Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Yeah, I do worry about changing my mind, but I don't worry about it. Even as a child, I wanted to adopt, so I'd go that route if I absolutely wanted to have a child. But as far as a relationship, it's a requirement that I get out of the way with anyone who has even the littlest bit of potential for relationship material. I'm very open about not having kids and I make it known very early on. If they aren't ok witht hat, they aren't ok with me. There's no "maybe he will change his mind if he wants them" or "maybe she will change her mind b/c she doesn't want them". I don't play tha game. I don't want children. Period. He shouldn't either. I can't wait to be married. To sleep in together on Sundays and go get brunch somewhere. To travel places together and take pictures of what we've seen. To want to come home to my husband every day b/c I love him. I think it will be great. I want that. I don't want to come home to a house that I'll have to clean up after kids have trashed it all day. I don't want to make dinner for kids. I want to live off of macaroni and cheese and cereal for dinner like I do now. I'm happy being the way I am. I'l never say never. I can;t say I'll never change my mind. I want to be sterilzed but a doctor won't do it for me as I'm so young. That's fine. i can deal with that. For now, I take precautions and I will be sterilized one day. If I want kids after that,i'll adopt. Or spend more time wiht my sister's kids. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Update: She's fine! The baby is fine! Her ovulation date was off, so the date of conception was off, so that means she's not as far along as they thought. She's 7 weeks and 3 days along now instead of 10 weeks and one day. They heard the heartbeat and saw the little bean on the monitor. Her new due date is nov 22 instead of the day before my birthday (originally due nov 4). Thank you everyone for your kind words and good thoughts!! That gives me a little extra time to be better at knitting! Yay! What wonderful news! They must be so relieved. Now her due date is 4 days from my birthday. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Update: She's fine! The baby is fine! Her ovulation date was off, so the date of conception was off, so that means she's not as far along as they thought. She's 7 weeks and 3 days along now instead of 10 weeks and one day. They heard the heartbeat and saw the little bean on the monitor. Her new due date is nov 22 instead of the day before my birthday (originally due nov 4). Thank you everyone for your kind words and good thoughts!! That gives me a little extra time to be better at knitting! So glad to hear it! Link to comment
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