Brokenhart84 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 My heart is heavy and hurts. A part of me still can't believe it's over. Link to comment
gettingthere12 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Haven't commented in a few months but I'll tell you this, it does get better. I was with my ex for 4 years before she left me and started seeing someone else a week later, living fast, and looking happier than ever. Needless to say I was devastated. Went through the initial mistakes we all make and it yielded what I thought was great progress, but in hindsight it slowed the healing. We hung out and were intimate several times before I finally cut the cord and took control of my own feelings and life. Blocked social media and went NC. It's been 6 months post BU and 2.5 months since I initiated NC. By the time I decided I was done with the games I felt indifferent and had zero desire to reach out to her again. The fact she was with someone else made this step alot easier. Since the BU I've been working out, hanging with friends, going to church etc. I needed to regain control. I've never felt so confident in my life. About a month and a half ago I met a wonderful woman who accepted what I was going through and understood where I was emotionally (unavailable). Since then we've become quite close and I don't think that would've happened had I been holding onto to that false hope of reconciling with my ex. I was able to let go before meeting this lovely woman, which happened when I wasn't looking. Before we met I knew the way I was treated by my ex post BU was wrong and callous but I harbour no malice in my heart. Another positive change. I feel alive. My ex contacted right before I initiated NC and cried, apologized, and told me of her issues with her new beau. I could've taken that moment to re-capture her heart but I was done at that point. I wished her the best but the focus was on me at that point. I not only got back to who I was before I met her, I became a better man. Stronger. I owe it to God, my friends, and myself. I truly wish you all the same success. I CHOSE to feel better and rebuild myself. Unfortunately for her, she seemed to be spiraling downwards, excessive drinking, drugs, etc. I wish that upon nobody and get no comfort from knowing that but again, this is about me and she chose that life and a man that doesn't uplift her (so she said). Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and LIVE again! I did as well as countless others. God speed! Link to comment
Shadowbite Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Nice, It's always neat to hear a story like this. Curiously though, Has she ever tried to contact you in those last 2.5 months? Link to comment
gettingthere12 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Nice, It's always neat to hear a story like this. Curiously though, Has she ever tried to contact you in those last 2.5 months? Not a peep and I'd rather it be. I feel I owe it to the woman I'm vesting in now to not look back. I owe to myself more. Even before I met this new woman I really began to see how much my ex had changed. She morphed into someone completely different. Oddly enough it was the many encounters we had post break up that gave me this level of enlightenment. Had I just gone completely off the radar I wouldn't have seen her for who she is now and in my particular case it helped me heal. I needed to see with my own eyes and it was a wake up call. I wanted the old person back, not the new. I then began understanding the change taking effect in myself also. Would've never worked out. Luckily when I went NC it was done on good terms and I don't carry the negative weight anymore. The hurt, pain, even the shame of failing. I just had to forgive her and it was liberating. It just takes times. I honestly still think of her daily but in a minimal capacity. Human nature I'm sure but I feel good inside. Faith, time, etc etc is your friend. Link to comment
Shadowbite Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Nice, Wish Me leaving could have been in some what good terms. But It ended in bad, due to the deceiving and painting me black. Thanks for your story, was nice hearing it. I find it that I'm moving on, It's been the 9th day. Only problem I feel Like I have is that I've done the most for this specific person for years upon years. Yet, painting me so negatively with lies. Guess it's holding me back. Like I'm sort of expecting an apology. Or a realization. I shouldn't expect such though, and by the time I would get one, I think it'll probably be at a point where I won't care anymore. Link to comment
Heavy Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 45 days NC. Then I found out about 2 weeks ago she unblocked me on FB...... I never looked into it, didn't care. I spoke to her bother who is one of my best mates and he said that she was asking a lot of questions about me. It was hard during this time to keep in contact with her brother and not bump into her but we did it by going to the pub...... Well on Sunday night she sent me a msg on FB which I ignored then a few hours later sent me a text (this is after she has told me she wants nothing to do with me anymore and was deleting my number). I replied and we spent the next 2 hours texting each other. Never once did I bring up us, but she did ask me if I was single or seeing anyone??? I told her the truth which is NO and changed the subject. She signed off by saying that she will talk to me soon. Who knows I do still like her, I get the feeling she does but now time will tell. Oh one more thing is that she did say openly to her brother before contacting me is that she will never be another guy that made her feel and treat her the way I did with a smile on her face?? Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Day 17, I'm so proud of myself. However, I'm experiencing an enormous amount of anxiety. Hoping to speak to my primary care physician today. Link to comment
Nope09 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Uh oh sounds like she regrets letting go such a catch best of luck don't just do whats in your head but also in your heart Link to comment
Nope09 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Day 17, I'm so proud of myself. However, I'm experiencing an enormous amount of anxiety. Hoping to speak to my primary care physician today. It gets better Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Day 18 I miss him. But don't have an urge. However, I've been experiencing panic attacks. Hopefully they will subside soon. Link to comment
Shadowbite Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Doing very well, I'm getting a lot done in my goals without her. It feels like its been a month or two, it's amazing how time slows down so much when your in such a situation. I think today is the 12th day? I'm not really sure anymore. Can't help but wonder if she's truly heartless, or if she still thinks of me. Been having some down days however.... But it's not really pushing me too down, just a little upset- ness here and there. Know I'm better off, but I guess I am still bugged regardless. Link to comment
Nope09 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Day 18 I think...still care about you but I'm having so much fun that now you're the last thought in my head lol I've come a long way from the mess I was almost 2 months ago Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Day 19 looking forward. Still thinking about you. But you want see me calling you. Life will get better without you. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 You will be at a better place eventually. She's is probably not happy with herself. Which has lead her to speak so negatively about you. Link to comment
Shadowbite Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 You will be at a better place eventually. She's is probably not happy with herself. Which has lead her to speak so negatively about you. I'm not sure why, but this made me feel better so thanks. Personally I'm having a rough day today in the depressed department. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 No problem. It's very difficult because your self esteem is shot. I know mine is. You have to remember that you are a person of value especially because you were a great partner to her. You don't need to feel guilty nor curious to why she is saying negative things about you. My therapist wrote in my book "guilt is not a healing emotion". You will better off than she will probably ever be. I actually remind myself that I was a great woman to him. I gave him more than what he's ever experienced. That helps to give me a peace. Valentines day just popped in my head and it made me feel sad. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Day 20, looking forward. 😊 Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 If you haven't started no contact. Start now! Link to comment
windcaution Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Day 2 of no contact, very hopeful that I will continue with it Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Day 2 of no contact, very hopeful that I will continue with it You can do it. I thought the same things at first. You have to stay away from your phone the first few days. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Day 21. Can't stop thinking about him. But less urge. Starting to not think so much about him contacting me on my b-day Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Day 22. Time goes by quite fast. Link to comment
Nope09 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Wow 21 days time fly by lol ummm today went to church and the gym I'm meal prepping for the week and I met this really sweet guy he's funny and I cant stop smiling when we text each other he seems really cool...funny how 2 months ago I thought you were the only one for me and no one else would do but now I realize thats not true at all...lets see what happens by day 30 Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Wow 21 days time fly by lol ummm today went to church and the gym I'm meal prepping for the week and I met this really sweet guy he's funny and I cant stop smiling when we text each other he seems really cool...funny how 2 months ago I thought you were the only one for me and no one else would do but now I realize thats not true at all...lets see what happens by day 30 That's great! You seem to be on track. I'm struggling with anxiety and it's making it quite hard for me to get myself together. Link to comment
Nope09 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 That's great! You seem to be on track. I'm struggling with anxiety and it's making it quite hard for me to get myself together. The only thing I can think of that might help with that is honestly working out it clears my head and it's like therapy plus you get out and you get to be around people even if its only for an hour try that and see if that helps Link to comment
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