THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[klafeoj]

Stay strong. It is an exponential decay process. It gets better every day. Gets even better when the ex starts spazing. But it is for your own good. It has only been 8 days and i have started to do things that i never would have done before. Think of this as an oppertunity to make positive changes in your life.

[Snowgrrl83]

Its really weird, I have 2 goals with this no contact thing - to get over him and to make him want me. I want him to want me so I can fall in love with him. But then again, I want to get over him. I really dont know what I want, do i? I guess thats why it hurts so much.

[anon12]

Its really weird, I have 2 goals with this no contact thing - to get over him and to make him want me. I want him to want me so I can fall in love with him. But then again, I want to get over him. I really dont know what I want, do i? I guess thats why it hurts so much.

 

You dont know what you want, but you've figured out what you want to do to achieve either of them.

 

You cant choose the outcome, but you seem fine with either?

So dont focus on what the outcome is, what evers gonna happen, will happen, just focus on your self until you get one of them.

 

Its early days, It does get better with time

[Elephant]

Day 1!

 

He caught me on MSN yesterday. I was going to log off without answering, but he had just written me an email about how his family dog died and he had tried calling me twice in the past two days (and I ignored the calls). The conversation went fine, and I was the one to leave it.

 

I was very sweet and funny, but not overly friendly, and I hope he realizes what he's missing out on. I know, I know, I should've maintained NC, but I thought it would be immature to just log off without acknowledging his message.

 

Oh well, here's to a new round!

[Snowgrrl83]

The only thing that I fear out of this whole thing is that I get hurt because he never attempts to contact me within the month... and that in the end, I'm still not over him and end up contacting him and he's going to be completely over me or back with his ex. Weird isn't it...either way, I will stay strong and I'm not contacting him!

[Snowgrrl83]

Elephant - that was very considerate of you. but I agree, you need to start over and it WILL feel good!!

[Elephant]

The only thing that I fear out of this whole thing is that I get hurt because he never attempts to contact me within the month... and that in the end, I'm still not over him and end up contacting him and he's going to be completely over me or back with his ex. Weird isn't it...either way, I will stay strong and I'm not contacting him!

 

I kind of feel the same, but I really think/hope that by the time 30 days are over, it won't matter so much where our exes are at or whether they try to contact us; we'll both feel stronger and more confident by ourselves. We can do it!

[Snowgrrl83]

Elephant - I'm also excited, because I think I just realized that in a month from now, I will be re-introduced to the man of my dreams. I'm crazy, aren't i?

[Snowgrrl83]

Question for everyone doing this: Did you tell your ex that you dont want to talk to him/her for the next month?

 

I didn't. I think it might drive him crazy and I sort of enjoy that idea.

[anon12]

Question for everyone doing this: Did you tell your ex that you dont want to talk to him/her for the next month?

 

I didn't. I think it might drive him crazy and I sort of enjoy that idea.

 

I told my ex why i was, i didnt give an end to when id stop NC

 

if you can do 30 days, then by the end of it, dont just break NC because youve completed the challenge, keep with it if its doing its job

[klafeoj]

Its really weird, I have 2 goals with this no contact thing - to get over him and to make him want me. I want him to want me so I can fall in love with him. But then again, I want to get over him. I really dont know what I want, do i? I guess thats why it hurts so much.

 

I can understand snowgrrl. Getting over him/her is the best plan of attack. I guess I want her to want me back partly for ego reasons which aren’t healthy either. I do care for her but a new relationship with her would be complicated to say the least. She is now in a new relationship and it would definitely be one of the most difficult things to do (reestablishing a relationship). We kinda will never know how we would respond if they came back unless it actually happened. We can think "oh I deserve better" now but the heart wants what the heart wants. (we could also use a similar but cruder quote from Weeds) But the best advice from a fellow traveler is to just keep on persevering. What you may find happening is that those initial feelings may die down. I still want my ex back but not in the frantic way I did before. I understand that we both have problems and that I wouldn't want the same her back. I have also gained a lot of self respect back that I had lost in the relationship. I will find a new partner, I am sure of that. You will too. If you spend every day striving to make yourself a little bit better, you will.

[bitebenot]

I just read a new post on ENA,Reverse Psychology and Rebound relationships.

Post 790...must read it.He took his gf back...by jumping one step it was lost,she left him again ! Reason: took her back to quickly,she didnt crawl long enough ! NC must be applied to a " T " Must read that post,its great information for all to learn here !

[bitebenot]

Day 1!

 

He caught me on MSN yesterday. I was going to log off without answering, but he had just written me an email about how his family dog died and he had tried calling me twice in the past two days (and I ignored the calls). The conversation went fine, and I was the one to leave it.

 

I was very sweet and funny, but not overly friendly, and I hope he realizes what he's missing out on. I know, I know, I should've maintained NC, but I thought it would be immature to just log off without acknowledging his message.

 

Oh well, here's to a new round!

 

This is only my opinion...no matter what his reasons are to try to reach you,you must ignore him totaly ! Does he have a cat also ? lol

Every time you answer back,hes pushed further and further away !

Is that what you want ? Read the NC rules,if you dont follow it, you are wasting your time ! Might as well forget about having a second chance.

Remove him from all your messengers.Let him reach you by phone only and dont answer it.Listen to the messages only.If its not about reconciliation,dont bother to contact him.And of course, he has to crawl back,nothing less will work.For your own good,do it if you want to have him back.Even with NC,there is no garantees ! Good luck

[bish0p2004]

Almost to Day 26 I think. However, I'm dropping out of the challenge. I'm fairly certain that my contact with the ex didn't count as it was for something important that I have of hers; however, she hasn't contacted me back regarding it so maybe she really didn't want it....but maybe in a few days she will...who knows.

 

Either way, I'm out as I really don't have the urge to contact her anymore, or see her, and there's no possibility of reconciliation in my mind.

[Elephant]

This is only my opinion...no matter what his reasons are to try to reach you,you must ignore him totaly ! Does he have a cat also ? lol

Every time you answer back,hes pushed further and further away !

Is that what you want ? Read the NC rules,if you dont follow it, you are wasting your time ! Might as well forget about having a second chance.

Remove him from all your messengers.Let him reach you by phone only and dont answer it.Listen to the messages only.If its not about reconciliation,dont bother to contact him.And of course, he has to crawl back,nothing less will work.For your own good,do it if you want to have him back.Even with NC,there is no garantees ! Good luck

 

I know. It really was a fluke situation; I had him blocked, but he re-added me, so by letting him re-add me, it unblocked him (I didn't realize that would happen). There was a moment of panic when he messaged me as I didn't think he could see I was online. And I don't have voicemail on my phone, so he can't leave a message. Haha.

 

Anyway, his friend texted me today and brought up something that I told my ex yesterday, and that made me feel weird. I am so not talking to either of them anymore. NC NC NC!

 

Sigh. I just want to feel better. I'm definitely dealing with it quite well, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions everyday.

[Snowgrrl83]

Its really funny how quickly and how often my feelings change about this man. One minute I want to get back with him and the next I just want to get over him forever and move on. Right now, I'm happy that I've taken on this challenge because I just want to move on and show myself that I don't need him nor the way he treated me so badly. Right at this instant, now, I feel bad for trying to rekindle our relationship 2 days ago because he was so sweet when we went shopping together. It made it difficult for me to forget him... and I suddenly forgot how mean he was to me when we were actually going out. I just want to show him that I can get over him and that maybe we can just be friends....maybe.

[bitebenot]

Almost to Day 26 I think. However, I'm dropping out of the challenge. I'm fairly certain that my contact with the ex didn't count as it was for something important that I have of hers; however, she hasn't contacted me back regarding it so maybe she really didn't want it....but maybe in a few days she will...who knows.

 

Either way, I'm out as I really don't have the urge to contact her anymore, or see her, and there's no possibility of reconciliation in my mind.

 

Good luck to you,your decision to move on is wise.

[bitebenot]

Its really funny how quickly and how often my feelings change about this man. One minute I want to get back with him and the next I just want to get over him forever and move on. Right now, I'm happy that I've taken on this challenge because I just want to move on and show myself that I don't need him nor the way he treated me so badly. Right at this instant, now, I feel bad for trying to rekindle our relationship 2 days ago because he was so sweet when we went shopping together. It made it difficult for me to forget him... and I suddenly forgot how mean he was to me when we were actually going out. I just want to show him that I can get over him and that maybe we can just be friends....maybe.

 

He treated you badly...and you can go whitout him.Thats your answer !

Ignore him and move on.Tell him for the last time its over and never contact you again ! You can have better and you know that.Why waste more time whit a man who doesnt care for you ? Give yourself a month and find a new b/f.You know that he wont change,most people wont.

Move on and be happy !

[Snowgrrl83]

He treated you badly...and you can go whitout him.Thats your answer !

Ignore him and move on.Tell him for the last time its over and never contact you again ! You can have better and you know that.Why waste more time whit a man who doesnt care for you ? Give yourself a month and find a new b/f.You know that he wont change,most people wont.

Move on and be happy !

 

Believe it or not, but I dont even want to tell him that I'm ignoring him. I want to make him wonder. Last time I spoke to him we were going to go out "part-time" although he told me he wasn't over his ex. I told him that he either needs to cut contact with her or try it again with her, but he didnt want to do that.... they had bought a house together and were dating for 4 years and we met right after their breakup. I broke up with my BF and got over him at the same time. Then I told him that he's got to let me go if he thinks its not worth trying with me again...but he didn't want to let me go either. Although he said that if I would move on, it would be ok, but he would be sad. This is where we left off... so now, I'm just going to ignore him. Make him really wonder. Make him sad that I'm not even talking to him nor responding to him. Its already working - he's been going on and offline his facebook. I see him go online every 10 minutes and then log off.

[Snowgrrl83]

Today, I woke up for the 11th day in a row before my alarm and I woke up crying, again. I've been crying every day, at least once every hour for 11 days. I haven't been eating properly and I've dropped about 7 pounds since. I'm a tiny girl and this makes me even tinyer.

 

It burns me to know that he pretended to be in a relationship for 9-10 months with me and never got over his ex. His ex is a bikini model for Body Glove. How to make me insecure, eh?

 

I still want him back. I'm totally going crazy and I'm really having trouble moving on. I can't eat, sleep nor work. I really hope that this 30 day no-contact will fix things, that he can get over his ex and fall in love with me so that I can fall in love with him. I WANT to fall in love with him, but he's just been such an up-and-down thing for me, one day he's nice, the next he's not because he longs for his ex that I'm totally torn on what to think of him.

 

I feel the same about him, one minute I think I love him, the next I hate him and never want to see him again.

 

I hope he moves on. I want him to either try with his ex again or completely block her out of his life for at least 2 months - like I'm doing to him. I just don't want him to forget about me. I miss him so much. I miss his touch, his hugs, his kisses, the way he cuddles me at night.

 

I've been updating my facebook status and pretending that I'm happy. Yesterday, I put "is excited for the weekend!" as my status. I hope it gets him wondering what I'm so excited about. I think I'm torchering myself trying to torcher him. Does that make any sense?

 

Please help.

I think I need professional help.

[klafeoj]

Day 9. The dreams have returned but they take on new meaning i guess. Her actions of late make me think that no matter what she says shes not really over our relationship. (does not bode well for her new one). I don't know if she would be back. I don't even know how i would respond to that one. I hope that i am either in a relationship which makes the old one pale in comparison or already out of one because i don't need the hassle of trying to decide between two loves. My father had to do that at my age (weird coincidence) and he regretted it for most of his life.

[syxx87]

Day 11

 

Last night and this morning have been horrible. I felt as if I was making so much progress but the smallest things will set me back. I was talking to my roommate yesterday about how its' been nearly two weeks since I told my ex that we cant talk or hangout as long as she is dating her boss. I was telling him how she was crying telling me how our New Years' together was special and how she cried claiming that she still loved me when I got off the phone with her. We both agreed that all that must not be that important to her if here we are almost two weeks later and nothing has changed.

 

I've been in a funk as well because literally every girl I have talked to since my breakup has b.s.'ed me, bailed on plans we made, and/or just ignored my calls and texts. It hurts knowing that the one you loved and you thought loved you back could effortlessly leave you for another man and you have to deal with the fact that she is so happy with him in her life while you are all alone and no girl will even give you the time of day. Big self esteem killer! I didnt know what else to do last night but to go to sleep to so that I didnt have to feel the pain and then when I woke up this morning, I just felt like I had a dark cloud hovering over my head. I just want this heartache to be over with already.

[bitebenot]

Well,maybe she told you shes not happy with him and tells him she so happy to be with him ! Its all about her and not you ! Thats why shes not in contact with you my friend ! It takes time for the ex to miss you..its not done in one week or two ! I would say 3 months...if its stay the same,forget her !

For your own sake forget her now..tell yourself she will NEVER come back to you ! You can do it your way and be prepared to feel horrible on a longer term.You must think about yourself ! Dont give that power to others !

When you reach the two months period,you will feel better.

At three months you wont even care anymore !

Move on,meet other chickies and have fun.Take that as a life experience.

Heart breaks happen to all of us.Now its all in between your ears !

Start by forgetting her,say to yourself shes a goner and all will be ok !

Dont forget,shes not there anymore to hurt you,you're only hurting yourself.

[bitebenot]

Day 9. The dreams have returned but they take on new meaning i guess. Her actions of late make me think that no matter what she says shes not really over our relationship. (does not bode well for her new one). I don't know if she would be back. I don't even know how i would respond to that one. I hope that i am either in a relationship which makes the old one pale in comparison or already out of one because i don't need the hassle of trying to decide between two loves. My father had to do that at my age (weird coincidence) and he regretted it for most of his life.

 

At two months you will know what to do ! It will be clear as water !

[bitebenot]

SNOW..........Its only day two ! I've been there..lost 25 pounds ! Have milkshakes,it helps..rich foods in small quantities.Its been only 2 days ! I strongly suggest that you meet a psychologist ! Will help you to get out of your rut much quicker.

You can do it on your own if your ready to LET HIM GO ! Forget him,theres no future with a man like that ! You know that already ! You can find someone much better !

Go out with friends or family members..meet new man !

Tell yourself hes not for you,hes not worth the effort !

Why stick around someone who doesnt provide for your emotional needs ?

You think no other man would be better than him ? Please......

Move on and forget the jerk ! Fall in love again with the man of your dreams !