Llola

Day 4 Well today was really hard, it marked the day that makes it a week since we broke up officially. Today was very hard...I cried so much today and couldn't help but blame myself for everything. That maybe if I had just waited a few more days and stuck it out maybe it would of worked out, if I had just tried that bit harder I don't know everything seems to be creeping up on me. It feels like I could of done so much more even though I know I did a lot my mind is playing very harsh games with me. I know im suppose to be doing this nc thing but what makes it hard is that I don't think my ex is even thinking about contacting me...he's probably just fine and that kills me. I hope nc helps me move on quicker because this feeling is soooo horrible. I got final exams next week and I just can't seem to focus. This is horrible!

Day 2 ok so yesterday i was feeling all good about myself and having fun with friends....today on the other hand every horrible thought has been creeping in my mind...it's so hard not to want to contact him and want to see him. Liva i know exactly what you saying i also just want to drive up to his house and call him...i wont but that urge today is killing me!!! i can't get a hold of my thoughts this is so hard!!!!

Day 1 Ah even the sound of it being day 1 is a killer. So today im feeling a little empowered and not too sad but only because last night i asked to be left alone and to please not be contacted because not only did he tell me he wouldn't give us another chance because he had 'no reason or motivation' to fix things between us but he was also very mean and hurtful and just kept telling me every single thing that was wrong with me...so it made me a bit angy as well as upset but im trying to focus on the anger. But every so often i feel my mind slip into that place where all you can think is what they doing and if they miss you and gosh it hurts sooooooo much. But someone who loves you wouldn't treat you the way i have been treated lately so as hard as it is to let go because your in love, im trying to hold on to the notion that in the long run it wasn't going to work anyway... so day one....here we go!