THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[foofightingguy]

Day 35

 

New to this forum.

 

I wonder if we check social media, does it reset back to day 1?

[idio]

Day 3, unless you count looking to see if he's on fb as contact then it's about 2 hours. I saypt under the dining room table and cried like a four year old on Saturday, it was actually quite comforting!

This is the second time, he did all the running, did a big journey to come to see me and apologise for the past last Thursday, just got me to believe he was sincere, said he was coming over on Friday as he was still in town until Sunday, no answer to my two texts of where are you. Answered my call, said he was coming over, 2 hours later, still not there, no answer to my texts, phone calls. Even the two texts where I just asked him to at least say he'd changed his mind so I wasn't wondering what was going on. No contact from him since and I haven't bothered either.

Can't unfriend as I know most of his family and they were wondering why we unfriended the last time, as they knew nothing about us, would like to keep it that way and just block him from seeing any of my posts and get the willpower to not look at his.

So this is really day 1.

[idio]

From his/her point of view it's day 35, but for you it's day one I think.

[foofightingguy]

From his/her point of view it's day 35, but for you it's day one I think.

 

Damn it, this urge of wanting to know what they are up to, sucks...

[idio]

Yes, I am feeling the urge so I am going to go and swim, or something, but know I'll be thinking about looking the whole time. I will not subject myself to crying under the dining table again.

Stay strong

[layla21]

Thanks Layla21

 

I wish I had seen your message before ...

I broke no contact last night ... we exchanged a few messages he is still working on himself . And not seeing anyone as I could understand .

I feel like I completely messed up. I even sent him a pix of my new hair. He told me I looked pretty and asked if I was sending that pic to every guys... why would he say that ?

 

He told me he had removed his social media without me asking for it. I asked why he never came around and he said " mixed emotions" what is that supposed to mean?

 

I feel horrible today. I shouldn't have contacted him. I almost ruined everything with the new guy bc both were texting at the same time and told him cos I was overwhelmed with emotions.

I drunk a lot too cos I have been pushing myself for 56 days and after speaking to him I cried so much I felt all these efforts were done for nothing.

And felt like I betrayed the new guy too .

I feel just awful . You guys were right when they say they felt terrible after contacting the ex. Now I know why.

I m back at NC.

 

Day 54 ..

 

Lolita, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this but don't beat yourself up. It can happen to all of us. I think deep down we all want contact with an ex (especially in the earlier stages) as we still have some lingering hope.

But you will get through it, lolita! Now really stick to NC, don't blame yourself and def don't try to interpret whatever he said like the having "mixed feelings". It's just some lame excuse from him. Someone who wants you, would pursue you in any possible way and won't have "mixed feelings", so give him the space he demands - be it months or years. It is not up to you to concern yourself with anymore. You don't need him to be happy or to ease the pain as he IS the pain.

 

And concerning the new guy, maybe you should give yourself two or three days to get your feelings settled after this incident. I would just tell him that you need these days for yourself (or make up some excuse) and be back then. I think that is a fair approach.

 

You have managed so well so far and you WILL def keep up a longer NC and be fine! We are here for you

[dakun]

Day 0

Why? Because I contacted him today by email.. I send an article that I think could help his emotional problem..

My feeling? Well.. it's kinda mixed.. as I said before I think I already haave a closure.. I dont feel really regret.. I dont know but I think I feel a lot less feeling for him.. I'm doing nc because he seems dont want to communicate with me anymore..

 

But still several times a day, about 2-3 times I wonder if his whatsapp is active and I just go there to see his last seen hahaha.. is it considered breaking the rule? This probably because I dont friend him in social media, he doesnt have an account. Well it's actually great for my side..

 

Ok, I'll start counting again tommorrow.. I have to harden my determination.. I can do it..

[Kris22]

Day 6 (contacted around day 80)

 

I still miss him. Just because when we first started going out he was so excited to spend time with me and talk to me. He would send me good morning texts and say really sweet things. Right now all the guys I meet just want to sleep with me. Maybe my ex was my only shot at having someone actually, genuinely care about me

[WombatShadow]

Day 7. It hasn't been too bad today because I've been at work, but I did overhear a hilarious conversation among some students that would have had my ex in stitches had I texted it to him. I wish more than anything that I could tell him that, but I don't think it'd be worth it.

 

I keep going back and forth, wondering if I really want him back or if I can just be his friend. I really think we had something special, but maybe that was all in my head...I don't know.

[lolita]

Day 54 ..

 

Lolita, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this but don't beat yourself up. It can happen to all of us. I think deep down we all want contact with an ex (especially in the earlier stages) as we still have some lingering hope.

But you will get through it, lolita! Now really stick to NC, don't blame yourself and def don't try to interpret whatever he said like the having "mixed feelings". It's just some lame excuse from him. Someone who wants you, would pursue you in any possible way and won't have "mixed feelings", so give him the space he demands - be it months or years. It is not up to you to concern yourself with anymore. You don't need him to be happy or to ease the pain as he IS the pain.

 

And concerning the new guy, maybe you should give yourself two or three days to get your feelings settled after this incident. I would just tell him that you need these days for yourself (or make up some excuse) and be back then. I think that is a fair approach.

 

You have managed so well so far and you WILL def keep up a longer NC and be fine! We are here for you

 

Day 2

 

Awwww thanks so much Layla21 for your comforting words. I was really down and reading you got me the kick again to try to really move on and maintain no contact for the longest I can.

It felt weird because while he seemed happy to have news from me at the same time he couldn't stress more on wanting to go bed... and it was a Saturday night .

He gave me a compliment and a little note of jealousy. Which confused me. And you are right I shouldn't analyse anything of this convo. And I won't try ever to ease his pain again as he is the cause of mine!

 

The new guy and I are back at ok now I might see him tomorrow to watch a game . I hope it works out with him, he has a very nice personality. And at least he has a job and an apartment!! Lol thanks again for the support, it really helps to feel understood and have ppl to share our story with.

[coldmoon]

Day 1,

 

Being ignored hurt as *****

[coffinqt]

Day 8:

 

I wonder what he's up to and if he thinks of me at all.

[Havok20]

Well, 2 weeks after breakup i am here. Been back and forth begging and talking of a second chance while she is with someone else and semi try at friendship I can't. Oh the memories and the morning make me curl up and only wish for her embrace of comfort, but NC is the best thing to get over this.

 

Here goes Day 1 NC.

[dakun]

Day 1

I'm proud I didnt check his whatsapp profile to see his last seen or whatsoever..

Have spoiled myself with back massage and reflexy massage..

Have blast conversation with old friends by phone.. had a lot of laugh

[Havok20]

Well that was a quick NC break, just texted her to tell her to be safe since the weather is terrible..., back to NC again. -___-

[WombatShadow]

Day 9.

 

A former coworker called me on behalf of her son to ask me on a date. It was super awkward, and I was so thrown by her actions (and by the fact that her son was clearly listening in on speaker phone) that I ended up saying yes. We're going out this Saturday.

 

I am full of dread. I'm not ready to be dating again, even casually. I just want to talk to my ex again.

 

Almost a third of the way through.

[cami393]

Day 1: Why do we hurt the people we love the most?

[coffinqt]

Day 9:

 

Still wondering. I wish he'd come back. At least I stopped crying.

[SighSob]

8 years and 3 months of NC. Best of luck to all you guys just getting through this, it does get better

[WombatShadow]

Day 10. Today was a really good day, for whatever reason. I was able to think of him and smile fondly.

[heartacher]

Day 1

This is hard for me cause (I know some people will think I sound a bit full on) but throughout our difficult 5 year relationship I have always fought very hard during the hard times and mostly it was me texting and ringing possibly excessively that brought us back. He doesn't fight and is very good and not giving in to his feelings. This is probably easier for me seeing as he's blocked me of everything but i still find myself trying to text him in case he's unblocked me it's more the principle of not feeling pathetic after trying to contact him. I want to get to the point where I don't want to fight anymore which seems impossible at the moment cause part of me just wants to run grab him and just beg him not to let me go cause it hurts to much god I'm pathetic

[dakun]

Day 2

It's 10 am here.. I should have written here last night but I'm too tired because of doing some Yoga and accidentally sleep..

Still strong.. didn't check his whatsapp..

But i feel a bit sad.. I know he's suffering from some kind of trauma that led him fail to see the meaning of true relationship.. I keep thinking if I can help him overcome it.. but again.. he should do it/find it himself.. I've left the clues.. if I ever help him, it should be after I am healed and happy myself..

[foofightingguy]

Day 38 (or day 3 since I checked social media)

Sleep is still on and off... Thinking about the person less, but stupidly still kind of wish she will soon contact me (she's not going to I know)

[coffinqt]

Day 10:

 

Thinking it's best off not knowing him. I planned to unblock him on Day 30 at least, but I feel better not having him in my life for now, not knowing if he fell in love with someone else. Of course I don't plan on cutting him off forever. But if he wants to reach out, he knows where I am.

[heartacher]

Day 2: it's 10:30pm which seeing as I don't sleep til like 4am is still early this time of the day is so hard. All day I just want to be back in bed but then as soon as I get into bed I realise this is the worst place on the planet, alone with my thoughts and memories of him. Wondering if he thinks of me when he lies in bed too. Probably not