THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Nightm4re]

30 NC

 

Will finish the challenge tomorrow!

I feeling better and less hate for the ex for breaking up with me (through a text message).

What to do now guys? Still have a light urgue to contact her and clear things up between us, becasue the last time we saw each other was when we were still together.

Shall I message her, by asking her how she's doing or stay in NC? Maybe it's still too early tho..

 

ps. I don't want her back.

[carolinemk]

Day 7

 

Made it a week. Today, and the past few days have been difficult. I keep wanting to talk with him, but manage to keep to my NC.

 

I know I will have to talk to him within the next few days, because I told him I would text when I'm home to let him know if I was able to meet up this weekend. Good news is that, even if I wanted to, I likely won't have the time due to his schedule and mine. Postponing the meetup longer will hopefully make it less about getting emotional closure, and more about [maybe] reigniting some positive memories. Yes...while my whole goal of NC is to heal myself, I still think my ex and I could potentially reconcile. At this point, I know I don't need him in my life, but I want him as a part of it, but I know I have to be prepared for things not to work out. The more time that goes on, the more positive I can really be, and act, when he and I meet up. I think that positivity and lightheartedness is the key to moving forward, if possible. If not, oh well, I will be more capable at healing that news in the future than this weekend.

 

Ever since he sent the text on Friday evening, I have been yearning for another one...just so I know he is still thinking about me. I don't need proof, I know he is thinking about me regardless of whether or not he texts me, but I do want him back in my life.

[Fredd]

There's the story:

 

DAY 1: was yesterday, considering I texted him Monday (no answer) and it was relatively fine as I had things to do: go for an interview, went out with my flatmate for a beer. Good.

 

DAY 2: I couldn't get him off my mind. I feel really like s***. I don't want to contact him, but I'd like for him to text back. As I don't have a job right now, an I'm alone at home, I really feel bad. I can't stop thinking how weird my behavior was in the past 15 days.

[carolinemk]

Day 8

 

Met up with a friend from college for lunch. It was lovely. Still have the itch to talk to my ex, and am now, unfortunately in "countdown mode" until this weekend when I can send him my, "sorry, I am too busy this weekend for a meetup, but maybe in a month or so when I settle at home." I know I have to, and want to, resume no contact after that depending on his response to me.

 

Need to stop thinking about talking to him. *beat head against wall*

[Art Vandelay]

I think it's about day 25-26 now since NC, about 35 since the break up. Been feeling good lately, thinking about her less. until someone said maybe I should text her to catch up one last time.

 

Initially I thought nah, but now I'm not so sure. I do want to see her, feels like its been forever, and I dont feel as though I'm going to ask for her to take me back. I also have some DVDs of hers to return. I'm hesitant but maybe it's the final closure I need?

 

Any thoughts or advice on this would be great. Cheers

[gotexans12]

Will be going with my friends to the movies tomorrow. It sucks that they are moving soon. I'm jobless right now. I just graduated from nursing school. Everyone wants experience. I'm home a lone. Soon my brother will be moving out to his new house with his fiance. Then it will be even worse. My friends are also moving away for medical school. My dog died. THis sucks.

[carolinemk]

Day 9 (sort of)

 

 

Let me be upfront: I did contact my ex today. I finally confirmed that I have a job interview Monday, and texted him telling him that I couldn't meet up this weekend because each day was pretty busy. I knew going into NC, that I would let him know about meeting this weekend, and so it was a pre-determined contact, and that's why I, personally, don't count it as a failure of NC. He responded, almost instantly, saying that was fine, because he is having a really hard time with this and he didn't feel ready anyways. He also wished me luck on the interview. I responded again with something kind, but positive, and upbeat. We had a very short conversation, which I ended because I had to go to my daily meeting at work. I made him laugh a few times in our texting conversation, which, I think was good

 

While we did have a small exchange, I know I kept my dignity, said nothing groveling or desperate. He, on the other hand, seemed to not be handling things so well. I know he misses me, just as I miss him, and I hope he is finally starting to realize the issues he has with commitment and fidelity. As I said, I hope we might have room for a reconciliation, or at least to meet up / hang out / have fun over the summer, and I think my positivity, while still remaining kind towards him could help with that. He said he wanted to meet up when I came home for good in a few weeks. I'm thinking mid-end of July might be a good time to try and reconnect/respark some things.

 

I might switch to NIC depending on if he texts me at any point between now and then, and if he does, what sort of text it is. I will not beg nor grovel.

[Fredd]

DAY 3: I was tempted to tell him how much I miss the friend I've lost. But I didn't.

I went for an interview and then ended catching up with a friend of mine, which was very good.

 

Problem is I don't have a job, right now, and I spend a lot of time at home by myself.

I hope I can have a job very soon...

[marshmallito]

Day 38

I think I have finally let go. Probably time, space and having a potential new boyfriend to flirt with have all contributed. I still hope to hear from him, I never wanted the relationship to end... but I don't expect it anymore.

[nhoj]

Well after over two months of nc, I am back to day 1 after texting her last night, should be easy since she is away to India for 3 months, should be able to get my emotions sorted if I even want to be friends when she gets back

[Nightm4re]

Back to 0 .....

 

Yesterday I heard that she was dating one of my 'friends'. So I flipped to the both of them.

NC starts again, sigh

[Red Tie]

I like this idea and since I need to vent some frustration over this break up, lets do this!!

 

Its been:

-16 days since we broke up

-12 days since she contacted me

-08 days since I sent a birthday message to her son (broke NC rule and I feel so ashamed)

-01 days since I checked her Facebook and I feel like **** because she is still single and I feel an urge to call her back and try to get things back to where we were. Although I know its a bad idea. We are oil and water.

 

So, this will by my

 

Day 1:

I feel like #$%&!!! I checked her FB yesterday and I really feel an urge to call her. I keep telling myself that I am in control. I will not contact her but its so easy to do it. Just a plain text saying "Hi! how are you doing?" - But I cant. I know she will ignore me and I will only feed her enormous ego. Im better than that, I know... but its so damn hard...

[carolinemk]

I had three separate dreams about him last night.

 

What was weird about the dreams is that, unlike the ones i was having last week, these were so bizarrely normal. Each one was just an average "date" dream. In each one we went on three different "dates" to three places he and I always loved together. I woke up feeling like I was back together with him, and that none of this breakup stuff had been real, which led me to a crappy realization once my mind cleared from the sleep.

 

I don't feel depressed about my dream, but, I do realize that obviously my brief conversation with him yesterday probably did inspire a little too much hope in me.

[Fredd]

I broke the NC.

No answer, of course. I'm very stupid... I will start again.

Problem is I feel guilty and as it was me the one who screwed up everything, and I can't get over this feeling.

And now I know I fed is ego again. Stupid me!

[confusedlove77]

Please help Day 1 no contact and want to call or text him because we on good terms and supposed to be friends!

[beaton]

Day...41. Wow.

So I checked my email for the first time in a while, and saw that he emailed me a week ago (a month nc) wishing me well with a video he thought I would like.

I toyed with the idea of responding, but I've come so far it would be stupid to contact him. I'm fine. Why ruin that.

[Fredd]

This is DAY 1 as yesterday I screwed up.

Anyway I'm happy I did so, as it made me realize things...

 

My only contact with him, and I already said it, will be a quick "HI" when we are both out with she same people. A "BYE" as well, if that happens.

Full stop.

[confusedlove77]

Day 2

 

Didn't make contact last night and feel stronger for it. Today hasn't been bad at all, busy at work and now home and going to do the ironing

[diesel85]

day 28

 

I still feel this deep feeling of loneliness weighing me down. My mind is constantly wandering back towards her. I have been trying to meditate to create a sort of anchor in my own mind. I know A sense of Stillness and tranquility in my own mind Will keep me from clinging or grasping onto the past.....it is helping

[Fredd]

Day 2.

 

A part of me thinks he will come back, everybody seems to think so.

Another part of me knows, anyway, there's no way back unless he changes completely, which is not alike.

 

I haven't seen him yesterday.

I miss his "good moments" and our friendship.

I don't miss how he made me feel so often, in the last months... and I know I don't want to go back to that condition.

[Red Tie]

Day 4!

 

Feel great today! Had a great weekend working and it helped to keep my mind distracted of her.

Today I woke up and my first thought wasnt about her but all the soreness of by body due to weekend work, lol.

 

Lets see how this day goes and I´ll be back tomorrow with day 5!!

[confusedlove77]

Day 4

 

Getting harder and harder not to contact you, couldn't concentrate even at work today you were constantly on my mind

 

Wish this would all just stop so i can feel normal again

[hopelessincan]

day 21. Unbelievable. It's starting to feel like I never meant anything after 3.5 years.

 

Oh well surprisingly today I feel ok. It may have something to do with the fact that I was really really low yesterday. Who knows. All I know is we have never gone 3 straight weeks without so much as a text or email or something. Hmmmm but then again it takes him a really long time to process things.

 

I am starting to feel bitter towards him now. He told me he didn't want this at all and would think about things. Yet I haven't gotten so much as a hello from him. Screw him. The longer it goes on, the less my mind wants to contact him. I think a small part of me thought he'd be back in some form by now. But its him so I should double it and maybe 3 weeks from now he will. By then...well...that's a long time...

[Fredd]

Day 3 for me

Day 9 for him

 

I feel OK. I don't want to contact him. I'm realizing the way he behaved with me.

I think that, if something has to happen, it must come on his part and not mine.

 

As for me I'll be relaxed if I meet him but nothing else. I perfectly know that I don't want to go back to the old situation...

[Aloneathome]

this Saturday coming will be a month time fly's, she texted me a few weeks ago saying she misses having a bf, then next day she said she was drunk, I did not text her once, I heard that she is going away to France with a new bf and has been messing around with this new man for weeks now, its a shame how one min you have a good thing to nothing at all,

 

9 months now when we split up and it still hurts like mad