THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[therealal]

Good Luck mate! Day 3 and going strong...Her Facebook password was my name...Trying so hard to fight the urge to check it out!

[TheD87]

Good luck. My ex has moved on so I don't expect her to contact me, I deleted her contact from my phone, blocked her dating profile and her fb so I would have to go out of my way to try and contact her now. I should have blocked her phone #, but too late now because I don't remember it. But I basically removed any possibility of me contacting her.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Day 1-ish

 

Not sure if this counts as Day 1, since it's July 4th and I called her to see if she was doing anything for the holiday and if she wanted to do something later like watch fireworks. Of course she didn't answer, so I left a voicemail. Not sure what is wrong with me. She has told me to leave her alone and even blocked me on text (but then unblocked me - this has happened maybe 3x) a few days ago...

 

Trouble is, we WORK TOGETHER. So I am not sure how to go about NC. It's extremely hard. Everyone takes their breaks at the same time roughly, and it's impossible not to see or hear each other every single day at work. And I love my job. Yesterday, she went on a walk with a male coworker of ours that she never has done before when she was with me, so I think she meant to shield herself from running into me on a break and/or to make me jealous. I don't know.

 

Anyways, here goes NC the best I can, while working together. I threw away a few of her things she left at my house today. It's really hard. I am hurting so bad, I was in tears awhile ago. The worst part is thinking that she doesn't care or is hurt at all. She even told me on Monday when we were walking together during a break at work that she had gone on a date over the weekend with a guy to the movies. It was like a stab in my gut.

[Liva]

Day 1

 

Okay, here we go. Thirty days without contacting M. It's going to be hard, but I have confidence that it will help us reflect on our relationship slowly falling apart.

 

I hid my relationship status on fb. I hope it's sending him some sort of a signal. I didn't change it to "single", but only made it visible to me.

 

I'm feeling fine. Currently in a state of "see if I care", even though my heart says otherwise. But it has been 2 days since I last cried over M., so yeah.

 

I hope he will slowly start to miss me. Because I know he's still attracted to me and there's a very small part in him that has some affection for me.

 

Let's see how the next days will go.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Day 2-

 

Sent her an email of a song that I thought she would like. No response. Now I'm sitting at work and she is about 15ft away from me at her desk.

 

I feel like crying. Ugh.

[elle12]

Not only am I going STRICT no contact I am also taking it a step further and I've decided that this guy is dead to me. He no longer exists as far as I'm concerned.

[galaxygirl926]

It's been a month since the breakup and I've struggled with NC until now. It's been a week, although I did send him an email explaining that I was alright and am working on myself, and that I've accepted things for the way they are. He didn't respond. I don't really count it, and it didn't cause me pain afterwards. I'm feeling much more freed. I'm close to getting over him and although he was a good friend to me as well, for now it's for the best.

[MajinGuu]

It's been a week yet I feel like it's been 10 years, someone hold me.

[IAmFCA]

OK So its day 1

 

Here is the thing. I dont even know if this is where I want to post. I am so muddleheaded. And I think I am depressed. Or overwhelmed. Or anxious.

 

I used to work my asas off. Now, I can hardly get any work done at all.

 

Today is my late mother's birthday. I should call my dad. But I'm not.

 

This week my exH told me he is moving away. Wants to see the kids less.

 

And yes, I dumped my deepest connection yesterday, on independence day. I mean, that story is long played out. I dont feel like that is part of today, though that is the thread I am on.

 

And of course it is part of today.

 

I am in mourning. For my life. Where is my life? I am alone, I am exhausted. I am getting nothing done. I like men, and they dont like me. Or maybe they do, but I kill it. Or maybe, I just want them too much.

 

I used to think dating was easy. Now I think it is all consuming and I need to be done with it.

 

Yesterday and today too, I felt like my main crush - like I didnt even like him anymore. But I do like his values. I just ... want him to like me and make it easy. I am tired.

 

I feel like I have sent everyone away. Like I have nobody, even though I know I do. I just dont want them to see me like this, like I have nothing to contribute.

 

Ugh. This is not who i think I am.

[lapaix91]

Day 16 NC! so far, doing really well

[rockette]

day 1 again

 

i knew id be back, after much on-off-on-off bs yesterday i receive a hand written letter posted through my door from him saying i have to forget about him and him me,that he will always think about me and always be there if i need him, that this is so hard for him and that he couldnt say it face to face because it would hurt too much ( note its all about him! ) he did wish me luck and happiness

 

anyway.. day 1 of forever, im ok,had a few tears earlier but on the whole i have been so busy today that i havent had the time to mope too much, plus although its day 1, it isnt the first day 1 so i guess i am already used to this cr@p

 

hoping to get me back this time, not him!

[TheSpoon2Big]

Day 2 update -

I made it through the entire day at work almost without looking at her. I even went around the office break area in an extra effort to avoid her. Once I did this, I noticed her coming over to my side of the office to chit chat with my boss. Not sure if that means anything, but it was weird for me to try to avoid her actually instead of making excuses to talk to her.

 

I'm going on a date with another girl tonight. I am excited to see if I can feel anything.

[Liva]

Day 2

 

Normally I hate to work long hours but now I can't wait to work all day. It distracts my mind of M. since I don't have time to check my phone to see if he has sent a text. He doesn't send me anything but I check it anyway.

 

I was really having a dilemma: I finished working around midnight and my next bus left at 2 am. M. lives near to where I was working so there was a temptation to ask him if I could sleep at his place (or at least wait there until my bus arrived). But I reminded myself about NC challenge so I spent 2 hours waiting for my bus. I came home crying, thinking about how I've messed things up between us.

 

Tuesday is our 5 month anniversary. I usually send him a text saying I love him, but I'm not sure what to do. Last month I sent him a text and to my big surprise he replied. But things were slowly going okay then in comparison to now. I'm going shopping with a friend to distract my mind but I'll have to fight the urge to text or call him.

 

I don't want to end the NC challenge that quickly.

[ken0001]

1 week and 1 day

 

I don't know what reaction I should have. It's a good thing that I immediately blocked her off of my FB account after the breakup. I'll continue this NC approach until I've moved on. It's also a good thing that I find myself not checking her FB, though I have this urge to do so, it's a good thing I'm keeping my thoughts intact.

 

She doesn't want to talk to me.. So be it. She doesn't want to receive anything from me...So be it. She said that there was no other guy. I dunno if I'll believe that. Though in our past 2 breakups, she didn't date anyone. But I know that can change now.

 

All I know is that, At least in the 8 months of our reconciliation, I gave her my everything, just what I had also done when we were still new in our relationship. I don't want to figure out anymore what's on her mind. I know that it's pointless.

 

I just hope that in the end, whether she'll contact me or not, I hope I can immediately heal and move on.

[Llola]

Day 1

 

Ah even the sound of it being day 1 is a killer. So today im feeling a little empowered and not too sad but only because last night i asked to be left alone and to please not be contacted because not only did he tell me he wouldn't give us another chance because he had 'no reason or motivation' to fix things between us but he was also very mean and hurtful and just kept telling me every single thing that was wrong with me...so it made me a bit angy as well as upset but im trying to focus on the anger. But every so often i feel my mind slip into that place where all you can think is what they doing and if they miss you and gosh it hurts sooooooo much. But someone who loves you wouldn't treat you the way i have been treated lately so as hard as it is to let go because your in love, im trying to hold on to the notion that in the long run it wasn't going to work anyway...

 

so day one....here we go!

[MajinGuu]

It's been 1 week and 1 day.

 

I've been out and busy all day, done a lot of things, went shopping, met and talked to a lot of people, even cooked and worked out a little bit while I was home for 1 hour or 2... Yet I'm still thinking of her, there are so many things I'd like to tell her but it would be such a waste of my time.

I still can't properly describe what I'm feeling. I just want to feel indifferent already.

But knowing myself I know it's going to be a really long journey and it's discouraging. I'm always busy yet my thoughts are always for her, no matter what I'm doing. Even looking at another girl's butt makes me think of her, that's how BAD it is.

[kelvenna]

Day 21-22? Finally starting to feel indifferent. Angry at his message a few days ago using our pet names for each other and saying he hopes I'm doing well. You dumped me after I spent nearly $1,000 to travel to California and gave you everything I had. I'm just like.. starting to finally feel finished. My anti-depressants are helping a lot. I don't feel as lost or abandoned. I feel at this point he's done nothing to deserve my attention.

[Liva]

Day 3

 

It's hard to fight the urge to contact him in any way. I'm really tempted to drive to his place and hang out. Or just talk. Whatever, as long as it's with M. I try to concentrate on me (I've been working out, hanging out with friends, ...) but M. is still a huge part of my life.

 

I do hope I can convince him to sit down with me face-to-face. It's been 1.5 months since we last saw each other and I'm not giving up on our relationship before we had a talk in real life. Because text messages and facebook messages just isn't the same.

[sharky988]

Day 3

 

It's hard to fight the urge to contact him in any way. I'm really tempted to drive to his place and hang out. Or just talk. Whatever, as long as it's with M. I try to concentrate on me (I've been working out, hanging out with friends, ...) but M. is still a huge part of my life.

 

I do hope I can convince him to sit down with me face-to-face. It's been 1.5 months since we last saw each other and I'm not giving up on our relationship before we had a talk in real life. Because text messages and facebook messages just isn't the same.

 

Please don't drive to his place or contact him in any way. You need to give him lots of space -- and time enough to decide on his own what he wants. The last thing you want to do is try to convince him to meet you or have contact. This is an important lesson for you: sometimes the best thing you can do is absolutely nothing! Let this unfold and have some faith that it will all work out for the best. Either way, you're going to be fine.

[Liva]

Please don't drive to his place or contact him in any way. You need to give him lots of space -- and time enough to decide on his own what he wants. The last thing you want to do is try to convince him to meet you or have contact. This is an important lesson for you: sometimes the best thing you can do is absolutely nothing! Let this unfold and have some faith that it will all work out for the best. Either way, you're going to be fine.

 

Thanks for the advice! I'm fine at the moment but it's hard. Guess I'll have to stay strong and resist the temptation to contact him

[Llola]

Day 2

 

ok so yesterday i was feeling all good about myself and having fun with friends....today on the other hand every horrible thought has been creeping in my mind...it's so hard not to want to contact him and want to see him. Liva i know exactly what you saying i also just want to drive up to his house and call him...i wont but that urge today is killing me!!! i can't get a hold of my thoughts this is so hard!!!!

[MajinGuu]

1 week and 2 days (3 this evening.)

 

I realized I was doing much more with my life than what I used to do when I was in a relationship, it's so... Weird.

But I know it's a good thing and I'm not going to stop.

I've been having objectively good days lately, I still think of her and sometimes I feel down but overall I think I'm definitely on the right path.

[IAmFCA]

The end of Day 3

 

I was doing great, still doing great, bit of a speed bump this afternoon when he sent me a text.

 

I have not responded and don't intend to, but he has occupied my mind where I like to think he would not otherwise have.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Day 3 -

 

Have been hanging out with another girl all weekend and it has helped me not think about her as much. Still creeps up in my mind. Have to see her at work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. I'm stronger when I don't have to see her.

[IAmFCA]

Day 4 begins.

 

Daxmn his message to me yesterday. It made me dream about him this morning. Granted in my dream he made some statement of undying love and devotion and I rejected him but still. Get out of my body!

 

Argh.

 

At least I have not responded to his message. I suppose maybe I will write him a letter. Maybe not.

 

And thankfully, I have a date on Tuesday, well, its not a date because I have been friend-zoned by the guy, but I enjoy his company anyhow and we are going to see a band, so that will be fun. Tonight and Wednesday I will be working hard, and getting ready for my girls to come home, and then Thursday I drive 6 hours to go pick them up. Being with them all weekend and then taking vaca together next week should give me a HUGE boost and help me exorcise him again. I have a new workout group to kick my butt Tues and Thurs morning, and then after vaca I have a date with a new guy I havent met yet but I like lots of things I have learned about him.

 

He is a dumbaxs to let me go. He knows it. I just want to tell YOU ARE A DUMB AXS!

 

But what is the point and why would I want a man who can't get his act together? Really.